Goals – part two


A little background into my 2018 goals, Mistress came up with these goals without my initial input and then we discussed each one at length. She insisted that I agree them before the became “official” at which point they became MY goals.

There is a punishment for each goal that I do not achieve, I do not know what the punishments are as Mistress doesn’t want that to be the motivator to complete them but I have been assured they will be severe.

I am going to expand a little on each of the goals that Mistress mentioned and give a little more detail explaining the reason behind each one:

Submit to a permanent body modification of my choosing

It has been a long-standing kink of mine to have body modifications forced upon me. Well not forced really, consensual but without me having any input in what modifications will be made. This has been done before with the laser removal of my pubic hair, the reduction of my clit hood and the installation of a large sealed clit ring although the latter of those was subsequently removed.

This will be modification of Mistresses choosing, it will be permanent and will be the first physical change of many that she had planned for my (her) body. I am very excited to start this.

Spend four weeks in chastity

A few people have made incorrect assumptions about this, the definition of chastity is: “the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse”. The goal is to refrain from ALL sexual activity for a period of four weeks, which means no giving or receiving of any sexual activity, no porn, no touching, no talking about sex or sexual activities, not even any TV containing sex scenes beyond kissing.

The mistake many people made was assuming this meant I would be wearing my chastity belt for these four weeks, not so. The belt would actually assist me by physically preventing sexual contact, I have to achieve this through willpower alone. I am seriously concerned that I will struggle to achieve this and will have to make multiple attempts at it, which would mean more than four weeks of chastity.

Contact and make peace with the person who caused her to leave London

The argument Mistress made for this is that the memory of those events still hangs over my present day life in significant and damaging ways. She made the point that it has had a detrimental effect on my vanilla and BDSM lives for too long and I need to make my peace with it.

She explains it better than that and she makes a very convincing argument about it. I have already been able to obtain contact details for the person who started it all but I think it will take me a little while to get the courage to contact her.

Give an orgasm to 52 people that she hadn’t met before 2018

One stranger for every week of 2018. This should be an interesting and fun one, who doesn’t like giving people orgasms?! There isn’t much I can expand on really.

Speak to her mother every other day

When I get very busy I become terrible at keeping in touch with my family, it’s not that I don’t want to, it can just hard to find the time when we are both available to speak properly. This goal will have several positive effects, it will make my mother happy, it will endear Mistress to my mother and it will make me happy and guilt free.

Achieve an average daily views count of 500 on this blog

Last year (2017) was my best year yet, I got a total of 85,512 views on my blog. It sounds good until you work out that it only equates to an average of 234 views a day.

I know there are several things I can do to improve this, the most obvious being to post more often which is something I have struggled with the entire time I have had this blog but I can only try. I’m also going to turn off the notifications on Tumblr and Twitter and start posting my own notifications with more information and watermarked images.

Could I also ask that if you follow me on Tumblr to please reblog my new post notifications rather than just “liking” them. Liking them is nice but it really doesn’t help me get new readers interested in my blog.

I really think this will be difficult so any help and/or suggestions would be greatly received.

Buy a new house with me

This is fairly self-explanatory and is something we have talked about for a few months, the intention is to buy the “perfect” house together and we are currently looking although there are a number of issues to overcome first.

Have her septum pierced

I love the look of a sub being led by a ring through her septum but I can’t have one for work, right or wrong I wouldn’t be allowed to represent my company with a nose piercing.

So, the plan is to get a large gauge hole pierced through my septum and to wear a flesh tunnel piercing in it so that Mistress can insert and remove a ring at her pleasure. To be honest I don’t even know if that is possible generally or specifically with my anatomy, if anyone (who is qualified to advise) has any advice on this please get in touch.

Experience Domming a submissive

I’ve always said that I don’t have a dominant bone in my body and I still maintain that is true. However, just has Mistress has submitted before to give her a better understanding of what it is like to be a submissive she believes I need to experience the other side of this lifestyle to properly understand what it is like for her.

I’m apprehensive about this as I do not want to disappoint Mistress, the sub or the sub’s Dominant by being bad at it but I do understand what she wants me to get out of it and when the time comes I will do my best to be the best Domme I can be.

Achieve two of her fantasies

There are six of these that I haven’t done yet, I’m not sure which ones I will attempt to achieve this year but they are all fairly extreme and will no doubt be difficult but fun. I know that people have already contacted Mistress with a view to helping me achieve this goal so I am sure I won’t have any problems doing so.

Fully expose her lifestyle to at least one person who has known her in real life for more than five years

As anyone who has read my blog will know this absolutely terrifies me, although that may change once I achieve one of my other goals further up the page. The easy choice here would be my sister, she already has some knowledge of my lifestyle and now that she has come to terms with that she may be able to accept some of the more extreme details of how I live my life. My concern though is that while what she has learnt so far hasn’t changed my relationship with her, learning the full extent of my submissiveness might do and I don’t want that.

The point of this goal is to merge the two halves of my life, Mistress believes that living these two lives for so long has damaged, or at least limited, both of them. She believes people are more open to alternative lifestyles than I think and that I would be happier if my whole life was out in the open.

Exceed her current “most painful torture”

The most single painful torture I ever endured was having sharpened BBQ skewers pierced through my breasts. There have been experiences which were probably harder to endure than that but for a single act of torture I think that was the worst.

That was a long time ago and I know, and more importantly Mistress knows, that my pain threshold is now way lower than it was then. Mistress wants to move me forward in all aspects of BDSM which means in the area of masochism she needs to get me back to the level of pain tolerance I was at and then take me further.

I don’t know what would be more painful than that but I’m sure I could find some things on Torture Galaxy that she could try. Or, suggestions from my readers would be welcome!

I have actually already achieved one of my goals, Mistress hinted at it in her post, can you guess which one?

27 thoughts on “Goals – part two

  1. Js

    Lol, how did I know you had little to no input to any of this?

    Even when you say you “discussed it” there doesn’t seem to be a shred of your own self formed opinion.

    It’s frankly depressing now. At a certain point you may as well just tattoo victim on your forehead.

    Don’t get me wrong neither your Domme nor you intend this I’m not saying there is any veiled malevolence involved but the road to hell is paved with good intent. I can’t watch this train crash again.

    • Lois

      I think maybe you have misunderstood and/or made some incorrect assumptions here.

      Firstly I think you’ll find I said we “discussed it at length”, this is entirely true. The reason Mistress constructed the draft list was because a) she is my Mistress and b) I have come to trust her judgement and that she has my best interests at heart. We discussed her reasons for wanting me to achieve each of these goals and ultimately I agreed with her, had I objected the goal would not have made the list.

      I’m am curious why you would call me a “victim”, which I find offensive to be honest and also what you mean by “I can’t watch this train crash again”?

      • Js

        As I said none of it is malicious. In fact I am not for a second saying you aren’t both in love and happy.

        However, I profile I read, literally, the psychology and while I totally wish you both the very best, and don’t get me wrong nothing is inevitable, I can’t read what I see could happen.

        Imagine you have dealt with too many relationships d/s or otherwise where you helped pick up the pieces. Had to put them all back together again. Now to get my perspective very simply… look at what you just wrote …

        Discussed at length…
        It was a draft list …
        I trust her judgement….
        Ultimately I agreed….

        How many conversations follow that kind of structure?

        From your own writing, over the years, it is a theme.

        You are sublimely submissive and your Domme obviously very dominant but both your strengths feed into each other. I could be totally wrong, I hope I am.

          • Ian

            I see the base of the concerns JS is basing his opinions on. But knowing D/s Very well from both sides of the coin and also having seen your posts over the years I’m quite confide by the concerns are unnecessary.

            Allow me to expand.

            In some cases a submissive who follows the victim path, will discuss and ultimately agree to any demand from a person they care for due to their needs to please. This could include all the above highlighted sections using the “discussed at length” meaning Domme has told you in depth why you are going to do this when you’ve asked why.

            I believe in your current situation though you have a very good communication base, where you talk on a level playing field and don’t worry about voicing concerns. If for example Fiona wished for you to have half of your hair shaved off, I think you would have no issue in saying that you wouldn’t be willing to do that. Which is where the difference between the true D/s submissive and the perpetual victim submissive lies.

            I have always said that a true Dom/Domme knows the value of a true submissive. A Dom/Domme without a submissive that trusts them enough to give their power over is not a Dom/Domme, it’s only with the trust and responsibility that the sub passes over that a dominant person becomes a Dom/Domme. If as a Dom/Domme you don’t have the trust bestowed willingly upon you by a submissive. But instead you are manipulating their need to please to make them agree to what you want, then you don’t have a submissive you have a victim.

            I wholeheartedly believe that in your case this isn’t the situation and you are in control as much as you want to be.

            Fiona/Lois good luck for the coming year and if either of you want to chat please feel free to message me.

            • mistressfionab

              I also understand the basis of their concerns and agree that based on some of Lois’ history they are entirely valid. I believe many of the partners she has trusted in the past, and still trusts to this day, have abused that trust and taken her down paths that she was not psychologically ready for. In fact her past is littered with betrayals that she still isn’t ready to accept, never-mind move on from.

              My role as her Domme is not to manipulate her or to force her into things that she doesn’t want as has happened in the past. My role is to take her strengths and grow them whilst at the same time identifying her weaknesses and diminishing them.

              Does that means pushing at the edges of what she might voluntarily do? Yes, of course it does, we are in a D/s relationship after all.Does it mean that she cannot push back in a respectful and constructive way? Of course not, we are on a journey together just like any relationship and despite her submissive nature her role in her own destiny is very much front and centre. Additionally she has a huge role in growing me as a Domme and as a person.

              We are equal in importance in this relationship, we simple have different levels of authority.

        • mistressfionab

          Js, the disparaging tone of your messages is judgemental and inappropriate. I have no problem with Lois’ readers commenting and advising her, in fact I welcome it as I know she does, however I would ask that you choose your words and tone more carefully in future.

          These goals were chosen for Lois using my intimate knowledge of her history, personality, strengths and weaknesses both as a submissive and simply as a person. Great care and thought went into some of them whilst others are more frivolous and fun but none were set in stone without her sincere thought and consent.

          Yes Lois is “sublimely submissive” as you put it but she is far from stupid. Like all of us she has made mistakes in the past and like most of us she has learnt from them. By all means express your opinion but please make it constructive and respectful of the journey she is on that she is sharing with you all.

  2. Skinowner

    Who doesn’t like giving orgasms? At an average of one a week you will in chastity for four of those. Now tell me again who doesn’t like giving orgasms?

  3. Hut

    Hello Lois, with respect to the last goal, you had this idea some time ago to have your pussy tortured with electricity until you pass out. You even asked for information about cattle prods, etc. Did you give up on that one? For sure this would fulfil that goal…

    • Lois

      According to the deluge of messages I got, receiving enough electricity to cause you to pass out isn’t altogether safe so we went back to the drawing board on that.

      Someone we know was looking at building something that would give a powerful but safe effect but they have a family issue so that is on the back burner for now.

  4. Bernd

    I love your blog and many of your goals are very close to my goals – but I still wait for the sadistic person, who will realize it with me….

  5. IflyHG

    Clearly Fiona knows Lois more completely than any of the rest of us could ever hope to achieve. The glimpses into Fiona that Lois has provided by sharing her stories of their lives together, plus Fiona’s own posts, show me that Fiona cares very deeply for Lois and wants the best for her. Two events stand out in my mind, Lois’s 2017 birthday and Fiona traveling to NYC to visit Lois while she was away for work. In both cases Fiona made a substantial effort and significant self sacrifice to bring joy and happiness to Lois. I only know from my own limited experience and from the glimpses we all get on this blog but I believe what Fiona and Lois have posted is true and will be healthy for the both of them.

    The list does seem like a good collection of fun, growth, and challenge. Thanks for sharing.

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