A bit about me

Seems a good place to start a new blog!  Well, I say new, its been here a while just patiently waiting for me to actually write something but I suppose as this is going to be the first real post it is still new!

So, to start I think I’ll list a few words to describe myself; submissive, masochistic, extreme, perverted, professional, responsible, serious, playful.  The first four relate to the side of my life that I will be writing about in this blog, the sexually submissive pain loving side, the latter four relate to the other part of my life which is the part where I have a successful career as a solicitor, a mortgage and very vanilla friends and colleagues and an active social life.  I guess the last one could relate to both 😉

The next part is a bit of history on me…..I was a “normal” girl up until the age of 18 when, on a whim, I decided to get my nipples pierced.  It was one of those epiphany moments!  I realise that day that I enjoyed pain, I not only enjoyed it but got sexual pleasure from it, that moment is the reason I am the way I am today.

After that I had several frustrating years sometimes embracing my masochism but mostly fighting it and trying to be like all the other girls. having boyfriends etc etc

Eventually I found a boyfriend who was into light bondage and had some fun with him, then I had another boyfriend who was more dominant, a little rougher and he helped me discover my submissive side but it didn’t last too long because I moved onto a slightly older guy who was much more dominant and who became my Master for a time, although I was never collared, I was just his sub.

That relationship also ended and then I met a girl called Joanne, we hit it off immediately and after a while started a secret relationship (my frist with a woman) which eventually turned into a Dominant/submissive relationship when I was collared as her slave (with a contact and everything).

I used to have a blog on here at the address painslutlois.wordpress.com.  I used it to chronicle my adventures with Joanne, I also used the blog to get people to send me tasks to perform either on my own or with Jo’s help and then would write about it on the blog.

During my time as Jo’s slave I fulfilled a lot of my fantasies and a lot of hers, I did some crazy things and enjoyed them all, in hindsight if not always at the time!  I had both my nipples pierced and three rings in each outer labia all done on Jo’s orders and she also had me undergo laser hair removal on my pubic region so I can no longer grow hair there.

I had a lot of fun back then but that all ended when Jo was offered an amazing job opportunity in Australia, it was too good to turn down and as my career was just getting off the ground I didn’t want to leave.  It was a devastating time for me, Jo was my friend, then girlfriend before she was my Mistress and not only that she was the one who helped me realise (admit) that I was more attracted to women than men in the first place. I didn’t handle it well (and nor did she in my opinion) and it didn’t end on particularly healthy terms (she had released me from the slave contract by this point).

It was only a few months after this, and while I was still very down, that I had drunken “relations” with a very close female (vanilla) (straight?!) friend of mine and through her discovery of my piercings she learned a few truths about me that my vanilla group of friends had never been privy to before.  That night I was truly happy for the first time in a long time, however….

When I woke up the next morning, very hung over, she was gone.  I tried calling her and couldn’t get hold of her and by the following day I was starting to worry, mainly that we/I had damaged my relationship with this close friend but then as I struggled to get hold of other friends I started to worry more.

Eventually it came out that the girl who I’d slept with had regretted it big time once she sobered up because she was “straight” and I was “sick” and I should “stay away from her”, but worst of all she had told all of our friends about me, about my piercings and my fetishes (of which she only knew a few thankfully) and from there my life in London (where I was living at the time) began to degrade very  quickly.  One of the friends worked at my firm and though he never said anything I lived in constant fear that my colleagues, or worse my bosses, would find out.

I was lonely and depressed and eventually I decided to do something drastic, I found a new job and I left London within a month and without telling anybody outside of my family to whom I spun a tale about an amazing job offer in Cambridge. As it turns out the job I found was an amazing opportunity and since moving here I have made new friends and been promoted and bought a house.

The only down side of this new life is that I havent actively participated in the real life BDSM scene for a long time, that was the sacrifice I made when I moved here, I decided to have a “normal” life.  I removed my piercings, I deleted my blog and my email account and I left it all behind.  However, I wasn’t able to leave it behind completely, I’d left certain accounts open, like my SlaveFarm one, and after nearly a year I started to look again, then I set up a new mail account for my Lois Tyler “persona” (Lois is my real name, Tyler isn’t!) and then every now and again, when the urges got too strong I started to talk to people from SF, ask them for tasks that would be safe enough that I wouldn’t get exposed and carry them out.

That is sort of where I am now, although I keep disappointing people by not replying for ages or giving them reports when I say I will.  This is mainly because I am extremely busy with work and don’t get a great deal of time to myself despite living alone, but I try my best to always get back to people eventually.

I decided to start up my blog again as a way of doing this without upsetting anyone, I thought maybe it can be like it was before.  And maybe it can, maybe it can’t, we will see but in the mean time I will just write down things that come to me and hopefully people will read it and enjoy it…..I feel like I’m rambling a bit now!

That’s it for “A brief history of Lois Tyler”!  I’m going to go and dry my face now as the story above always makes me cry, hopefully this will be the last time I have to tell it for a while!

15 thoughts on “A bit about me

  1. Dante

    Welcome back Lois “Tyler”…although you really never quite left the darkness. Thanks for your post and I look forward to more. Perhaps I will be lucky enough to catch you at the Farm but if not I guess here is as good as any. Keep up with the posts…and not to worry, I’m from over the pond.

  2. chris

    Hey Lois, great and honest blog, it is always difficult to share this with other people who understand, always interesting to see how you get “rejected” when you don’t fit the “correct pattern”…..Don’t worry, you have a lot of friends who understand, and with me added, an extra one…..
    Thanks for sharing this all and a pity your not close by, would love to get to know yo better !
    Til soon …..and a GREAT 2012 !

    • Lois

      Thank you, it’s nice to know people are reading already! X

      It’s hard to talk/write about some of those things but it’s also theroputic to get it out I think.

  3. Phil

    PainslutLois, It took courage to come to grips both with your “desire” of women and your “need” of pain! Your journey has been filled with love, hate, excitement, depression…but just remember that your journey is just beginning. The time you spent away from your reality, was time well spent. Now that you picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, you took the first step towards, I believe, your final destination. Of course, the “journey” is what gives meaning to life, not the destination! Let your journey be filled with passion, pleasure, and mind-numbing pain!


    PS Hope to see you on the farm!

  4. enno

    Hey Lois,

    I’m very glad you’re back.
    Actually it took very much courage to rearrange your life and stand up again.
    I’m proud of you.


  5. chang

    *gasp* you’re back! *big smile* I used to follow your blog years ago and then *poof*…. you vanished! I always wondered what must have happened to make you suddenly delete your blog. Now I know. I can’t believe that girl betrayed your trust like that. Unbelievable. What IS it with some people? Just shows, revealing fetishes to vanilla people is a risky business. Anyway, I’m glad it’s all worked out in the end.

  6. Strict

    phew.. amazing story… truly amazing. I’m sorry that you’ve had such a bad experience. I understand why you are so cautious and private.

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