Perfect surprise

As you know I am currently in New York for work and have been here for about two months at this point. At first it was exciting, I love cities and this city in particular (it’s not the first time I’ve stayed here for work) but after this long of being on your own it just becomes lonely.

I talk to Mistress daily, obviously, and we have had some fun with the vibrating egg and plug that she sent back with me last time I was home. Those of you who follow me on Tumblr will have seen the effect she can have on me even from across the Atlantic.

The story behind that picture is that she had been torturing me with both plugs set to full for an hour and I was dripping wet and desperate to cum, that’s when I sent that snap to her, two hours later when I still wasn’t allowed to cum I was a drippy shaking mess begging for some relief that she never gave me, not that day anyway!

Anyway, last Friday night I was sitting in my apartment reading, dutifully plugged and waiting for Mistress to contact me, she had told me she would be unavailable for a few hours, when there was a knock at the door. No one has ever knocked at the door so it was a little bit of a surprise but I got up and went to open it.

I’m sure you’ve guessed who it was! I involuntarily burst into tears and they my arms around Mistress forgetting any pretence self-control and she hugged me back just as tightly until finally she pulled my arms from around her and led me back into the apartment.

That night we ate take away food, drank a couple of bottles of wine and had some amazing, passionate but fairly vanilla (for us!) sex and it was the happiest I’d been in weeks!

I won’t go into loads of detail about what we spent the weekend doing, we did a few of the touristy things together and quite a significant amount of shopping. Mistress had fun making me try on outfit after outfit until she found things she liked me in, I of course had no say in what I ended up buying!

The whole time we were out I was wearing both my vibrating egg and plug and she would set them off at random. At least it was random to me, to Mistress I’m quite certain each one was meticulously planned. For instance when I was paying for some items and talking to the checkout person and all of a sudden both vibes went to full speed. Or when I went to the bathroom in a restaurant and was just about to pee when the egg turned on!

One thing I really loved was walking around Manhattan hand in hand with Mistress, kissing her and hugging and no one batting an eyelid. We do walk around holding hands and things at home and most people don’t make any indication they have noticed but there are always a few second glances or whispered “look, they’re lesbians” comments, no one even noticed here. Another thing I love about big cities like New York and London.

Whilst I’ve been here I’ve obviously not played and have certainly not had any pain inflicted on me and Mistress doesn’t want my pain to start going backwards again so on Sunday she used some rope that she had bought and we found somewhere in the apartment where I could have my arms tied above my head.

She’d brought some toys with her and I happily took the ball gag into my mouth as I stood there naked, arms bound, helpless for my Mistress. She started with a flogger, warming the backs of my thighs, my ass, my breasts and finally, after ordering me to spread my legs, my pussy.

Once everywhere was nice and pink she took out her cane. Mistress has a black wooden cane that is her favourite, I’m not sure what type of wood it is but it is a long, smooth black wooden cane with no handle or anything, just a simple cane. She started on my ass with some firm, painful but not severe strikes spaced about an inch apart and then continued down the back of my thighs.

Each swat left a stinging red line where it hit and she gave me just enough time in between for the pain to register before the next one landed. After my rear was nicely marked she pushed her hand between my legs and found it as you would expect, very wet. She smiled, I blushed, then she put her other hand between her own legs and showed me her equally wet fingers before wiping them over my lips.

I watched her smiling eyes as used the cane to stripe my chest, being careful to strike both of them equally with each swat and causing a particularly wide-eyed squeal from me when she hit directly on my nipples and, with my piercings preventing the cane hitting any more flesh, my nipples exploded in pain.

Round two started on my ass again, this time she definitely upped the severity of the impacts and I had to bite down on the gag as I took the pain of each hit. The one which struck at the crease between my ass cheeks and thighs was particularly painful and very uncomfortable for a good few days afterwards. By the time she got back to my breasts she was really in her stride and I watched my drool soaked breasts as she raised angry red welts across them.

The pain was intense and when tears were flowing when she let me down and I fell into her arms. She took me to the bed, sitting me on the end and then pushing me down onto it. She stood back up and said “spread”. Obviously I knew what was coming and it took quite a bit of willpower to open my legs and watch as she lined up the cane and brought it down in a swift flick striking my pussy lip hard. I couldn’t keep my legs from shooting together as I screamed into the gag but she just waited patiently while I recovered my composure and opened them again. When my legs went together again after she caned my other pussy lip I could already feel them beginning to swell up.

She let me lay on the bed for a little while and then she unbuckled and removed my ball gag, quickly replacing it with a dildo gag. This gag has a small cock shaped mouth piece that goes fairly deep into my mouth and then it has a three strap harness that goes around my head. Protruding from the front is a large, thick dildo.

With it in place Mistress straddled my head and I could see there was no lube needed as I felt pressure in my mouth and watched her beautiful pussy open around the dildo and slide down until her lips touched mine. She fucked my face for at least ten minutes, slapping my hands whenever they wondered up her thighs until eventually she pushed deep onto the dildo until she was smothering me whilst her pussy pulsed on my face as she came.

When she removed the gag she reversed it so I could lick it clean before discarding it, my face was covered in her juices, my hair was wet with it and my mouth and nose were full of her taste and scent, it was amazing. She manoeuvred my body until we could slide our pussies together and then she began to grind into me slowly. She slapped my ass whenever I tried to reciprocate, she wanted to be in control and she made it last until I was begging her to let me cum, when she did it was explosive!

On the Monday we didn’t do much, there was an attempted terrorist attack in the city and it put us off travelling to far. Eventually we travelled to the airport together and I said a quite tearful goodbye before travelling back to my apartment which seemed emptier than ever.

The good news is that I am going home tomorrow and it looks like I won’t need to come back so yay!!

Finally, to everyone who took part in the present for my lovely friend HitMeHarrder, thank you. And to everyone that I didn’t manage to invite, my apologies!

Merry Christmas everyone xx

Hindsight

When I was in my second year at University (College to any US readers) I was a very different person. For a start I was straight (or thought I was) and was really quite vanilla. It wasn’t long since I’d had my nipples pierced for the first time which was the event that awakened my masochism, you can read about that elsewhere on this blog.

I was much like any other girl at university really, studying, having fun and making friends whilst living in halls. Then in my second year I lived in a flat with two other girls who I’d met in the first year and this is the time I wanted to talk about in this post. The reason is, whilst I didn’t think much of it at the time or for years afterwards, I have recently come to realise that it was my first experience of dominance.

It wasn’t like this before we moved in together but a dynamic gradually built in the days and weeks after the first term started. One of the other girls I was living with, I’ll call her Christine, started to ask me to do things. It was small things like to make a coffee in the morning when she got up or to get her something from the shops while I was out but she never asked the other girl we lived with or our other friends, it was always me.

I kind of liked it, it made me feel like I was her “best” friend and the one she relied on for things. Being young, that was important to me especially as Christine was the prettiest and most popular of our group. As time went on some of these things became routine, for example I was always up before her and made her a coffee and brought it into her room without being asked, at first she thanked me but then she stopped and we both just accepted the routine.

After a few weeks, rather than asking me to get things while I was out she started leaving me little shopping lists, she would go into my room when I was out or even when I was in the shower and leave them on my bed. Despite the agreed rule that we didn’t go into each others rooms without permission this didn’t really apply to her and my room, or to me and her room because I often went in to her room to drop off the things I’d bought for her.

One time I was heading to the laundry room to do my washing and she saw me, she said something along the lines of “Oh would you be a darling and throw some of my things in with yours?”, I said I would and she said to grab them off the floor in her room then she left. I went back to her room and found her laundry basket almost empty and dirty clothes all over the place on the floor. I remember feeling like I should be annoyed but really not being and instead just going round picking up her dirty clothes and underwear (she was a bit of a messy person!) and then taking them to wash with mine. I washed, dried and folded them all before leaving them on the end of her bed. Again, after a few times of asking me to do her washing it became routine, she stopped asking and I just collected her stuff when I did my own.

I honestly didn’t think much about this, we were really good friends and spent most of our free time together and I didn’t mind doing a few chores for her, that’s what friends are for isn’t it? It wasn’t until nearly Christmas that the other girl who lived with us mentioned it when we were alone, she asked if it bothered me that Christine had me doing all of her chores but never did anything for me. I found myself playing how much I did for her down, “It’s only a few things for a friend, I don’t mind helping her, she’s not good with the domestic stuff is she?”. In hindsight I knew she was right but put it out of my mind, I think subconsciously I didn’t want to answer the question of WHY I didn’t mind it.

Remember I was entirely straight at this point in my life, I’d never had any experiences with other girls and didn’t know much about BDSM, I was at the very beginning of finding out about it all. I was also desperate to be “normal”, I’d discovered that I liked pain and that it turned me on but I didn’t want to be that way. Being “normal” was very important to me at this time in my life.

This all continued after Christmas, we hung out a lot and it was completely normal except that I did everything for us. Made the drinks, fetched duvets for us to lay under while watching movies, whatever needed doing I did it but it was purely platonic.

Then Christine started to get a little, well, slutty! She discovered that she liked all the attention she got from guys and started to have some fun with it and when I say “some” I mean “a lot”! There was a student night at a local club and we went every week and most weeks she picked up a guy to bring back to the flat.

The thing is, she didn’t just pick up guys for her. The first time it happened the guy she was chatting up had a friend, he didn’t want to leave his friend and Christine basically guilt tripped me into chatting to his friend so that we could all go home and she could fuck the guy, I ended up drunkenly giving his friend a blow job.

Over the next few months this also became routine, her choosing a guy on a night out and then choosing one for me too. This is the part that I really should have thought was strange at the time, no one else picked up on it because no one else knew except me and her that she was basically choosing men for me and I was going along with it whether I was attracted to the guy or not.

This only went on for a few months and then she seemed to realise that she was sleeping with too many guys and calmed down a bit, which meant my sex life also went back to normal!

One time whilst I was retrieving her dirty laundry from her bedroom floor I found a vibrator under her bed. Of course I had my own vibrator but mine was a tiny bullet one, hers was a rabbit style one and looked huge to me! I took it out and looked at it, put my hand around its girth to see how big it felt, I was definitely wet thinking about it being used. Then I heard a noise and, jumping, I spun around to face the door but there was no one there. I returned the vibrator to it’s place under the bed and left her room.

On my birthday a month later she gave me a lovely bracelet but when I went to bed that night there was an extra package on my bed, it was a rabbit vibrator just like hers. We never discussed it, she never as much as gave me a knowing smile, but we both knew she’d caught me with hers and we both knew what we got up to in our rooms on our own at night!

The following year we lived in a house with three other girls and although I think Christine tried to keep me doing her chores the other girls wouldn’t have it, they called her lazy and despite me saying I didn’t mind they wouldn’t allow me to do as much for her and we ended up becoming less close, still friends in the same group but not as much of a “group within a group”. We kept in touch after I left university but I never spoke with her again after I left London.

I hadn’t thought about her in many years until Mistress and I were talking when I was at home last week. I’d never considered that time to be anything more than girls living together at university but in hindsight I think she basically Domme’d me, but without any sexual element. She had me wrapped around her little finger and I would have done pretty much anything for her and we were both perfectly happy with it. I don’t think she did it intentionally, I think she was naturally dominant and I was naturally submissive and we just fell into it with each other. I do wonder where she is now and whether she ever got into the lifestyle like I have.

This all came as a bit of a revelation to me recently so I thought I’d share it on here with you all, I hope you enjoy learning a little bit more about my past and what makes me the woman I am today!

Another point of view

I met my sub under quite unusual circumstances, I’d been following her exploits for some time via this blog and also through a mutual acquaintance, Hannah. Lois and Hannah knew each other as subs a long time ago but drifted apart after Lois parted ways with her then partner. I met Hannah during that time when she was just starting to switch and have been friends with her through her transformation into a Domme.

My interest in Lois was always fairly detached, I enjoyed reading about her exploits but nothing really more than that and then she sort of dropped off my radar when she broke up with her previous Domme (Kayleigh) and stopped writing as much.

I think at some point during that time she reconnected with Hannah and played with her a bit which in turn brought her back to my attention through my conversations with Hannah.

My opinion of Lois at that time in her life is that she was, without wanting to be cruel, broken. She was running around looking for something to fill the void she was left with when she split with Kayleigh without ever dealing with the hurt she felt from it. She’d either play with anyone who offered her a distraction from her own thoughts, irrelevent of whether she got anything from it or she would bury herself in work to the point that it made her ill. I saw an amazing woman, an amazing masochist going completely to waste and in dire need of control and direction.

That might all seem harsh but if you ask her she will agree, she calls it “spiraling”. She sought crazier and more extreme play as a way to keep “happiness” in her life when she couldn’t find it where she really wanted to. People like Lois, submissive and masochistic people, put a huge amount of trust in another person when they submit to them, they literally give their body to them and usually their heart and soul as well. The break up with Kayleigh was devastating for Lois in a way that I don’t think most people can really understand.

I have spoken with Kayleigh since taking Lois and in her defence, she was young and naive, she didn’t know what she had, she was overwhelmed trying to give Lois what she wanted and to grow herself as a person and she basically ran away. She didn’t realise the profound effect it would have on Lois over the following years. I’m not defending her actions but her own struggles do deserve some consideration.

Anyway, I’ve got completely off track, I am not such an acomplished writer as my sub is.

Through talking to Hannah and following Lois’ blog I began to become more fascinated with Lois and ideas began to form in my head about how I would guide her and train her. How I could harness her masochism and submissiveness to my own will and I have to admit I had a fair few interesting dreams about her.

Eventually I spoke with Hannah about my interest in Lois, it had got to a point that I wanted to play with her. We hatched a plan.

I like to mess with a subs head, it’s not just about the physical for me, I like to ilicit the most extreme emotions in them when I play with them. Lois wrote about the time I made her think I was going to nail her hands to a board. I barely touched her through that whole scene but when I held her afterwards she was shaking uncontrollably, she was in floods of tears and clinging to me like a child. She confessed afterwards she’d experienced a tsunami of emotions at the moment that I’d pulled her into my arms. I loved creating that huge physical and mental reaction in her, and, she asks to borrow my shoes now!

The meeting was carefully orchastrated, I knew of Lois’ plans to have a self torture session in her shed just like everyone else as she had posted all about it on her blog. What Lois likes about self bondage, the way she does it, is the inescapability of it. She has invested a lot of thought in crafting scenarios that are inevitable and I think that is very brave, and possibly foolish! Anyway, I knew she would be locked in a place that I could get to, she would be horny, vunerable and her senses would be hightened.

I sat in my car and watched Lois arrive home from work, looking every bit the normal business woman. When she went inside I moved up to park across from her house where I could see down the side and, vaguely, see her shed. I was wearing all black tight fitting clothes, I’m sure I looked like a burgler or something, it’s fortunate she has no nosey neighbours! I watched as she went to the shed and then returned to the house, then took forever before returning to the shed in a dressing gown.

I left my car and slipped down the side of her house and, as quietly as possible, through the gate and waited in the shadows being careful to position myself so that I wouldn’t be seen if she came back out of the shed. In doing so I was conscious that I was visible from the road, sneaking around is harder work than it looks.

I needed to give her plenty of time get settled into her self bondage scene, it was important for my own plan that she was incapacitated and most importantly blindfolded, before I made my move so once I was sure she was definitely starting I returned to my car and left her to it.

I drove home and spent a couple of hours texting Hannah, I was nervous about how she would react but anxious to get on with it, Hannah suggested leaving it a few hours. Patience is a virtue I usually have in spades and I found it interesting that in this case I was so impatient to get this done.

I arrived back outside her house in the early hours of the morning and parked directly outside her house. There was every chance I’d get caught doing this and had my plan B all ready, basically come clean immediately. I repeated my steps down the side and then with my heart pumping fast and butterflies in my chest, I pulled open the door and stepped inside.

Lois was kneeling in front of me, completely naked and spread wide. Her head was pulled back by the bondage she had put herself in and she had drool dripping from around the gag in her mouth. There were weighted clamps hanging from her nipples and pussy lips and a large ring from her clit. It took me a few seconds to work out what she’d done but then I realised the rope that was holding her head back was also a weighted crotch rope. Her pussy looked red and swollen, and wet, she was quite the sight to behond and it took considerable self restraint not to get involved in this wonderful scene, she looked gorgeous.

She was trying to say something, presumably asking who was there but I couldn’t understand through her gag. I could see her breathing was getting faster, she was freaking out, I smiled. After admiring her handiwork and her body though I stuck to my plan, I bent down close to her holding my breath and then kissed her on the cheek just below her eye leaving a red lipstick mark there so that she’d know that I was female.

She jumped a mile when I kissed her and almost headbutted me, I watched her moaning into her gag, the jerky movement had yanked on her crotch rope and the bricks hanging from it were swinging back and forth, I took pity on her a little and steadied them, then I bent down and took out my lipstick.

I expected this to be difficult, that she wouldn’t stay still while I drew on her chest but after the initial touch of the lipstick she cooperated while I wrote my phone number there. I didn’t know if she was scared or just being submissive but I appreciated her making that easier for me.

When I was done she quite calmly said “who is it” and managed to make it understandable despite the gag, she sounded almost pleading when she said it and it made me smile. I blew her a kiss and left the shed.

I waited outside the shed for at least ten minues, standing silently, to make sure she didn’t freak out so much that she hurt herself trying to get out of her bondage, then I left. I was very excited to have initiated things with her, excited thinking about her still in that shed and in bondage, forced to stay there and think about what had just happened. I imagined her fantasing about who it could be, her pussy dripping with the excitement, the humiliation and the shame of it.

It was a terrible idea.

In hindsight, knowing Lois more intimately and knowing the state of her mind at the time this was a huge mistake and overstep. What I’d intended as a fun and exciting introduction brought back a lot of fears and insecurities she has that I was not aware of at the time.

As planned I didn’t answer her calls straight away, my intention was to keep her guessing for a little longer, maybe call her back when I knew she couldn’t answer and then go silent again when she called back. I wanted her to be desperate and excited to find out who it was.

You should never question Lois’ intelligence or resourcefulness, it only took her a couple of days before she had my name and was yelling at Hannah, and I mean yelling. This was not any meek submissive girl from what I’ve been told, she was furious with Hannah and I felt terrible for damaging their friendship, Hannah was really upset too. She called me and I immediately called Lois.

I won’t go into the detail of that conversation but it started off quite unpleasant but ended in a much more friendly fashion.

A week or so later we went for a meal, Hannah and her sub, myself and Lois. I admit I was quite nervous about meeting her properly, after what had gone on we were hardly on the Domme/sub sort of footing I was hoping we would be so I had no idea how it would go. I was still fairly certain I’d blown any chance with her before we’d even met.

She was dressed a lot more casually than I was, I’d gone for boots and a dress which I think makes me look good and had worn the deep red lipstick that I had drawn on her with, she was in jeans! I don’t have a thing like most male Doms do where subs always have to wear dresses and skirts but this just told me she wasn’t seeing me as potential for dating.

Hannah very craftily motioned Lois into the booth next to her sub and then got in herself so that I would be facing Lois. As soon as we sat down Hannah upped the sexual tension by giving some orders to her sub, basically making her sit and masturbate while the rest of us talked.

I smiled watching the girl squirm and noticed Lois squirming a little herself and it gave me an idea. We all chatted quite civilly for a while, nothing overtly sexual but I was getting a good vibe from Lois and was certainly relaxing so when the food came and Hannah let her sub stop masturbating I suggested that Lois clean her fingers for her.

It was a bit of a risky move, after the drama with our meeting I thought it could go either way but I didn’t see the point in messing around. If she stormed off at least I’d know where we stood and could move on. The girls fingers were coated in her cum and Lois made out like she was going to lick them clean but then wiped them with a napkin at the last moment, I couldn’t help it, a laugh burst out of me.

I’m not sure why I found it so funny, part of me was definitely offended by her lack of respect and her defiance but part of me couldn’t help but be amused. This is because although the act itself was defiant it was plainly obvious that she was trying to make a point and that this was absolutely not her natural instinct or behaviour. I didn’t appreciate Hannah’s sub smirking though and gave her a sterm look, Hannah caned her for it later while I watched.

Hannah gave us a little time on our own later and I was definitely feeling mutual attraction from Lois, she was very attentive when I was speaking and very engaged in the conversation. She has since confessed she was trying to be very “unsubmissive” but I have to say she failed miserably, even if I hadn’t known I would have identified her as a submissive easily.

The night was drawing to a close and I was certain I wanted to spend more time with Lois so I asked and happily she agreed. I felt it was important to understand what I was asking for though so I took her glass of wine and, while she watched, let some saliva run from my mouth into it. A little uncouth I admit but I was improvising with little to work with, as the other two returned I quite serious told her not to disobery me again.

Despite that she didn’t touch her wine and ten minutes later we were getting up to leave. I needed some confirmation that this was going to go the way I wanted so I told Lois to finish her wine, which still had my bubbly spit floating on its surface. This was it for me, if she didn’t drink it I would walk away but she drank it all and the little blushing smile she gave me spoke a thousand words.

Lois was picked up by her sister and the three of us went back to Hannah’s home. After she was caned the sub was sent to bed and Hannah and I spent half the night talking about various things but I kept bringing it back to Lois. I was very excited, more excited than I had been about the scene in a long time. I saw huge potential in her as a sub and knew it would work well with us, we could both give each other what we needed and beyond that I could tell she was an amazing, intelligent, funny person that I could see myself spending a lot of happy time with. I was very excited about our next date.

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, giving my side of those turbulent events at the start. I’m no writer, I don’t have Lois’ skills in that area but hopefully it will come across well enough for her fans to enjoy it at least a little. If you did, let me know in the comments and I will maybe try and write my side of some of her other activities at some point.

Fiona

 

Airport

The other night I had a wonderful last evening with Mistress, we both got home reasonably early from work and I cooked a meal for us both and we talked and drank wine, she let me eat her pussy for dessert and then we moved things to the bedroom.

She got up early with me the next day and drove me to the airport as I was heading back to the States for a couple more weeks to finish up the project I have been working on there. It has been quite hard being away from her for such a long time, we speak every day and have done a fair bit of “sexting” and phone sex but as I’m sure you can imagine, it really isn’t the same!

To help with this I was heading back with two new items in my suitcase, a small vibrator and a vibrating anal plug. Both of these connect to your phone via Bluetooth and can then be controlled by another person from anywhere in the world. You have to love the internet!

Mistress had given me these items in a decorative locking box and had given strict orders for their use. I am to keep the box by the front door of the apartment I am staying in whilst in New York. The first thing I have to do whenever I enter the apartment is to insert both items and the last thing I do before leaving the apartment is remove them and (after washing them) place them back into the box and lock it. That’s a long winded way of saying that whenever I am in the apartment both of my holes will be filled and controlled by Mistress.

Part of Her control over me includes the fact that she has access to my location whenever she wants via the Find my Friends app on our iPhones and, just like at home, she has set up geofences around the apartment and the office that I am working from and she gets notifications on her phone whenever I arrive at or leave those places and consequently she knows when I am plugged.

For those of you that have worn these sorts of toys for long periods you will know that it can become quite uncomfortable and take some time to get used to, I did not sleep well last night despite Mistress putting me to bed with half an hour of intense sensations in both holes and several excellent orgasms! This is probably as much to do with flitting between time zones as having my holes plugged though, which is why I am writing this at 5am.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t entirely eager to be heading back to the States so soon I do really like being at the airport, especially when work is paying for business class and I get to skip queues and use executive lounges! I like looking around the duty free shops and people watching whilst enjoying some breakfast.

I’d done all that and was sitting at the gate when I got a text from Mistress that made my heart beat a little faster! She was telling me to go to the disabled bathroom located next to a gate a few down from mine. It was only fifteen minutes until I was due to board the plane but I picked up my bag and headed to where I’d been told.

I text Mistress back and said “On my way Miss” and she immediately responded saying “Don’t speak to them, just let them do what they want” and well, I was getting quite wet after that! There were other people nearby the door to the disabled toilet so I went up to it and knocked gently, as if I was checking if it was empty, I heard the lock click and I opened the door and slipped inside.

There was a guy in there, I sort of recognised him but I don’t know where from and I know Mistress won’t tell me who it was so there is no point in asking. Anyway he had his jeans undone and his sizeable cock was out and already hard. He grabbed the hair on the back of my head and turned me to face the toilet before bending me over so that my hands rested on the closed toilet seat and my ass was stuck out, I just went with it.

I was wearing a black pencil skirt with stockings underneath held up by a garter belt which was part of the Heidi Klum lingerie set I was wearing that day. He pulled my skirt over my ass exposing the intimate parts of my body within thirty seconds of meeting me and within a minute he had pulled the crotch of my underwear aside and was buried balls deep in my hot wet pussy.

He dug his fingers into my hips as he fucked me for the next three or four minutes and then I felt him tense. I instinctively tensed my pussy muscles around him as he drained his balls into me, I was a long way from my own orgasm still.

He stayed inside me, leaning on my back for a minute and then pulled out but kept his hand on the small of my back, indicating I should stay where I was. I heard him fiddling with his jeans and then he said “thanks” and slipped out of the room. I quickly locked the door behind him and stood up, straightening my underwear to catch anything that might be escaping and checked my appearance in the mirror.

I had a little more colour than I had previously but otherwise didn’t look like I’d just been used as a fleshlight, I straightened my clothes and left the bathroom. Ten minutes later I was in my seat on the plane texting Mistress to tell her that my knickers were soggy with another strangers cum.

I wandered if he’d be on the same flight but I didn’t see him and I in all likelihood I never will again. I have to admit it is a weird feeling when I think about the fact that we’ll only ever have spent less than ten minutes in each others company but we have had sex, something that “normal” people can spend weeks together building up to.

Anyway, I’m off to get a breakfast bagel, when in New York…

Travel

As those of you who follow me on Tumblr will know the reason I am not currently posting is because I have been away in New York for the last three weeks for work, I’m currently home for a few days but am then heading back to the States for another week or two. It sounds glamorous but it really isn’t, it is extremely busy and quite lonely at times.

Whilst away I have had no “fun” that you would be interested in, we had some ideas of things we could do long distance but I’ve been so busy (working twelve hour days, six days a week) that there hasn’t really been any time for it and when I’m not working I’m so tired that Mistress just allows me to rest.

We talk often and we have maintained some of my rules, for instance I dress the same as when at home and wear my day collar out of the apartment I’m staying in and my indoors collar when I’m back there. Mistress has also bought an internet controlled vibrator for me to take back with me when I return to New York in a few days so that should be fun.

She has also told me that she is close to setting up one or two New York based customers for her “blow job service”, so that could be interesting if I can find the time to provide the service to them. I have no idea how she has made these contacts in the US or what kind of people they will be but that is true of the local “customers” as well. It is really quite humiliating when I consider that a recurring part of my life now involves allowing, in fact making complete strangers cum in my mouth and swallowing what they “offer” me. Prior to the last few weeks whilst I have been away there wasn’t a week that passed when I didn’t swallow a strangers cum!

In other news, which may interest some of you, Mistress has begun entertaining offers to assist in my training and use. I have passed several details to her from people on CollarSpace who have asked to use me for her to consider. She really enjoys sharing me with other people and has significantly increased the total number of sexual partners I have had whilst I have been with her.

Basically my standing orders regarding this are, if someone asks to use me I should take their age, location, email address and some detail of what they want to do with me and pass it to Mistress. If she finds their suggestion interesting she will get in contact with them and possibly arrange something. It is a combination of exciting, humiliating and terrifying for me as she decides unilaterally who I will engage in sexual activities with and what those activities will be.

Sorry this is short and sweet, I do hope to write a bit more soon but it all depends on how much time I have over the next few days and weeks.

Foul mouth

As you seemed to like reading about my little public correction, and as I only have time to write something short, I thought you might like to read about another time when Mistress Fiona felt the need to correct my behaviour.

I very rarely swear (or “curse” if you’re in the US), I used to be quite bad with it but I learnt to express my emotions more eloquently as I grew up and started working. However, the one time when I struggle with this is when I am playing games.

To be honest I rarely have time to do this anymore but on occasion I find myself with enough time to sit down and actually turn my Xbox on.

About a month ago I was playing a game, I can’t even remember what it was now, and I was stuck on one particular part of it. I died for the thousandth time and I shouted (I distinctly remember this part!) “Fuck you mother fucking cunt!”. Approximately ten seconds later, by which time I was playing again, Mistress entered the room quietly and out of my field of vision and said “Excuse me?”.

I immediately blushed, she absolutely hates hearing me swear, she says that it is “inappropriate for someone of your intelligence” and that “if you don’t have the vocabulary to express yourself appropriately then you should hold your tongue”. I hadn’t actually known she was in the house so thought I could express my feelings about the game in any way I wanted, I was incorrect!

At first I thought I’d got away with it because she left the room and I just continued to play my game, however five minutes later she returned with a ring gag. She came up behind me and I obediently opened my mouth so she could slip it in, She knew that I knew what I was being punished for so there was no need for any explanation, she pulled the straps tight and buckled them behind my head and I heard the little padlock close in the clasp. I was going to have an achy jaw and was definitely going to be dribbling in about five minutes but all-in-all I didn’t think it was too bad of a punishment.

Then she walked round in front of me and gestured for me to pause the game, which I did and she crouched in front of me. She brought something put to my mouth and I realise just as wedged it into the ring of the gag that it was a bar of soap that she had cut so that it would fit into and stay in the gag.

For those of you that have never tasted soap, it’s not a disgusting “get it out of my mouth immediately” kind of thing but it is definitely not a pleasant taste or sensation that it creates in your mouth. She left me to continue playing my game with the soap gag in but after about five minutes my saliva was turning into bubbly soap suds and pouring down my chin, I had to stop playing and go to the kitchen to stand over the sink.

Once I’d got rid of enough soapy spit so that it wasn’t dripping everywhere I went in to the room where Mistress was reading in the hope that she would take pity on me but she merely held up her phone which had a countdown on the screen with forty-eight minutes remaining.

I spent most of that time leaning over the sink drooling soap suds and trying to keep from drooling onto my hair or my clothes. Eventually Mistress came into the kitchen and unlocked the gag, she helped me pull it from between my aching jaws and then dropped it in the sink before turning and leaving. I eagerly washed my mouth out with water and then drank some, I could still very strongly taste soap though and would for a couple of hours.

Once I’d cleaned up the gag and put it away I went back into the room where Mistress was reading, knelt in front of her and said “Thank you for teaching me Mistress”, after about a minute she put her hand on my head and pulled it until I was resting my head on her thigh and then stroked my hair while I cuddled her leg for the next hour.

Being a masochist it can be difficult for Dominants to find ways to punish me, the usual things like spankings for example are enjoyable to me and so aren’t a punishment at all. Mistress is very good at finding ways to punish me that actually work to correct any behaviour I display that she doesn’t like and whilst soaping the mouth is hardly original she did use it very effectively in this case, I am very mindful of swearing whilst playing games now because I genuinely do not want to experience that again!

Please let me know in the comments if you enjoy these sorts of posts, it is sometimes hard for me to know what to write about so it would be helpful to know what are your favourite types of my musings!

Immediate correction

One of the things that Mistress says I “let slide” whilst I was single is my discipline towards my Dominants and it is something she has concentrated training on. Usually this comes in the form of what she terms “immediate correction” although that can come in many forms, for example humiliation or…pain. 

A couple of weeks ago I was out shopping with Mistress, we were in a well known (in the UK) high street shop and She was looking at some clothes. I honestly can’t remember what I said to her now but it was some off-hand sarcastic comment at her expense. This is part of my personality, I can be very “cheeky” and often use sarcasm especially with my friends. I have to mentally keep this in check when speaking to Mistress especially when in public as she considers it highly inappropriate for me not to speak to her respectfully in public. 

I knew I’d slipped up as soon as I spoke, her demener changed from casually browsing clothes to focussing directly on me, she walked over and said “What did you say?”, I blushed and looked at my feet but she pushed my chin up with her finger and I repeated what I’d said. She told me to spread my legs which I did despite being conscious of other people being close to us, although the clothes racks hid us well. As I spread my legs slipped my skirt up a little and then with no warning kneed me in the pussy.

The combination of the unexpectedness of it and the pain buckled my knees and I basically fell into Mistress clutching my pussy with one hand, she hugged me and held me tight and stroked my hair for at least a couple of minutes until I was ready. She asked if I was ok and I nodded so she let me go and continued shopping, nothing more was said but my pussy throbbed for the rest of the shopping trip and I was respectful every time I spoke to Mistress. 

Service

Something which I have mentioned in passing but haven’t really gone into in detail yet is that Mistress Fiona enjoys sharing me with other people. We have discussed it at length and it is a little contradictory because when we got together I insisted on her committing only to me after she had previously been playing with a couple on a regular basis.

However, those conditions have relaxed slightly since we have grown closer, I’ve watched her have sex with a man on one occasion and she has repeatedly allowed other people to use me sexually. However, only males, she knows that emotionally I am all about women and so it is only men that she allows to use me in this way.

It’s not just that she is allowing others to use me either, this is one of her fetishes, she enjoys “loaning” me out purely for the sexual gratification of others and she has even talked about setting me up as a high end escort and her being my handler or pimp. Realistically though I don’t think that would be practical on a personal level or in fact that easy, I don’t think its a simple business to get into!

What has become a fairly consistent part of my life though is what I can only describe as a blow job service! It started a few months ago when one day Mistress unexpectedly took me to visit several different men whilst handcuffed and blindfolded and had me suck their cocks until they came in my mouth and then swallow it, I swallowed ten loads of strangers cum that day.

There was no explanation of how this came about, the only information I got was that the men ranged in age between 18 and 68, where from multiple ethnicities and that one was a pre-op transsexual. She also told me that the following week we would be doing the same thing except for women. That isn’t what happened through, a few days later she told me that for the foreseeable future those ten men would get to enjoy my mouth whenever they chose, although at Mistresses discretion.

The process is, they contact Mistress requesting my mouth, she organises a time and place and sends me the details, I go to that place at the requested time and suck them to completion. This has now happened a total of seven times with five different “clients”.

It usually happens when I am at work either shortly before lunch time or before the end of work but it also happened once when I was out with some friends. I’ll describe a couple of these occasions…

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Car Park
This was the first time, the text arrived at 11:32 said “Grafton Centre west car park, last space on the left on the top level, grey merc, 12:45, don’t embarrass me”. The Grafton Centre is a large shopping centre (aka mall) in Cambridge which has a multi story car park and a smaller open one on two levels.

I arrived at the car park at 12:40 and walked up the stairs to the top level, I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by “left”, that would depend on which way you faced, but as I walked through the car park I could see a red car in one end space and a grey Mercedes in in the other. I walked past several people on my way to the car and several cars drove past, it isn’t a quiet car park!

As I approached I could see an older man in the car wearing a dark grey expensive looking suit. His hair was dark but was well on its way to going grey at the sides, my heart was racing but I walked up to the passenger door and got in as if I was supposed to be there.

I turned to him and he was looking me up and down then he gestured towards his groin and said “Well?”. I blushed, as I do, then put my bag and and leaned over. It was a little difficult to extract his cock through his fly because he was already quite hard but I managed it and took it into my mouth to start my work.

After about two minutes he said “Look at me”, I turned to look up at him with his cock still in my mouth and he took a picture with his phone. I knew this wouldn’t have happened without Mistresses permission so I just turned back and continued sucking until he grunted and filled my mouth with his salty cum.

I slid my mouth off his cock and swallowed it, then went back to his cock to make sure it was clean, finally I carefully replaced it in his pants and zipped them back up. Almost as soon as I sat back up he said “You can go” so without any ceremony I collected my bag and got out of the car. I walked to the exit without looking back and went to buy something more substantial to eat before i had to go back to work.

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Alley
I was out with four friends a meal and then some drinks, we’d been to a restaurant and were on our second round of drinks in a bar in town when I got the text. “Alley behind ***** in ten minutes, white shirt with a red strip down the back”.

I was a little shocked to be honest, this was the forth time I’d got a text of this nature and all the others were in work time, this was while I was with friends! I told my friends that I had to go and call Fiona and wouldn’t be long, my friends don’t know the nature of my relationship with Mistress but they have noticed how “attentive” I am to her and often joke about it so I don’t think they thought much of it.

I left the bar and walked as quickly as I could to the specified venue and down the alleyway that lead behind it, it was quite badly lit and was a little daunting until I saw the outline of a man wearing the red and white shirt Mistress had described. He heard me approaching and turned to look at me, a wide smile on his face.

He was very young, clearly the bottom of the age range Mistress had given me and he had all the confidence of a male of that age. He leaned on the wall behind him and opened his jeans pulling out his cock, it was quite big and almost fully hard already. I tried to sink to my knees with some grace, spreading my knees on the cold hard concrete and then gripped the base of his cock with one hand and took his cock in my mouth.

I sucked on the head of his cock and ran my hand up and down him for a minute or so and then he grabbed my wrist and pulled it to the back of my neck before reaching down and gesturing for me to give him my other wrist, I did and he held them tightly with one hand whilst I serviced him with my mouth.

I was in this position when he took the photo, I’d got used to this now and know the photo is immediately sent to Mistress who has an album on her phone with a photo from every meeting in it.

He only lasted about another minute and then thrust his cock deeper and came into my throat, I managed not to gag immediately and then as he removed his cock it pull the cum more into my mouth and I was able to swallow it properly, much to his delight.

After putting his own cock away he helped me to my feet, very chivalrous, and then gestured for me to leave first. Once again I didn’t look back as I walked back tot he street and to the bar where my friends complained about how long I’d been and insisted I get the next round of drinks.

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I think people will think it quite strange that two women in a same sex relationship would engage in something like this but it really is something that serves our needs as much as the men that are involved. We never discuss it afterwards but whenever I’ve done it Mistresses is super turned on when I get home and we have some amazing sex. It is a turn on for me to be used in this very impersonal way by people that I don’t know and I love the spontaneity of it and the control Mistresses exercises over me with it.

Our relationship has very quickly become extremely comfortable but also multifaceted and I really love it, there is never a dull moment and I think the dynamic is really working well for both of us, I really can’t imagine not being with her anymore.

FFS

If you follow my Tumblr you might be aware that I had to go on a six hour round trip yesterday just to notarise a document. Anyway, thanks for those that chatted with me and kept me entertained on the journey.

The journey required me to travel into London and then get a different train to my destination and then do the reverse to come home and as I got off the train at Euston I dropped my phone and it bounced off the back of the girl in front of me and went down the gap between the train and the platform!

I was thinking “omg, what the do I do?”. Anyway I spoke to a guard and he said they couldn’t get it immediately, they’d have to wait for someone to be able to go onto the tracks and get it later, probably overnight. So reluctantly I gave them my details and went and got my other train home sans phone. I had to give them my email address because I literally don’t know anybodies phone number anymore, not even Mistresses.

I got an email this morning and they have the phone, the screen is smashed of course, the edge is all damaged and it doesn’t turn on (although the battery was almost dead so it probably just needs charging). My poor phone! So now I have to go all the way back to London to get it and then take it to an Apple store to get it fixed, and I can’t get an appointment there for days, it’s a complete nightmare! Mistress says she won’t let me have nice things if I don’t look after them!

So anyway, not an interesting post probably but venting helps!

Oh, and the guard also said that I shouldn’t really have been texting whilst carrying two bags, a coat and getting off a train anyway. Yeah thanks for that!

Thoughts for the day

I went to bed last night quite happy despite having posted a fully naked picture of myself online and having only eaten porridge and drank water for every meal that day. Posting a picture of myself was a huge deal for me as anyone who reads my blog will know but it got a generally good response which buoyed my feelings on it.

I won’t up in a less good mood, I drink a lot of caffeine, possibly too much, and after drinking only water all day yesterday I was hit with the caffeine withdrawal this morning and had a bad headache. I dutifully had my horribly bland and mushy porridge and started working and then my day got even worse.

My heart absolutely sank when I saw the messages accusing me of posting a fake picture. I’ve spent years writing on this blog and posting on Tumblr and have built up, I think, some good credibility that I am who I say I am and do the things I say I do, all without posting pictures of myself. So when I finally do and that is what causes people to question my legitimacy it really hurt me feelings, I was really quite upset.

Having calmed down a bit about it I can see what people mean about the picture, there is a part of my shoulder missing and there is fuzziness around my head where the photos were edited out by Mistresses friend. It didn’t show up so much on my phone but when I looked at it blown up on a computer it was more noticeable, if I’d known I wouldn’t have posted it.

I hope Mistresses post from earlier today alleviates any fears that I’ve been deceiving you for all these years, because I would be devastated if this caused people to stop believing in me, I really would.

In other news, I HATE porridge! I only get to make it with porridge oats and hot water, nothing else and its disgustingly bland and ugh, I hate you all for putting me through this!