Arguing with a Domme

Arguing2

Couples argue, it’s part of being in a relationship, I mean if you got along ALL of the time it would be boring. Those aren’t my words, they’re the words of a vanilla friend who’d fallen out with her boyfriend over something and nothing but I completely agree with her, arguments happen.

However I’m not in a vanilla relationship and if you were to go by some of the more misogynistic opinions on my Tumblr feed then my opinion, as a sub and even as a woman, doesn’t matter in the slightest. That’s fantasy though, I live in the real world.

In the real world I have a high stress job where I have to make decisions all day and my opinion is not only important but is sought by those beneath and above me in the company structure. All of which is sort of irrelevant because I’m not a submissive at work, I’m a submissive at home.

At home I’m subservient in nearly every way to my Mistress, she chooses what I wear, what I eat, what I buy and where I sleep. She chooses who I fuck! When you list it out like that it makes me sound like a mindless zombie just following orders and not thinking for myself but that’s also not true, I don’t just turn off my intelligence and opinions at the front door, it would drive me insane if my opinion was never considered when decisions are made that effect me.

One of the things I love about my Mistress is that she always listens to my opinion, I get to have an input on most things because she values my opinion and in fact she has told me on more than one occasion that my intelligence is one of the things that she finds most attractive about me. At the end of the day Mistress is the one who makes the decisions but the fact that I’ve had an input is important, I don’t think I could be with someone who wanted to run my life for me unilaterally despite how appealing it may sound as a fantasy.

I feel I got sidetracked! The point of the post is that despite our dynamic it’s not all me following orders and her telling me what to do and what to think. Tonight, we had both had a challenging day at work and were a bit…tetchy, a small thing set us off. I was making our evening meal when she came in and poured herself some orange juice and left the bottle on the side, I picked it up and put it back before somewhat vigorously closing the fridge door and things escalated a bit from there.

Was it an overreaction caused by being tired? Probably. Was it unreasonable for me to expect her to put the bottle away rather than making more work for me (the person who tidies the whole house)? No (Her words). Did we both react badly and say unnecessary things? Yes. Did I get caned afterwards? Yes, but not for arguing, that was mutual and Mistress would never punish me for raising an issue with her, the caning was for “slamming the fridge door like a petulant child” or in other words, for being disrespectful to my Mistress. Which is fair enough, my discomfort when sitting today will hopefully pop back into my mind when I feel the need to act that way again.

This is a meandering rant of a post so for that I apologise. I think the point I am trying to make is that whilst we have a slightly less common dynamic than is “normal” and the balance of authority is asymmetrical, we are still a normal couple with equal importance and meaning in the relationship, I think that is something that is often lost amongst all of the bluster and fantasy of D/s relationships.