Some advice please?

Sometimes things just come to me and then I can’t get them out of my head until I do them. The latest one of these is a desire to be electrocuted on my pussy but not just a quick shock or a pulse from a tens unit, like a really strong severe shock until I pass out from it, literally!

The problem is tasers and stun guns and cattle prods are illegal here as far as I know and I don’t know what else could be effective. Also I don’t know enough about watts and amps and volts to know what is safe. I know you can have one high and not cause serious harm if the other is low but I’m not sure of any more detail than that.

So any advice would be welcome, I’m not averse to building my own toy to achieve this (by which I mean Mistress having someone else build it!) unless it takes too long in which case I might have moved on to something else!

Anyway, that’s today’s thought!

An email

The following is an email I received in response to a query I made of an acquaintance of Fiona’s:

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Lois (and Fiona),

The insertion of an NG Tube carries many potential problems, the insertion of multiple NG tubes will carry additional complications and I would strongly advise against anyone but a very experienced medical professional carrying out such a procedure, especially with the larger variant of tube.

The main risk I see is damage to the pharynx or oesophagus especially during the insertion of the second tube but as I mentioned, a medical professional will be able to mitigate that risk. Once the tube(s) are inserted the main issue, baring in mind your stated objective, is vomiting. Vomiting with an NG tube inserted could cause serious complications and the tube(s) should be removed immediately if it occurs, you should be monitored throughout your proposed scene for this reason.

To reduce the chance of vomiting I would advise building a tolerance to the urine, especially stronger urine, by drinking your own daily and gradually increasing the volume as you approach the day of the scene, it may also be beneficial to take some over the counter anti sickness tablets directly before the scene. During the scene it may be a good idea to wear a loosely fitting posture collar as it will help keep your neck straight, which is important.

Good luck.

Regards
Dr xxxxx xxxxxxxx

NG Tubes

A nasogastric tube is a narrow bore tube passed into the stomach via the nose. It is used for short or medium term nutritional support toilet duty.

The use of a nasogastric tube is suitable for enteral feeding for up to six weeks human toilets for up to eight hours. Polyurethane or silicone feeding tubes are unaffected by gastric acid and can therefore remain in the stomach for a longer period than PVC tubes, which can only be used for up to two weeks.

Self torture plan

Last week I was feeling 1) brave, 2) horny and 3) masochistic and came up with an interesting predicament bondage situation for myself. It started off simple, give myself a large enema (enough to distend my stomach) and then insert my locking anal plug (wrapped in a condom and with Vaseline applied to create a seal) and lock it for the maximum my timer locks will do, which is eight hours.

Eight hours is a looooong time to hold any enema, never mind a large one (I was thinking a few litres) so by the end I would be in a lot of pain from severe cramping and whatever other discomfort it produces. So then I thought it would be interesting to be in bondage for the whole time as well, maybe somewhere uncomfortable like my garden shed overnight, I’ve done bondage in the shed before and have eyelets mounted around it for bondage.

Then, I mentioned I was feeling masochistic, I wondered what would happen if I attached pads from a tens unit on to my stomach and set it on a slow pulse so that every so often it would shock me and cause my stomach muscles to tense which I presume would force the enema to move around inside me.

One of the things that really turns me on is putting myself into some situation, some torture that I am unable to escape no matter how bad it gets. I know I will get out eventually (after eight hours in this case) but it could be truly unbearable until then, I want to get an hour in and regret starting it, I want it to be too much.

So as it happens I am still feeling quite masochistic and horny, my sister will be staying away on Thursday night and I am working from home on Friday, it almost feels like the Universe wants me to do it and I am thinking of putting the plan into action.

I have an idea of how I could be bound but am open to suggestions, I also thought it would be fun to see if anyone has any good suggestions for one further torment for me to endure whilst I hold the enema so feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments over the next couple of days.

Blind date (part 2)

My sincere apologies that I didn’t managed to finished writing about this before I went away, there were a few pre-holiday complications and I ended up spending most of the day on the phone rather than writing about this which would have been much more interesting!

My holiday was fabulous, a really fun and interesting trip and just the break I needed, I feel much calmer and happier for it. The following is a continuation of this post…

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This was definitely a first, I’ve never cum whilst being submerged in water before and it was amazing and scary all at once. At first the wave of pleasure rolled over me just as it always does, starting in my pussy and my head simultaneously and radiating through my body right to the tips of my fingers and toes as I moan. Only this time when I moaned my mouth filled with cold water and the warm pleasure of my orgasm mixed with panic as I began to thrash and try to get my head out of the water in vain.

He kept my head held firmly under the water though and all pleasure from my orgasm evaporated as my lungs began to burn and I realised I couldn’t stop myself from drowning. As I realised this there was a sharp pain in my head as he dragged me up out of the water by my pony tail and I gasped in air trying to refill my lungs. As I started to come round a little from my panic I noticed the tingling after glow from the previous pleasure and began to be reminded of the pain of the clamps on my nipples and from being held up only by my hair.

I barely had time to acknowledge these thoughts though before he plunged me back under the water. I didn’t have a burgeoning orgasm to distract me this time but I was oddly calmer. I think I realised he wasn’t going to drown me the second time and I just went with it, holding my breathe as long as I could and then letting it out slowly until my lungs were empty and I started to feel lightheaded again, then I started to panic again and despite resolving not to I thrashed to try and get my head above the water again.

People say that drowning is a very relaxing way to die and that you just drift off, that is not my impression after experiencing the early stages of it. There was no relaxing, once I felt like I was drowning my body just took over trying to save itself and the only thing that mattered was air, relaxed I was not!

There were two more faux drownings after that, leaving me in longer each time and giving me less time to recover between each submersion. By the time he lifted me out of the water and dumped me on the floor I was a wreck, shaking from the cold and the adrenaline gasping in air as fast as I could. Whilst I was still on the floor recovering he released my leg cuffs but reattached the padlock to my wrist cuffs, my legs fell to the floor aching but I was still concentrating on breathing when he pushed his cock deep into my pussy.

He was huge, I’ve been with plenty of guys with various sized cocks but I think this is the biggest I’ve every had. He knelt either side of my splayed legs and lifted my hips, then I briefly felt his tip rub over my clit before he parted my lips and plunged into me. The water helped but I think I was also pretty wet and he wasn’t gentle, his cock rammed up into me and I felt the uncomfortable sensation of him pushing into my cervix just before he pulled back and rammed into me again.

There was no messing around, he obviously enjoyed drowning me a lot because he was rock hard and really fucking me hard with no interest in waiting for me to join in. He didn’t last long, I must have felt really tight on him considering how big he felt to me and about a minute later he rammed into me and I felt his warm cum filling me just before he vacated my cunt and dropped my hips to the floor. He must have barely cum before pulling out of me because I felt his seed run down my pussy as he exited and felt it drip onto my ass and back as he stepped over me.

I lay there for a few minutes, happy for the time to recover a little composure but very horny as I had been close to orgasm when he finished leaving me empty and wanting. When he returned he pulled me up by my hair again but this time I was able to clamber to my feet with my legs freed, he grabbed the chain still attached to my nipple and pulled me along but I screamed as he ripped the clamps straight off my nipples and I felt the exquisite agony of the blood rushing back into them, almost immediately he was in front of me grabbing my nipples and digging his nails into them while I squirmed and gritted my teeth, all the while my pussy getting hotter and wetter.

Not being able to see is very disorienting, I had no idea where I was in the room and every time he moved me I thought I was about to crash into something. As he dragged me over to the bed I could feel his cum dripping out of me and then I fell over his foot and thought I was going face first into the floor but instead landed with my upper body on the bed and my knees on the floor.

I meant to mention at the start but forgot, the bed was an ancient metal framed thing which was once gold coloured but all of gold coating had worn away so it was now mostly grey metal. The mattress was far from comfortable and the sheets looked like they had been washed a few million times. The most positive thing to say about it was that the metal headboard had plenty of roping points.

He had apparently already tied a rope to the headboard because I felt it fall on my back as he threaded it through the padlock holding my wrists together, then he pulled it and my arms were pulled up away from my back and towards the head of the bed into a very awkward and painful position and then he tied off the rope. It was a very clever way to tie me, any movement caused a lot of pain in my arms and shoulders so he’d effectively immobilised me with one rope.

Now that I couldn’t move I jumped when I felt the metal scissors on my back but he was just butting the waistband of my thong so he could pull the ruined garment away, then he used them to wipe away the mess that was dripping from my pussy. There was a moment of nothing and then he told me to open my mouth and predictably the cummy underwear went in before he pushed my chin up and tape was securely sealed my lips. It was a few seconds before I tasted whatever he had smeared on the material, it was a horrendous taste and I tried to push the thong out with my tongue but the tape was strong and I couldn’t part my lips, I could hear him laughing as I moaned trying to get him to remove it before I was sick but he didn’t and I managed to hold it back.

I felt him kneel beside me just before I felt his hands on me, running up my thighs and spreading my legs, his fingers pushing into my pussy and then into my ass as well before withdrawing so he could run his hands up my back and under me to cup and massage my breasts. It’s weird considering he had just fucked me but this was by far the most invasive thing he had done to me so far, his hands probed every part of my body and it felt very personal and intimate in a way that made me feel very violated, then it got worse.

His hair tickled my inner thighs and then his nose gently brushed my lips before his tongue parted them and ran over my clit, dipped into my hole and then over my perineum to my asshole. He ran his tongue around my rear hole for a good couple of minutes before he began to work it into me.

I’ve always considered analingus (or rimming) to be a submissive act but he really managed to turn those tables. With the position I was in, being bound, blindfolded and exposed and with him being a complete stranger to me, the fact he had his tongue pushed deep into my most personal area felt very violating and degrading, it was like he was saying “I will do whatever I want with your body and there is nothing you can do about it”.

As he continued to tongue my ass he slid two fingers into my pussy and to my shame I was dripping wet, he easily slid a third finger in and began fucking my pussy with his hand, building me up again until I biting down on the foul tasting material in my mouth as I came with his tongue in my ass and hand stretching my cunt.

Whilst he was off doing something and I recovered from my orgasm I found I had to swallow an excess of saliva that was being generated in my gagged mouth, and that whatever was on the gag had given my spit the same vile taste as the thong and I struggled not to gag as I swallowed it.

I screamed more from surprise than pain as something hit my ass with serious force, the gag prevented much noise from escaping though even when the second blow landed and my brain started to catch on to the sensation coming from my ass. I think it was a cane based on the marks I had the next day, he was relentless with it whatever it was and rained down blows all over my ass which was raw and burning almost immediately. He kept on hitting me over and over again for a long time, no asking me to count, no requests of me, just a sustained beating of my ass that had tears soaking the inside of my eye patches. Amazingly I would find out the next day that the skin was never broken although my ass was a mess and sitting is still a little uncomfortable a week and half later.

When he finally stopped I could hear him panting from the exertion, it must have been quite tiring swinging the cane for such a long period of time, I know it was exhausting to be on the other end of it. I think he sat down for a bit in the chair opposite the bed, it felt like he was staring at me and it made me feel exposed and vulnerable.

If that is what he was doing he obviously liked what he saw because a few minutes later his hard cock pushed between my ass cheeks and found my tight little hole. I think he must have lubed himself because he managed to get the head into me with relative ease and then he just put all his weight behind pushing the rest of himself inside me.

Like I said before he has a large cock and my ass is fairly tight but that didn’t stop his burying it in me until his balls rested against my pussy. I felt like my ass would rip, I’ve never felt so full in my ass before and it was equal parts amazing and agonising, if you’ve never had anything up your ass then it’s hard to describe but it is certainly a unique feeling to be so deeply and fully fucked in there.

He held himself fully inserted for a minute and then began to thrust, I thought he might be more gentle this time but that clearly wasn’t his thing, he began the same rhythm of hard deep thrusts that he had used on my pussy and I moaned into the gag whilst he truly did violate me ass until he came in me for the second time. Just like before he painfully pulled his cock out of me as soon as he came leaving me empty and wanting.

Once again I was left alone for a few minutes and then I felt him tying rope around my leg, just above my knee, then the same on the other leg and then my legs were pulled apart by the rope as he pulled them around the legs of the bed and tied them off. This caused me knees to be spread wider meaning making for a more uncomfortable position but also made me lower down which put more pressure on my arms. He then reach between my legs and I could feel a slight tugging on my large clit ring then it was pulled hard away from me which was so agonisingly painful I can’t describe it. I shouted into the gag and shook my head but he removed his arms and I realised he tied my clit ring to the bed with it pulled in a horrendous way.

I stopped screaming at him when I heard the door shut and then heard only silence.

I assumed he wouldn’t be gone long but after what I guessed was twenty minutes I wasn’t so sure, I found that if I slid my body a little downwards I could relieve some of the pull on my clit which was a lot more bearable. The problem was it put extra pressure on my arms and shoulders but it was worth it to relieve it on my poor little clit.

It seemed like he was gone for hours but in fact I think it was about one hour, the door opened and I turned my head even though I couldn’t actually look at him, I did hear what I thought was a carrier bag though.

His hands were on me again then, groping all over my body in the possessive way that he had done before, probing my wet used holes, he scooped some cum out of my ass with his finger and wiped it on the tape just below my nose so I was treated to the mixed scent of ass and cum then he came close to my ear.

He said “I’m tired now cunt. I’m going to get into this bed and sleep for a while and if you wake me up you will really regret it.” I nodded resigning myself to staying in this painful position for the next few hours and then I felt his hands on me again.

He placed a hand on each of my ass cheeks and I felt they were wet, he ran them all over my ass then down between my cheeks and pushed a finger into my rear hole. The burning started about that time, I’ve no idea what he put on my but it stung horrendously on my caned ass and ass he ran his hands over more places the burning spread to them. He continued from my asshole down between my pussy lips coating my pussy inside and out with the substance until both my pussy and ass were on fire. The last thing he did was to run a finger over my outstretched exposed clit.

I vaguely remember the bed moving as he climbed onto it and definitely heard him laughing as I writhed below his feet.My tearful eyes were wide open behind the patches as I tried not to scream into the gag, I didn’t want to keep him awake and incur a worse fate but it was incredibly difficult when my most sensitive parts burned so severely that I genuinely feared that damage was being done.

The next hour was horrendous, the burning was intense and the position painful and uncomfortable. Any attempt to change position just made it worse for one part of me or another and I ended up retreating to how I was before.

The burning eventually began to fade but the strains on my body continued for the rest of the night and by the time I heard him begin to stir my limbs were painfully numb (if that makes any sense at all) and I was covered in a layer of sweat. He made no effort to talk to me as he climbed out of bed and came round to me.

He undid my clit ring first, then each of my legs and then my arms, when he did those I basically just collapsed to the floor and listened to him chuckling. He ripped off the tape and I spat out the ruined thong and achingly moved my jaw around. It was hard to move my arms and pain shot through them as I forced them back to a normal position eventually getting my body into a foetal position where I stayed until he pulled me up by my pony tail.

My hair was pulled tightly as he led me into the bathroom and into the bath on my knees, I thought he would make me swallow his piss but instead he just let it go in my face and let his dark yellow morning pee run all over my head and hair.

When he was done he pulled out back out of the bath by my hair and walked me into the bedroom again, he padlocked my wrists behind me again and then walked me a bit further. He pinched my left nipple and then a very tight clamp was placed on and I bit my lip to avoid making a noise, then the same on my other nipple. The clamps were the metal teeth of an old wooden coat hanger with clamps to hang trousers from and he let it hang from my nipples twisting them harshly. Then he pulled me forward and then yanked it upward, making me catch my breath, and then obviously hung it from the rail.

I didn’t need to go on tip toes but at the same time I couldn’t stand flat without pulling on my already tightly crushed nipples so I sort of hovered in between whilst he went to the toilet and had a shower before messing around in the room packing his things.

Finally he came and unhooked the hanger and led me by a few steps before forcing me to my knees and pushing his cock into my mouth. I sucked him like a good slut despite the lack of the use of my hands, he filled my mouth and pushed into my throat sometimes but he didn’t cum in the last of my holes. Instead he pulled me over to the bad and laid on it pulling me by the hanger until I straddled him and then guided himself to my pussy before saying “do it slowly and enjoy it”.

I nodded and gently slid down onto him, his thick cock filling me deliciously as I pushed down until my clit ring lay on him. It was tough on my legs without the use of my arms but I slowly fucked him and to be honest it felt amazing, I kept it slow and steady for a good ten minutes until his hands on my hips told me to speed up and then he quickly came inside me again. I’d kept them quiet but I’d already come a couple of times from the fullness and grinding myself into him on the downward thrusts.

When he came he grabbed the hanged and yanked it, I think he intended to rip it off but the clamps were too tight and I ended up just falling on him. He left me there for a minutes and then rolled me off him and led me, again by the hanger, into the bathroom. He knelt me down on the floor and then used my pony tail to bend me over pushing my head down until I realised he was pushing my head into the toilet and the smell told me immediately it hadn’t been flushed.

I heard him cough up phlegm and then spit and felt it go in my hair, then he closed the seat as best he could with my head in it and then I heard the sound of tape as he wrapped it around me and the seat. He unlocked the padlock on my cuffs and then the last thing I heard was the door to the room opening and closing.

Even with my arms free it took me about twenty minutes to get the tape off and free myself from the toilet. When I had I flushed it and then sat back on the floor and undid all four of my cuffs before eventually dragging myself off the floor and heading for the bed, I was so tired.

I climbed into bed but then had to jump out again, he’d scattered a load of drawing pins (thumbs tacks) under the covers and several were now stuck in my thigh, I brushed them off and brushed them out of the bed and climbed in. I peeled the patches off my eyes and blinked as even the low light seemed bright, then closed my eyes and went to sleep.

I woke up a couple of hours later when I rolled over and drawing pin stuck into my stomach. I got up, showered and tidied the room before I left and headed home.

 

The one where…

Vote as many times as you like….

Bad idea

You know when something seems like a good idea at the time but then later you really regret it?

I went through a phase a couple of months ago when the idea of being locked in my chastity belt for an extended period of time really excited me, I literally dreamed about it every night. In fact I was so obsessed with it that I sought out a way to make it happen and me being me I wanted to make sure that escape would not be a simple matter.

I had recently reconnected with a sub girl that I used to know, called Hannah, who had recently been having a few switchy feelings going on and chastity happened to come up so I told her about my desires for true chastity without having a partner to hold the key. Predictably she offered to be the key holder but I wanted a bit more than that, I knew that if I really begged she would release me and that knowledge would detract from the experience I was seeking.

We discussed different ideas and eventually we came up with a plan which could actually work, my friend went off to look into it and report back. In the mean time my obsession with chastity had no abated but I had started the agreement that I described in my last post. After a couple of weeks she came back and declared that the plan would work and she would help me to put it into action but that it would take some time, I was delighted!

What was the plan you ask? It’s a little long-winded so bear with me…

Well first off I needed to purchase a little eight digit digital safe, that I have done and given it to her. She would then write down eight random numbers, program the door of the safe with those numbers and then leave it open. The piece of paper with the code on would then go into a sealed envelope.

On her next trip around the UK Hannah will find a long-term storage locker at train station or a safe deposit box or whatever. Somewhere she can lock something up and have a key to get at it later. This required a significant amount of research on her part!

Once she had located somewhere to stash it she would put the envelope inside and take the key home. You can probably see where this is going at this point but I’ve started so I’ll finish.

Apparently not all of these things have actual keys, some have codes, some require you to show a ticket, I will just refer to all these as keys to make life simpler. So next time she goes away she will take the “key” with her and wherever she is this time she will find another place to store something and in there she will put the key plus an envelope describing on what and where the key can be used. Then, she’ll have another key to stash…

The plan was that she would follow this process at least three times but in one of my more masochistic moments I suggested we should not put a maximum limit on how many times she would repeat it. I would leave that decision to her and from that moment on I would be submissive in this endeavor.

So that agreement was made several weeks ago now and she has refused to give me any more information on her efforts since then except nearly two weeks ago when she told me she was almost done setting it all up, by which time my obsession with this plan had waned somewhat! I made an attempt to get out of it, I told my new “fuck buddy” about it but he loved the idea and said that my mouth could satisfy his cock just fine and that he’d like to see what would happen if I could get any relief for a while. Having failed there I called Hannah and told her that I wasn’t so up for the idea anymore.

It turns out that in the weeks she had been setting things up Hannah had gone from a very much 50-50 switch to leaning very much toward being a Domme! She told me in no uncertain terms that I was NOT getting out of it, that she had put a lot of effort into organizing it and that now I would do as I was told! I have to admit, I was really quite wet when she ended that call with me in mid sentence.

That brings you up to date on my impending doom. Any day now she is going to call and tell me to come to her flat with my belt, which is an hours drive away. She’ll give me a brand new padlock and tell me to put on the belt, then I’ll have to put the keys in the safe and lock it, then she will give me an envelope containing a key and a location and my “adventure” will have begun.

Hannah is always away, she travels literally all over the UK (and Ireland) for work so these keys could be stashed anywhere, I do some travelling for work but mainly I work in Cambridge these days so I will only really be able to travel at the weekend to follow my little treasure hunt which means I could possibly get two in a weekend which means I will be in the belt for AT LEAST one full week and depending on how cruel she has been I could be in it for a lot longer.

Those who have been reading for a while will remember that I wore the belt for a week once, it was hell, I was going crazy by the end. Just to put this in perspective I have quite a high sex drive, I make myself cum at least once a day and often more than that. This belt, that I spent a fortune on (why?), is exceptionally effective. It is made to measure, it fits like a glove and it works perfectly. I need clitoral stimulation to cum almost every time, the only times I have cum without it (that I can remember anyway) were from vigorous penetration, neither of which are even remotely possible in this chastity belt.

So there you have it, my bad idea is coming back to haunt me big time,I can’t get out of it and I am truly dreading it!

Tall dark stranger (part 1)

After a long train ride and a short taxi ride I was dropped off at the end of a small cul-de-sac, I walked down the road and found number six half way down on the right. It is a medium sized detached house, nothing special but perfectly nice, I could already see a note on the front door.

I was wearing a knee length blue skirt, a pink vest top and a thigh length coat over the top. Underneath I was wearing a black lace thong and matching bra and on my feet I had some blue heels, not too high. Finally I had a black cotton scarf draped around my neck. Basically I was dressed exactly as I had been asked to dress, to the letter.

I walked up the driveway as confidently as I could with my heart beating so fast in my chest and then read the note on the door, it said: “Lois, by entering my house you are confirming our agreement that I can do whatever I like with you until you leave tomorrow, no limits (other than what we have discussed) and no safe words. If you are happy to proceed, use your scarf to blindfold yourself and then knock on the door. I will bring you inside, put you on your knees and fuck your mouth, you will swallow all my cum. I will then lock you in a small box for between one and five hours, you will not be able to move inside the box. If this note or anything else has changed your mind then this is your last chance, leave now and do not contact me again.”.

It had been quite a while since I had a cock in my mouth and longer since I had swallowed and cum but I figured it’s like riding a bike, the up to five hours cramped in a box really didn’t seem appealing though, did I really want to go through that with a virtual stranger? Would it be worth it?

I decided it would and tied my scarf around my eyes, I folded it a few ties first and it served as a perfect blindfold, it was so effective in fact that when I went to knock I almost put my hand through the door and really hurt my knuckles!

The door opened almost immediately, a hand grabbed my shoulder and I stumbled as I was pulled into the house and then the door was shut behind me. I was in, agreement confirmed, last chance given up. With both hands on my shoulders he pushed down from behind me and I lowered myself to my knees, then he grabbed my hands and crossed them behind my back, just like Kayleigh liked to have me.

He was very quickly in front of me and I felt something touch my lips, I instinctively opened my mouth (what a slut!) and he pushed his cock in without hesitation. It really is like riding a bike, I closed my lips around him and began running my tongue over the head and just like that he was hard, his cock growing in my mouth, then he began to fuck my face.

His hand went into my hair and grabbed a handful so he could hold my head still and just thrust into my mouth, every few strokes he pushed the head of his cock into my throat a little and I’d have to concentrate on not gagging.  After a couple of minutes he pulled out a little holding steady with just the head inside my lips and then he moaned and his hot salty cum filled my mouth, and I mean filled, there was a lot of it!

He pulled out almost immediately and then presumably watched while I swallowed twice moving his cum from my mouth to my stomach, it was particularly salty and sticky and not easy to swallow but I managed to get it all down. When he could see I was done he wiped his cock on my cheeks and across my top lip so that all could smell and taste was cum.

He disappeared for a minute and I just knelt there trying to listen to what was going on, then he was back behind me and lifting me by my wrists whist keeping them locked behind me, I climbed to my feet and then walking the direction I was being pushed hoping I wouldn’t go face first into something.

We went into a different room and then he abruptly pulled my arms back stopping me in my tracks, he removed my coat and I heard it thrown on to a sofa or something. Next he was by my feet, lifting each on and removing my shoes, then lifting one up high and sort of stepping me forward, when I put my foot down it was on cold metal. He helped me in with my other foot and then adjusted them so they were touching the sides of what was obviously “the box” and so I was sort of on tip toes with my heels against the back of the box. Then he pushed me down onto my knees which naturally slid apart until they touched the sides, he kept pushing until I was knelt down with my ass on my feet.

Next he wrapped one hand around my forearms which were still folded behind my back and the other on top of my head and slowly pushed it down until I was bent right over with my forehead touching the floor of the box. He held me there for a few seconds and then in a gruff throaty voice uttered his first words to me, “stay still”, and then let go. I heard a small creek and then I felt the lid touch my forearms and seconds later heard two latches being closed on the box and then, silence!

I waited a minute just listening and then I tried to move. I could move my head up and down a little but my body was completely jammed in the box, because I was bent over the way I was and was already touching the lid I couldn’t move my legs at all and the same was true for my arms which were touching the lid and both sides. I could breathe normally and didn’t have undue pressure on any one part of my body, I just couldn’t move at all!

I tried to keep relaxed, stay calm and not panic. I still had a strong taste of cum in my mouth and with every breath that is all I could smell. There was nothing else to do but wait……….

And wait…….

Somewhere along the way I completely lost track of how long I had been in there, my mind drifted to various kidnap and torture fantasies amongst other things but then my body started to ache and eventually all I could think about was getting out of the box and moving my arms and legs. Despite knowing full well I couldn’t move I still tried to wriggle and move but to no avail. After a while longer I just wanted to scream in total frustration but the box stayed shut and I continued breathing in the smell of cum.

Eventually came the welcome sound of the latches on the box being opened, as the lid came up and pulled my skin were it had adhered to the metal I used all my will power to keep from immediately jumping out of it. He grabbed my hair and pulled, I went with him first bending my body back upright and then bending my aching joints and standing on very shaky legs. I desperately wanted to move my arms but I kept them behind me because I didn’t want to give him any reason to put me back in the box. Once I could stand up straight he pulled my arms apart and let them hand by my sides, it was a mixture of pain and relief as I allowed them to move again.

He started to speak, “You were in the box for nearly two hours, if you piss me off at any point I will put you back in and you won’t come out until it’s time to leave. Do you understand?”, I relied “yes Sir”. His reply came quickly, “I don’t go in for all that Sir, Master business. If I ask you a question just answer like a normal person, I’m not your “Maaaster” I’m just a guy who wants to fuck you and fuck you up a bit, OK?”, I nodded, blushed and just said “yes”. He said, “take off your blindfold”.

My eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the light but when they did I saw a guy in his early thirties, stocky and carrying a bit of extra weight but he could pull it off as he was tall, at least six foot. He had short brown hair and stubble, he was wearing blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt, he was smiling. He wasn’t gorgeous but he wasn’t ugly either, just average looks really, I smiled back somewhat shyly as the thought popped into my head that his cum was already in my stomach.

He gestured and I followed him upstairs and into a bedroom, I think it was a spare room because it seemed a bit too empty and tidy to be used every day. He turned around and stood very close to me, way into my personal space and said “Did you get wet in my box?”, I just looked at him and blushed again! I blush a lot, it is really ridiculous but I can’t help it. He grabbed my chin roughly and put his face right in mine and said “if I ask you a question I expect you to answer it”, it wasn’t really menacing or anything but he got his point across! I said “yes, a little”, more blushing.

He grinned again, he has quite a cheeky grin, and then pushed his hand between my legs and pushed his fingers against my pussy through my thong which was in truth soaked through, his grin widened and I couldn’t help but smile at him. He said “lets see if we can wipe that grin off your face shall we?” and then turned around and picked up my overnight bag.

He unzipped the bag and then tipped it up and dumped the entire contents on the bed, my spare clothes, underwear, shower bag, makeup and the few toys he had asked me to bring all spilled out all over the place. He obviously didn’t find what he was looking for because he left it all there and turned back to me and told me to bend over the end of the bed.

The bed had a metal header and footer so I bent over it and laid my body on all the crap he just tipped out. He kicked the insides of my feet until he was happy with how far they were apart and then came right up close behind me, I could feel his erection pressing against my ass as he pulled my skirt up and bundled my thong so it was between my pussy lips and buried so far up my ass it might never come out. Then I listened to him unbuckle his belt before he stepped back.

He isn’t really one for warming up, he whipped my ass ten times in close succession and he did it damn hard. My ass was stinging almost straight away but I had no time to think about it because he then swung the belt up between my legs and hit me just as hard directly on my pussy. I yelped and my legs buckled as the stinging pain shot through my groin but I stayed basically on my feet. There was a laugh in his voice when he said “Did you like that last one slut?”, I managed to get out a short breathy “yes”.

Back behind me now his fingers were running across my now slightly puffy pussy lips, he pulled my thong out from between them and ran two fingers down my slit, I was plenty turned on by what was happening so he had no problem pushing them inside me until they were buried deep. He left them there for a good minute, just moving them around inside me causing an occasional gasp or moan to escape my lips, then he yanked them back out and wiped my juices on my skirt.

He grabbed me around the waist and picked me up, walked back away from the bed a couple of steps then dumped me back on my feet again and told me to lean my hands on the end of the bed. With me basically bent over he tried to pull my thong down but with my legs spread they wouldn’t go down so he grabbed the crotch of them and put his other hand on my ass and just pulled them until the thin lace ripped and they came away in his hand. He threw them on the floor under my face and I secretly rolled my eyes, he just ruined my favourite black underwear!

I thought I knew what was coming when he said “hold still or I’ll do it harder”, more pussy whipping, but instead he swung his foot up between my legs and kicked me directly in the cunt. My legs immediately gave way and I fell to my knees clutching my groin and moaning. I don’t know how to describe the pain this produces, for me it is unlike any other pain and it kind of pulses through my body radiating from my pussy which had immediately started to puff up.  That is not to say I don’t like the pain, it is just a somewhat intense sensation especially when you aren’t expecting it!

Several years ago I was playing with a guy who quite enjoyed this sort of play and he kicked me so hard that he fractured my pelvis. We didn’t realise at the time and he still fucked me afterwards, it was incredibly painful and very embarrassing the next day when I had to go to hospital and make up some lame story about falling on a fence!

Anyway, he left me on my knees trying to pull myself together for a minute and then said “I’m pretty sure I told you to hold still or I’d do it harder. Do you remember that Lois?”. I was listening but I didn’t answer, my pussy was still throbbing. He came over to me and told me to stand up, my legs were a little wobbly but he was very helpful and grabbed a handful of my hair to help me up.

Smiling he said “Now. Because you moved I am going to do that again but this time I’m going to do it harder, AND, I’m wearing shoes so it will hurt more, ok?”. I looked down at his feet, he was wearing some sort of grey walking trainers with metal loops for the round orange laces which were tied in a bow. He put his hand under my chin and moved my head back up so I was looking at him and said “O, K, ?”. He had a huge grin on his face and it just made me laugh, I smirked and said “OoooooKaaaaay” in the same way he had. He laughed, let go of me and said “assume the position then!”

I stood back in position, spread my legs and leant over onto the foot of the bed like before. This time though I knew what was coming, I knew it was going to be bad and it took all my self control to stay in position. If I had been facing him and knew when it was coming I don’t think I could have stayed still.

Suddenly my vision was filled with stars as my pussy exploded in pain, I was on the floor again curled into the fetal position with my hands cupping my pussy. I could hear him laughing as I writhed about with my eyes tightly shut and not making a sound. It was one of the most extreme pains I have felt and I really wish I could properly describe it but I think it is one of those things you would have to experience to understand.

Eventually I felt like I could breath again and managed to open my eyes and look around, he was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room watching me with a big grin on his face, I managed a smirk but stayed on the floor. He gave me another couple of minutes and then left the room and came back with a glass of water, I started to get up and reached out to take the water but instead of handing me the glass he just threw the water directly in my face!

I wasn’t expecting it at all and I was just about to call him an asshole when he burst out laughing and I just couldn’t help but laugh too! He said there is more in the tap if I want a drink so I snatched the glass off him and wondered to the bathroom trying my best to walk normally despite the now very noticeable swelling between my legs.

I returned from the bathroom with the glass half full of water, my intention was to retaliate with a water attack of my own….

Just to clarify, this isn’t a D/s thing, whilst he is dominant and I am generally submissive this little “hook-up” was about him being a sadist and me being a masochist. I did as I was told most of the time but only because I wanted him to do the things he was going to do. As I mentioned, no strings, just a bit of fun!

…but I stopped when I entered the room because he wasn’t in there. Then he grabbed me from behind, reaching under my left arm and grabbing my throat with one hand and grabbing the wrist of the hand holding the water with his other. He said “Is that for me?” and then took the glass out of my hand and let me go. I walked a few steps into the room and then turned around, he was watching me and drinking the water.

“So what now?” I asked, he just looked at me for a little bit and I started to feel self-conscious. Eventually he said, “Lets see your tits then, top off, bra off”, then he took another sip of his drink and kept staring. Blushing again I pulled my top over my head and threw it on the bed, then unfastened my bra and let it slide down my arms revealing my tits to him for the first time. I stood with my arms by my sides, bra hanging from one hand whilst he leant on the door frame and took in the sights, the silence was deafening and I had to fight an embarrassed smile from spreading across my face. He could tell I was feeling uncomfortable and he was enjoying it.

Then he said “make your nipple hard”, I smirked, rolled me eyes and threw my bra on to the bed. Really I was glad to have something to do, I took a nipple between the forefinger and thumb of each hand and gentle rolled my nipples between them, within five seconds they were both standing to attention. I let go of them and then gestured to my tits and said “happy?”, he smirked, shook his head and said “oh no, not yet. get a couple of your binder clamps off the bed”.

I got the clamps and held them up for him to see, they are the type shown in the picture to the left, about one and a half inches wide, black and made of strong metal. I’m sure a lot of you have used these and will therefore know how strong they are, much stronger than a normal clip. I dangled them from my finger and held them out, what do you want me to do with them? I knew the answer, or at least I thought I did, but I was feeling a bit brazen!

He smiled and said “well, as seen as you can’t stop being cocky you can put the first one on your tongue and then get another one”. So it turned out I didn’t know the answer! I gave him a “you’ve got to be kidding me” look but he gestured for me to do it so I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue. I got one of the clamps ready in my hand and squeezed it to hold it open then slid it around my tongue until the tip touched the inside of it, then I gently let the clip close onto my tongue. It really hurt! I tried not to show it but the clip was really strong and really dug into my tongue, I also immediately found out that I couldn’t put my tongue back into my mouth properly because of the metal “wings” on the clip.

I picked up another clip and turned back to face him, he said “anything cocky to say?”, I said “uck oss”, he smiled and said “I think you know what to do with those two”.  I took my left tit in my hand, squeezed it a little and then applied the clip the same way as I had done on my tongue. Then I did the same on the other tit, I let the clip bite just behind my nipple so it was squeezing the meat and not directly on the nipple. They felt amazing, they are such strong clips and they were pinching my tit meat so hard, I loved it and my pussy was reacting appropriately.

He sauntered over to me and took one of the clips and twisted it downwards, which hurt, then he started fiddling with the little metal “wing” that you use to open it, I couldn’t really see what he was doing but then he twisted it upwards and started fiddling with the one on the other side. Eventually he moved so I could see what he had done, he’d removed them! Apparently if you squeeze the metal wings inwards you can detach them from the clip thus leaving you, or rather me, unable to open the clip again! He then let me watch as he did the same thing with the other one.

Just as he was finishing with that one some drool ran out of the side of my mouth and dripped onto my tit. In the best voice I could muster I said “an I tek this oss now?” (Can I take this off now?) to which he laughed, grabbed my tongue clip and pulled my tongue out of my mouth with it which hurt like a bitch! He kept pulling and I had to follow him, led by my tongue, over to the door which he shut. Then he tried to hook the tongue clip onto the hook on the back of the door but I was no where near tall enough. He let go of the clip and disappeared through the door leaving me extremely tempted to just take it off. The problem with clamps though, no matter how much they hurt when they are on, they always hurt more when you take them off!

He came back fairly quickly though and span me round before pulling my hands behind my back and wrapping tape around my wrists, around both first and then in between so there was no way I could get out of it, not for some time anyway, then he span me back round and threaded a piece of string through one of the wings on the tongue clip and tied it off, then used that to lead me back to the door which he closed again. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what came next, he wrapped the string around the door hook and then pulled it until I was on my tip toes with my tongue pulled out of my mouth and then tied it off and stepped back to admire his handy work.

It was really hard to stay in that position, on my tip toes without my arms to balance and my tongue stretched out and clamped, the nipple clips were really painful but I barely noticed them as I tried to stay still. Then I felt something pushed between my thighs from behind and then pushed up against my pussy, it was a vibrator and it was turned up high. I was already pretty horny but when he pushed that buzzing little thing against my clit it almost instantly took me to the next level.

At the best of times I find it difficult to stay standing upright while I cum and I knew that it was going to be really painful for my tongue if I didn’t manage to stay on my tip toes. It didn’t take long for me to get close, clitoral stimulation will do it for me every time, and with my tongue restrained the way it was I was drooling all down my chin and onto my tits, my legs were starting to go wobbly and I knew the clip was going to get ripped off my tongue when I came and that it would be horribly painful, then he pulled the vibe away and left me hanging there on the edge of a climax. That was more torture than any of the rest!

In my mind I was think “What a total bastard” but I kept my mouth shut I didn’t want to show him how much it bothered me or I might not get to cum all weekend. By the time he came back over to me I had drool all down my chin and all over my tits. He didn’t untie the clip from the door, instead he opened it and released my tongue which was pure agony and total relief all at the same time, I pulled my tongue back into my mouth and it felt very strange, it must have been swollen because it felt massive in my mouth.

He obviously liked me on my tip toes though because next he tied a piece of string to each of the nipple clips and then, smiling sweetly asked my to stand back on my tip toes before tying them off to the door hook with my nipples stretched out. The clips were biting into my nipples pretty bad by that point and being pulled only made it worse but I tried my best not to let it show. The next thing he did was to unzip my skirt and slide it down my legs, finally leaving me completely naked in front of this person I had only met a few hours earlier. He wasn’t shy though, after moving my skirt out of the way he pushed his hand between my legs from behind once again and then began rubbing something at the opening of my pussy, I quickly realised it was my horse tail anal plug when I felt the long hair tickling my legs, once he had coated it with the copious juices available he pushed it into my ass with surprisingly little resistance.

My hands weren’t tied tightly but they were tied securely, despite this though he added another layer of tape on them and then said “Count to one thousand and eighty and then come down to the kitchen” before walking out of the room. I immediately realised that meant thirty minutes stuck in this predicament and started counting in my head, what didn’t dawn on my straight away was that to get free and go downstairs I would have to get free on my own, without my hands.

Whilst I counted I tried to work out the best way to do this but really it wasn’t going to make a hell of a lot of difference, I was going to have to pull away until both clips were ripped off my nipples still fully closed and it was going to hurt, a lot!

Thirty minutes doesn’t seem like a long time in normal life but standing on your tip toes with your nipples being stretched and crushed at the same time whist your ass is full of a large plug, it feels like an eternity! Finally I got to one thousand seven hundred and forty and began to prepare myself, big breaths in and long breaths out and on 1800 I stepped down and back and yanked my chest back.

It was worse than I was expecting, as the clips slid from crushing my areoles they crushed my nipples all the way down until finally they pinched the tips of them as they came off. You know when you pinch your skin in something and you get a blood blister? Image that on the end of both your nipples combined with the brutal pain of removing clamps that have been on that long, tears welled in my eyes as I screwed them up just trying to take the pain, I desperately wanted to cup my breasts but there was no way my wrists were coming free, I just leant on the wall and tried to breathe.

I gave myself a couple of minutes to recover and then looked down, my nipples were swollen and hard and had little blood blisters on them. After negotiating the stairs very carefully (falling on the stairs with my arms bound behind me isn’t the sort of pain I was after) I found the kitchen and walked in. He was wearing a suite and tie and looking very handsome, he was sat at a table with two tall candles burning and in front of him was a plate containing a nice meal and a glass of wine. Across the table there was another place set, this one had a large metal dog bowl filled with the same food but cut up small and a smaller dog bowl containing wine (I hoped!). It was a little predictable to be honest but making a sub eat out a dog bowl, it’s a classic isn’t it?

He got up and pulled my chair out for me like a gentleman and when I gingerly sat down ensuring I swished my tail to one side first!, he pushed it back in under me. With my arms bound behind me I was sat in quite an awkward position, leant forward in the chair. He sat down opposite me looking all smart and I felt ridiculous, I knew my makeup would be all over the place and I had dried spit all over my chin and chest, not to mention my huge swollen nipples pointing at him like little fingers.

To my surprise he started talking fairly normal things, what he likes to do, what I like to do and despite my position it almost felt like two people just having a chat, the illusion was shattered though when he said “Eat up, it’s going cold” and I was forced to push my face into the food and eat it like a dog, then lap at the wine which was actually quite a nice bottle!

When I looked back up my cheeks were bright red, I had sauce on my face and I just felt completely humiliated, he was smiling at me and I just rolled my eyes. He got up and came over to me, wiped my face with his napkin and then said “Time for desert, open your mouth” then cleared his throat and “hocked up”.

Now this has been done to me before and its totally and utterly disgusting and for some reason I am so turned on by it! I think, and I am no psychologist, that I like it because I find it disgusting but it is such a submissive thing to do, open your mouth and let someone spit in it, it’s horrible but I’m getting wet just thinking about it now. I’m so weird, I’ve given up trying to understand myself!

TO BE CONTINUED

(sorry but I’m struggling to find time to finish writing this so I thought I’d post this part and then at least you’re getting something!)

Finally, something fun!

First of all my last post was considerably longer than one line but something seems to have gone awry when it was posted and you only got the first line, I didn’t even notice for a while and by the time I did I had completely forgotten what the rest of it said! So I apologise for that, this one will be considerably longer, in fact it already is!!

Soooooo, what have I been up to? Well not a great deal of interest to be honest, there was a lot of moping around at first, then a considerable amount of drinking! A few casual hook-ups which were not my finest moments and then there was a lot of work and gym which ended up with me having another collapsing episode. Fortunately I was at home this time so there were no embarrassing ambulances or lectures from doctors!

Before any of you start with lectures of your own I am now fine, resting more, eating properly, drinking less and have basically cut out a lot of the foolishness which seemed to follow the unexpected demise of my relationship with Kayleigh. On that subject I have nothing more to say except that it is over and I can’t see it being resurrected, at least not for the time being. She is off doing her thing and I am doing mine.

So, pastures new and all that. As I mentioned there were a few ill-advised liaisons that resulted from some heavy nights out getting over Kayleigh, one of these ended up with me bring spit roasted by two guys that I had only met that evening which I am sure would have done wonders for my reputation had it happened near home but fortunately I was in London at the time where anonymity rules supreme! On the plus side, I can’t remember ever being spit roasted before so that’s something ticked off the bucket list at least!

My blog has been fairly quite of late except for the nice comments everyone posted, which I very much appreciated and did read even if I didn’t respond. One of the things I did to the blog whilst I was with Kayleigh was to remove the “Tasks” section for various reasons which I think I probably explained at the time, however Dante was not deterred and went ahead and posted a task to the “About Me” page instead. You can find it here, the rest of this post might make more sense if you read it first.

I sterilised a few boxes of drawing pins (thumb tacks) the night before and then cut the leg off an old pair of tights and poured a load of the drawing pins into the tight and jiggled them around to get them to the bottom, I kept filling it until I had a ball that was bigger than a golf ball but smaller than a tennis ball. Definitely not fist size as there is no way I would be able to get it where it needed to go but certainly big enough to have the desired effect. I tied the tight leg off with the pins as tightly packed as possible so that a load of the pushed through leaving a odd shaped spikey ball.

I used to have a pin bra but it ended up getting ruined so it was high time I made another anyway. I had been out specially and bought a new bra specially for this task, I started off by working out where my nipple would be in each cup and using super glue to attach a pin in that position, then I made a ring of pins around that one so that they were all touching. I then made rings of pins around those clusters with about a centimetre between each ring and about a centimetre between each pin. I didn’t test the bra as I wanted to keep my tits fresh for the task.

I was in the office the next day, it was difficult to concentrate though as I was excited about doing a pain task, something I hadn’t done in a long time. I love being with Kayleigh but if I’m honest the one thing she never really fulfilled in me was my masochistic side, I was happy enough to live it at the time but now that I am single again that side of me really seems to have reasserted itself!

Finally the end of the day came and I went into the bathrooms at work and entered a toilet cubicle shutting the door behind me, I put my bag down next to the toilet and then closed the seat and sat on it. I pulled my skirt up to my waist and removed my underwear, then pulled a speculum and the “little ball of fun” out of my bag. The cold speculum slid into me easily because I was already wet from the anticipation of carrying out the task, I gentle cranked it open, feeling the fullness and then the slight stretching as it opened me up wide enough to fit my little “toy” inside. I could feel the pins scrape along the inside of the speculum blades as I pushed it deep into my pussy and the sensation went right through me, sort of like nails down a black board.

Once the thing had gone as far as it could I slid the speculum out of ye a little with it still open and then when it was clear of the toy I released it letting my pussy close around the spike ball., there was no immediate spiking sensation, just a feeling like I had something up there. I had left a small “tail” of tights material which dangled slightly out of my pussy to allow me to remove the toy later. I stood up and put my underwear back on and headed out of the bathrooms. Walking definitely started to give me some sensations as the object began to slide into a more “natural” position and in the process began pushing its spikes into the walls of my pussy.

By the time I got to the gym the ball had started to become uncomfortable, all the movement had made it move around and scratch the inside of my hole which had caused a little swelling so I could feel it a lot more inside me. I went straight to the changing rooms and into a cubicle and removed my work clothes and put them into my gym bag after removing my gym stuff including my new bra.

My gym clothes are similar to what you would see any girl wearing at the gym, I have this Nike vest top that also acts as a sports bra and some running shorts plus a pair of trainers. First of all I stood in the cubicle completely naked and put on the bra, I slid it up my arms and positioned the cups over my tits, then I placed both hands over the cups and firmly pressed it into my chest.

The changing room was quite cold so my nipples had been slightly erect when I pressed the bra against them, the two pins that I had positioned perfectly pushed against them briefly and then the skin of both nipples gave way and I felt the exquisite pain of the sharp points entering the sensitive flesh of my nips. Shivers began running up and down my spine as the surrounding pins made contact with my areolae, the sharper ones pushing into them and the bunter ones simply prodding painfully at the flesh without breaking the skin. All of this happened in a just a second as my hands cupped my breasts and they all of a sudden felt pain like they haven’t felt in a long time. I reached behind me and fastened the bra a little tighter than I would normally do and then put on the rest of my clothes a little cautiously as certain movements would cause pain in once place or another. Once I was dressed I looked perfectly normal except for the fact I was wearing a bra under a vest that doesn’t require one!

I usually work out for quite a while on various machines but that is when I am there for a workout, not a “task”. As per my instructions I went straight to the bikes and climbed on one. I immediately felt a spiking pain as I put my weight onto my groin and the “spike ball” decided to adjust its position but I ignored it and began to pedal. It was bad at first, there was a some painful scratches and stabbing sensations that caused me to moan under my breath but then I got up to a steady speed and it was just the sensation of having something that felt quite large in me and a few sharp and unexpected stabbing pains every now and again but I could handle it quite well.

My tits were more of a constant pain though, it is like a combination of a stinging and aching pain that completely covered every part of them and the bra and sports top kept the pressure firmly on them. Every now and then my skin would give under the pressure of one of the pins that hadn’t initially pierced the tit meat and the pin would bury itself all the way in causing me to gasp or moan uncontrollably, I got some funny looks from other riders!

After about fifteen minutes I tried standing to ride rather than sitting on the seat, this was much worse! With every peddle I could feel the spike ball grind inside me, that is the only way I can describe the sensation in my pussy which I think was caused by the pins scratching up and down inside me. I continued riding standing up for about five minutes and then did another ten sat down before finishing with five more stood up. The last five were particularly gruelling as my pussy felt raw and each time I peddled the pain in there was quite sharp and stingy but despite all that I was truly horny and could feel a lot of wetness in my shorts which fortunately are black.

I climbed off the bike and wiped some wetness off the seat then headed for the changing rooms, I didn’t get changed though, I just grabbed my bag from the lockers and headed home. I live quite near to my gym so I walked home still feeling the raw scratching feeling as I did.

Once inside I went up to my room, kicked off my trainers and pulled down my shorts, I was quite shocked to find that my white gym knickers were completely red in the crotch and my pussy was covered in blood! I stepped out of my shorts and then grabbed a towel and laid it on my bed, I still had a task to finish. I laid on top of the towel and spread my legs wide as I began to rub my clit using a mixture of blood and my juices for lube.

As the fingers of one hand circled my clit with increasing frequency I wrapped the fingers of my other hand around the “tail” of the spike ball and began to ease it out of me, It came with surprisingly little resistance but I could feel the pins scraping along the walls of my pussy all the way and then eventually just as I was about to cum I finished myself off by yanking the tail and pulling the bloody ball of pins out of me as I moaned and came writhing on my bed.

I laid there for quite a while just enjoying the feelings, the aching pain in my tortured tits, the stinging pain of my swollen bloodied pussy and the glorious afterglow of my orgasm. Eventually I got up and ran myself a hot bath, then I peeled the bra away from my tits gasping as each of the pins was pulled from my tit flesh leaving a little red dot, a few of the bled like the ones in my nipples which left small holes but not a lot really. Getting into the bath was agony but once I was settled it was quite soothing on my tits and pussy, I used my muscles to suck water into my hole and then push it out (can other people do this or is it just me, I’ve always wondered about that!), at first it came out red but eventually it started coming out pretty clear. After my bath I just wore my fluffy bath robe and made some food before curling up to watch TV.

The next day my tits were black, they were just two big bruises basically and my nipples were very swollen for some reason, much more than I would have expected and the same could be said about my pussy. I had intended wearing a tampon for the day in case it bled some more but I couldn’t get one in because of all the swelling! I am pretty much back to normal now though, I really enjoyed doing a task after all the time so maybe I will do some more in the near future if anyone wants to set a sensible one that I am likely to be able to do in my limited spare time.

Hope you enjoy this post, hopefully I will have more to write about soon xx

The small s in BDSM

I have been into BDSM actively for approximately ten years to varying degrees and before that I was interested in it but didn’t really know what it was or why I had the thoughts I had. I have learnt over those ten years that I am a masochist, defined as “someone who obtains pleasure from receiving punishment”, and above all other things that has been the guiding principle of my BDSM life up to this point, or in fact I should say up until 361 days ago.

Now don’t get me wrong, the pleasure of pain is always going to be a big part of me and my lifestyle but since meeting my current Mistress I have come to really appreciate the other aspects of BDSM, the Domination and the submission, these parts have become more a part of my life now than they ever have been in any other relationship I have had.

Of course I have “submitted” my entire life, I’ve “submitted” to being fucked in the pussy, fucked in the ass and fucked in the mouth. I’ve “submitted” to being tied up, whipped and caned and “submitted” to doing some truly disgusting things that most of you already know about. In fact you will read about some more of them when I finally finish writing about that party of Mistresses, it was certainly a fun party!

What I’ve come to realise though is that I’ve never really “submitted” to anyone, not really. Submission is defined as “The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.” and whilst on the face of things I have done that on many occasions, too many to count in fact, in actual fact I was only ever doing what I wanted to do. Yes it was under the direction of another but they only ever had control because I let them have it for that brief period and then I took it right back. I think part of that is because of my deep rooted self preservation instinct, I have let my guard down before and regretted it almost immediately afterwards and sometimes that regret has lasted a long time.

Mistress says I try and Top from the bottom on a regular basis and She is right, I do, I always have done and my previous Partners, Mistresses, Masters, Boyfriends and Girlfriends have all let me get away with it, I was the sub but I was in control all of the time, until now.  Mistress Kayleigh, my current Domme, is the first person in ten years to point this out to me and more than that, She is the first person to pull me up on it and show it to me and try to beat it out of me (metaphorically!). She has recognised this flaw in my submissive behaviour and is actively trying to “fix” it in me, and I want Her to succeed, more than anything.

It is illuminating, I don’t want to do my past Partners (…etc etc) an injustice, I treasure the time I spent with (almost) every one of them but what I have come to realise is that they weren’t Dominants at all, not to me, they were just sadists who used me for their pleasure and I was just a masochist using them for my pleasure. We both got what we wanted but there was nothing more than that, nothing deeper, nothing like what is developing between myself and my Mistress.

The last few weeks have been hard, work has been extremely busy and stressful, Mistress has been doing exams, then I was ill and now I am half way through a two week business trip away from Her. Finding time for “play” has been difficult and to be honest our bedroom activities have been decided dull of late which is part of the reason for the lack of posts, I have to be in the mood to write and of late I haven’t really been there. The thing is though, it’s OK, our relationship has grown stronger through it and I feel like we have a stronger bond than I have ever felt with anyone, without trying or making any conscious decision we have fallen into a 24/7 D/s relationship.

That doesn’t mean I sleep in a cage every night and sit at Her feet all the time waiting for Her next command, it just means that She is the absolute most important person in my life and She is considered in almost every decision I make. As I write this it is actually just occurring to me that it is really not that different from any other loving relationship, apart from the fact that I do sometimes sleep in a cage and am often at Her feet waiting for my next command!

Sorry, this has been a bit of brain dump of things that have been swirling around in my mind whilst I’ve been spending so much time on my own. Amongst all of the tales of butt plugs and nipple clamps I just wanted to express how this Person, this Domme, this Mistress is different for me and how I am feeling about things at the moment. Don’t worry, I won’t be making a habit of this “touchy feely” writing and normal programming will resume, I really do need to write about the party!

So other than teaching me how to be a real submissive Mistress and I have been looking into a few other things which we are eager to try. First of all I have been talking to someone on CollarMe who is a hypnotist and she has helped me with placing post-hypnotic triggers in my mind. We have tried this a little bit using a video which puts you in a hypnotic state and then implanting commands with some success and when I get home we are going to try it for real. The first thing we are going to try is for Mistress to implant a trigger that prevents me from orgasming without her giving me a specific command, it is the ultimate in orgasm control and we are both very excited to try it!

Some of you will be sceptical and so am I to a point but based on my research and speaking to this hypnotist I have come to believe that it is real. The way she described it was that you are subconsciously allowing yourself to be hypnotised and for the triggers to be planted and if you weren’t willing and happy to let it happen then it wouldn’t work. Fortunately, I am feeling more submissive at the moment then I have ever felt in my life, specifically towards Mistress and that is why I believe this will work.

For those that are interested you can try out the hypnosis video that Mistress and I used here, have a listen if for nothing more than she has a really hot voice! (might be more one for the subs though!)

I will let you know the outcome, and I promise, party write-up to come soon!