This weekend

Today I am working from home, which I do quite often as my staff don’t disturb me at home unless it is something urgent and I can get through more work than I can in the office. However today Miss Fiona also decided she would work form home, but not from her home, from my home. In fact she is stood behind me watching me write this.

Ordinarily when I’m working from home I’ll wear something comfortable and completely unsexy, sorry, but today Miss Fiona….

OK, just in case you don’t look at my Tumblr blog and are unaware of this, I’ve been given a rule that I have to address her as Miss Fiona or Miss Fi, or Miss and have been failing terribly at maintaining that. In my defence if you aren’t used to doing so it is incredibly difficult to make referring to someone by a title as habit. As a punishment for failing she logged onto my Tumblr and submitted a full facial photo of me wearing a ball gag to someones blog who then posted it! I’m not going to tell you where it is because I don’t want it to be circulated anymore than it has been.

… today Miss Fiona decided what I should wear and after perusing my wardrobe and my drawers she decided on some old black stockings that I have that have the word “SLUT” written all over them in big white letters and a shelf bra, which for those who don’t know if a bra design to push your boobs up but that only covers up to just below your nipples thereby providing lift without hiding them. So I’ve spent the day virtually naked basically.

Every time I have made or received a phone call, so far five times, she come up behind me and wraps her arms around my body and kisses my neck and rubs her fingers between my legs which open instinctively. It’s very distracting and also frustrating because as soon as I finish the call she stops and goes back to her own work, so I’m pretty horny and my productivity is declining fast.

Tonight we have the house to ourselves so we’re going to relax, have some wine and see what happens, I’m looking forward to it!

Tomorrow I have a job to do, Miss Fiona has given me a job to do. She is leaving at around 8am as she has some things to do and at 9am someone is arriving, you might call them a pupil.

The pupil is the female submissive of one of Miss Fiona’s male friends who has decided that his “overly straight” sub needs to be trained to pleasure women as well as she does men and my job is to teach her how to pleasure a woman, namely myself! It sounds fun but it’s going to be very strange with a girl who is entirely straight and so won’t be turned on my any of it.

The day will end with a test, we both have to get dressed up and then Miss Fiona will take us to the Doms house so that his sub can show him her new skills by making another Dom’s sub cum in three different ways which are both pleasurable to the other girl and to the “audience”. If she fails then both of us will be punished.

So not your average weekend, it should be interesting if nothing else!

I got burned

Not in as in I was insulted, as in I literally got a burn on my arm from an air bag going off after someone drove into the front of my car the weekend before last. As you can see below, this is not the kind of injury my masochistic side enjoys.

This was at the end of a weekend that started out with significant promise but gradually deteriorated until it was in the same state as my car ended up, written off!

Lets go back to the start of the weekend, Friday night when, after showering, I spent an hour edging myself to make my pussy nice and wet prior to a date with Fiona just as she had told me to do.

I laid on my bed naked and pinched my nipples with one hand whilst rubbing the fingers of my other hand over my clit fantasising various different fantasies. Each time I felt my orgasm coming close I stopped and waited until it receded and then began again until my pussy was literally leaking onto the towel I had placed beneath me.

I kept going until I had just enough time to get ready, then I got dressed in a little black dress with bra but no underwear and did my hair and makeup before going downstairs and standing in the window to wait for her. She had text me to say she was setting off and that when she arrived she wanted to see me in the window with my hand up my dress on the verge of an orgasm.

I watched the taxi pull up as I stood in the window, the lights dimmed so I wasn’t too visible but just visible enough for her to see, with my dress pulled up at the front to reveal my slightly spread legs and my fingers circling my clit. When I was sure she had seen me I straightened my dress and headed out to the car.

As I climbed into the taxi I subtly pulled the back of my dress up so that when I sat down my bare ass went directly onto the seat rather than resting on my clothing, just as I had been told to. It felt dirty, putting my most intimate parts against that seat that had been sat on by a large number of strangers, it was a turn on. Fiona leaned over and kissed me deeply and passionately for a good ten seconds before sitting back down and saying “hi”. I glanced at the drivers mirror and saw him watching and blushed as he looked away and set off towards our destination.

I raised my eyebrows and said “hi to you too”, we’ve agreed not to use any titles or anything in a public setting. As we drove she placed her hand on my knee and then slowly moved it up my inner thigh, it was so unsubtle that it made me smirk until she got about two inches from my pussy and discovered how disgustingly wet I was and said “good girl” and I blushed and noticed the driver take another look at us in his mirror.

My hands were on the seat either side of me for the whole journey, submissive, inviting, just the way I was feeling. Her hand remained at the top of my thigh with her little finger just touching my bare pussy lips and slowly moving backwards and forwards stroking me. I was very conscious that her hand had pushed my dress up so that I was now essentially naked from the waist down but I was fairly sure the driver couldn’t see and no one outside would be able to.

When we arrived Fiona paid the driver and we got out, I pulled my dress down as I climbed out but if the driver had been looking he would have got a great view of my naked ass and I’ve no idea if he was looking or not. I do know that I left a wet patch on his seat which is disgusting but really was Fiona’s fault!

Our destination was a restaurant and we had a nice meal there, she asked me what I wanted and then ordered for both of us in quite a patronising way. She said “I’ll have the goat’s cheese to start and then the bream, she’ll have the calamari and the ravioli”, I wasn’t expecting it and when the girl looked at me as she wrote down my order all I could do was look back and sheepishly smile at her.

We talked about all sorts of normal things and then our starters came and we ate those, then as soon as the plates were cleared she said “I want you to cum for me before the mains come”. It took me by surprise and I just kind of looked at her incredulously and said “what, here?”. Her response was to just smile and nod and then she said “and if you fail you’ll earn something much worse”.

The table we were at was against a wall and it was a table for four with only two of us at it so it provided more cover than it could have, but I was still sat in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Despite that I was extremely horny and excited by what she wanted me to do so I slid my left hand (which was nearest the wall) between my legs and up my dress and began to rub on my already swollen clit.

I’m sure this is true for everyone, male and female, it’s hard to keep a normal face whilst masturbating. At the very least your mouth drops open and your eyes either lose focus or intently focus on one spot so to combat this I stared into Fiona’s eyes and bit my bottom lip, biting a little harder and narrowing my eyes each time the sensations forced me to react.

She watched me intently as I sat across from her masturbating in a restaurant and after a minute she said “don’t stop no matter what” and then seconds later a waiter appeared with our next round of drinks.

I didn’t stop, I definitely didn’t stop but I slowed my fingers enough that I could regain some composure and acknowledge that he was there and say thank you. It was my downfall, because my impending orgasm receded enough that despite my renewed efforts once he’d gone I was still trying to tease myself over the edge when Fiona said “stop” and then moments later our main courses arrived.

It was so frustrating, I hate edging, I hate the feeling of the ecstasy of an orgasm that was so close fading away into oblivion but I had no choice. I removed my fingers, straightened my dress again and picked up my fork. Fiona looked at me and tutted, then carried on as if nothing had happened.

We finished our food and drinks and Fiona asked for bill which she paid. Then she handed me the little wallet that the bill came in and gave me my punishment before walking out of the restaurant and calling a taxi.

I put a generous tip into the wallet and then wrote my name and phone number on a paper napkin that had come with my coffee, underneath my phone number I wrote “Call me x”. I took a deep breath and then with crimson cheeks I intercepted the waitress and handed her the wallet with the napkin on top of it.

The girl, who must have been at least six years younger than me, looked down at the wallet and napkin, then turned the napkin around and read it whilst I stood there like an idiot. As she read it her eyes widened and then she looked up blushing and said “oh, erm, thanks” and then quickly walked away into the kitchen.

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as I almost ran outside to meet Fiona who’d been watching through the window and was now looking very amused. I said she was mean and she told me that maybe I’d do as I was told next time. As I climbed into the taxi I looked back through the window and saw the waitress looking at me, we both looked away when we made eye contact and then the taxi drove away.

We had previously agreed that I was going to stay at her house, a big step baring in mind how it ended last time I stayed over but with everything out in the open I was past thinking about that. I paid the taxi and followed her up to and through her front door, then she was on me.

She pinned me to the wall with her body kissing me and her hand was between my legs and I was grabbing her ass and it was just passionate vanilla horniness for a couple of minutes, then she pulled my dress over my head. When I tried to do the same for her she stepped back and wagged a finger at me smiling and said “wait there”.

She returned a minute later with handcuffs. She removed my bra and threw it on top of my dress then gently moved my hands behind my back and attached the cuffs to them, I put up absolutely no resistance, there is this feeling when you submit to another person, allow them to control you in a very physical way, that I just love. It takes me to a psychological place that I would just love to live in 24/7.

She held the cuffs with one hand and my hair with the other as she led me upstairs to her bedroom wearing only my heels. When we arrived she sat down on the bed with her legs spread and then pulled me down so I was sort of squatting with my pussy resting on her thigh, then she lent back on her arms and said “cum!”.

It was hot, she pushed with her toes to apply upwards pressure as I ground my pussy into her thigh until I found a good position just above her knee where the pressure on my clit was just right and then I let out a loud uninhibited moan as I came hard against her leg and my legs went wobbly and I collapsed forward into her arms.

She gave me a minute and then she pushed me down off her and onto the floor so that I could see the amount of wetness I’d left on her leg, so much that it had run around her thigh and down the sides of her calf. She told me to clean it, and I did.

I licked every part of her leg that had my mess on it, up her calves, over her knee and thigh, then I continued. A little brazenly for a submissive I licked up her inner thigh until I came to her pussy, which I discovered was as naked as mine had been all night, and then I began running my tongue up her slit and around her clit.

She enjoyed my attentions for about twenty minutes and then I moved it up a gear and with a handful of my hair in her fist she came on my mouth. Then, without hardly ten seconds to recover she yanked my head back and put her face right up close to mine and said “who the fuck said you could do that?”.

I have to admit I was a little shocked by the change of pace and to the reaction to me giving her pleasure. She stood up pulling me with her by my hair and undid my cuffs before saying “bent the fuck over Lois”. I did as I was told as she pulled open a large drawer under the bed, produced a long cane from it and held it to my mouth, I dutifully took the cane with my lips and held it tight.

She moved behind me whilst saying “If we are going to do this you need to relearn discipline, I won’t stand for you trying to take control or topping from the bottom. So you’ve earned yourself ten hard strokes from the cane. What do you have to say?”.

I stood there, legs straight, bent at the waist with my arms straight on the bed and my back slightly arched so my ass was pushed out with her juices drying on my face and tried to speak with the cane in my mouth but she slapped my ass hard and then grabbed the cane which I let go of. Then I said “Yes Miss, I’m sorry.”.

She slapped my other ass cheek and said “Sorry for what?” and then continued to slap each cheek in turn as I said “I’m sorry for trying to take control Miss”. The slaps weren’t too bad but hard enough that I could feel my ass starting to burn by the time she stopped, then she said “Count”.

It’s quite a while since I’ve been caned, properly caned and even when you’re used to it the sharp sudden pain of it is still significant and she didn’t hold back. I heard the cane cut through the air and then her first strike landed right in the middle of my ass and almost knocked me out of position but I maintained it as I sucked in air and took the pain.

The next strike hit about an inch below the first, the one that followed was an inch above the first and then one an inch below the second and finally one right at the top. She is clearly well practised with the cane, each one hit with the same force and I would find out later were perfectly on target.

I’m a sexual masochist, I enjoy pain. I’m turned on by people inflicting pain on me but that doesn’t mean other natural reactions to pain don’t apply to me as well. The swats were hard, my ass was burning and I had tears in my eyes by the time she finished the fifth one. We have discussed safe words already, I knew what to say to stop her but I wasn’t about to, my pussy welling up just as much as my eyes.

The next five felt as though the landed in exactly the same spots as the first five but afterwards, when she was cuddling me on the bed and she let me run my hands over my ass I discovered the first five had been done at an angle and the latter five the opposite angle so that the now raised red welts formed a pretty crisscross pattern across the pale skin of my ass.

I fell asleep in her arms but when I woke up in the middle of the night my arms were handcuffed behind my back again and a little achy, I can’t believe she managed to handcuff me without waking me. I just snuggled back up to her warm body and went back to sleep.

So that was all good, it was an amazing date and I left Fiona’s the next day feeling very happy. I chilled at home for a while laying on my bed (on my front because it was too sore to sit on my ass) and then I got undressed and went to take a shower, this is when things took an unexpected turn.

I was in the shower washing my hair, back to the door and my sister walks straight in, no knock, no warning, just walks straight in. I have no problem with my sister seeing me naked, it wouldn’t be the first time and I didn’t immediately think much of it until I heard her shout “WHAT THE FUCK?!” and I instinctively spun round and put my hands on my ass cheeks.

I finished my hair and got dry enough to put on a dressing gown (robe if you’re American?), I checked out my ass so I would know exactly what she’d seen, it was bad, the welts from the caning were bright red and covered my ass, I couldn’t think of a single plausible excuse for them.

When I went into my room she was sat on my bed waiting for me, for some reason I thought she would be angry but she wasn’t, she was concerned. She came over and hugged me and said “what the fuck happened to you? are you ok?” and I couldn’t help but giggle, which didn’t go down well!

There was no way to lie my way out of it and I really didn’t want to, it gets tiring hiding your real self from everyone and despite her very vanillaness she is my sister and if anyone will accept me for who I am she would. So I told her everything.

Well, not everything! I told her about BDSM (“What, bondage and stuff? Like Fifty Shades?”) and that I was submissive and a masochist and that the welts were from me getting caned. I left out why I got caned and I didn’t tell her about any of the more extreme or bizarre things I’ve done, I figured it was enough of a shock already. I did have to admit that Fiona, who she knew I’d been out with last night, was a Dominant and was responsible for the state of my ass.

The conversation was long and drawn out and went round in circles but I didn’t blame her and I answered everything honestly, it felt good to be completely honest with her even though she seemed horrified at times and angry at others. Eventually wine was involved which helped my ass feel a bit better after I’d been sat on it for hours pretending it wasn’t really sore!

Then the next day the crash happened and she was there ten minutes after it happened and was my big sister again and helped me and looked after me and no more was said about my illicit lifestyle for a good few days.

We’ve discussed it again since, she’s had more questions and she’s promised to keep it to herself but she seems to be coming to terms with it. We’ll see what happens I guess!

If you got this far please leave a comment, I really love reading and responding to them no matter what they are. Questions, suggestion, lewd insults! I just love conversing with the people who actually read what I write x

Bad girl

Like I say in this Tumblr post (which shows the messages hinted above) I used to be such a good submissive, the only time I addressed my Dominant incorrectly was when I wanted to get punished……OK maybe I wasn’t that good a sub!

I’m totally out of practice though, it’s been years since I’ve been submissive to someone for more than a session and I’m finding it quite difficult as you can see in the messages, this isn’t the first time I’ve slipped up since Fiona told me to address her as “Miss”.

I have a date with her tonight which I am quite looking forward to, and I just know I’m going to slip up with it, it’s already earned me five spanks and she’s threatened me with something a lot worse if I don’t behave later! I think she has realised that I quite like pain and she needs to be more creative if she is going to punish me and adjust my behaviour to her liking, which is a shame! lol

Tonight I’ve been told to wear a short dress which no underwear (classic!) and when she picks me up in the taxi I’m to make sure I’m wet and that my ass goes directly onto the seat, no fabric in between.

To be honest the being wet won’t be a problem as I’m almost always at least a little wet but I’ll think of something to get me a little closer to what she’s expecting before she picks me up.

The reason I’m so excited for tonight is that we are “playing”, we discussed it earlier and she is feeling just as horny as me today and she asked if I wanted to stay over. I was a little reticent at first baring in mind how that ended last time but then my horniness overruled my brain, thankfully.

She has been sending me pictures all day, a ball gag, clover clamps, a flogger, a cane, so…..yeah, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble being wet when she arrives!

Things with Fiona

I’ve not mentioned Fiona in a while and that’s mainly because things stalled somewhat after quite a promising start, well actually I guess it was a bit of a rocky start but then a good restart?

I wrote about one date we went on but there were a few others after that and I was feeling quite positive about things with her, we were talking a lot and we had sex once and that was when the problem arose.

I’m not sure why she chose that moment to reveal this piece of information but the morning after I’d stayed at her place she told me that she had a couple that she had played with regularly for over a year, she was Dominant to both of them and played a role in their relationship on a day to day basis, it was a significant commitment she had made.

I can’t really pinpoint the exact reason but this upset me more than it maybe should have, I made an excuse shortly afterwards and left. In hindsight that was a childish reaction and I should have talked to her about it there and then, instead I got into my car and drove home almost in tears.

I felt like she had grossly betrayed my trust and allowed things to go further than she should have without telling me, it felt like only telling me after we had slept together was manipulative and that she’d done it that way in order to make it harder for me leave once she’d told me and I was hurt that she was carrying on with me whilst “playing” with someone else behind my back.

I don’t know how much of that is rational or justified but I reacted badly to it, those who have following my blog for a while probably think that I react to things like this badly, you’re not alone, almost everyone who knows me thinks the same, I think the same. I blanked her for a week, ignoring her calls and texts, until she eventually turned up at my door.

Then we argued, she tried to explain that it had been going on for a long time before she met me, that it was about the control and not about sex and that she didn’t tell me for so long because she didn’t know where things were going with us yet and didn’t want to ruin things. I told her I didn’t care what she thought, she should have told me the truth from the start and especially before sleeping with me, I asked her “how am I supposed to trust you after you made me feel like I was special to you when clearly I’m not enough for you”.

Remembering it, writing about it, now actually makes me think about something else, someone else, and whether my upset and anger was really about what she’d done or whether it’s about someone else. Hmm….

Anyway, we didn’t speak for a while after that and it was about that time that I restarted plans for the fantasies which eventually led on to me organising the “Dogging week”. Regarding that, I will still be posting about all those, I’m over half way through writing about them but I promised to send them to the person who organised it for me first, after they have seen them I’ll post them I promise. ——————————->

You know when I mentioned I don’t react to things well? I think this is a perfect example of that, rather than talking about what was bothering me with someone, like Hannah for instance who knows us both and could possibly help, I engaged in various depraved acts with complete strangers. Although saying that it’s not like I don’t do things like that anyway so maybe it’s not that bad.

Anyway, it seemed like it was completely over and then out of the blue I get a message from Fiona asking me to meet her for a drink.

The thing about me is that when I get involved with someone I dive head first into it very quickly, I try not to every time but I think it’s just the way I’m made or something to do with my submissive nature or something, I don’t know, it’s definitely a flaw in my personality though because it gets me hurt every time. So I’d been missing her and agreed to meet her mainly because of that.

I met her at a bar and we sat at a table in the corner, it was awkward at first but then we both relaxed a little, I’d calmed down about it a lot by this point. She apologised for the way she handled the situation and explained that she had made a commitment to the couple and that she didn’t feel she could just drop them, especially before she knew where things were going with me. She said that she had spoken to the couple and told them about me and that she would possibly have to end things with them.

She was saying all the right things and it did make me feel good that she was willing to do that for me, I apologised for the way I reacted and agreed to think about what I wanted to do, if I wanted to resume things. When we parted I felt better, this was shortly before I went on holiday so we’d agreed to wait until I was home to talk again.

Since I’ve been home we’ve been on one date, it’s kind of like things have been reset back to when we first met, like our initial attempt at something never happened. I’m happy with where we are though, so we’ll see what happens.

By the way, if you’re wondering about the picture at the top, I’m not sure. I searched for “confused girl” or something and it came up and I liked it so…there you go!

My viginity

I’ve been asked so many times how I lost my virginity that I thought I might as well just post the story here.

I was sixteen at the time, some people think that is quite young, others quite old, I guess it depends on your perspective but for me it wasn’t a decision, it was just when it happened.

I was single and at a house party after finishing high school, in the UK high school only lasts until you are 16 and then you have the option of going on to further education at sixth form (aka college) before going on to University. Pretty much everyone from my school year were at the party as well as some older people I didn’t recognise from other schools and after a few drinks (tequila I think) I got talking to one of the older guys.

He seemed nice and after a while, both drunk, we ended up in one of the bedrooms, he locked the door to give us some privacy and then we were kissed and both our hands started to wander as we lay back on the bed.

I didn’t think much of it when he pulled my hands above my head and gripped both my wrists in one of his hands, his other was pushing under my bra roughly fondling my breasts and then under my short skirt rubbing my pussy through my underwear.

It felt good and I wasn’t worried until I tried to free my hands so I could touch him too, he gripped my wrists tighter and shifted his body weight so I was pinned down, he was much bigger than me and I couldn’t move or get away. He pulled my knickers to the side exposing my pussy and rubbing his fingers up and down between my lips.

Looking down I could see he had he jeans pulled down and his cock was out, fully erect and he was moving himself between my spread legs. My underwear was pushed to the side from when he’d been fingering me so he didn’t have any trouble pushing the head of his cock against my opening with one hand still holding my hands and the other squeezing my tits.

I remember being surprised at how easily he pushed his cock into me but it was also really painful and my eyes welled up as I felt my hymen tear and then the fullness inside me before he began to roughly thrust.

He didn’t last long, I was tight and probably felt pretty good to him as he rammed into me over and over until I felt him twitch and heard him grunt as he came inside me. He let go of me then, kneeling up and zipping his jeans back up while I just lay there on the bed with my pushed up so my breasts and pussy were on display. He kissed me and then said he was going to get us a drink and left the room.

I lay there for five minutes before I realised he wasn’t coming back, my pussy was really sore and I venture down there with my fingers to check if there was any damage. It was a swamp of his cum, my juice and blood and without thinking I started to rub my clit using the mess for lube. My other hand moved to my tit and started to pinch and twist my nipple as I brought my self quickly to climax.

Once I’d straightened myself out I walked back downstairs, my pussy felt swollen and sore between my legs and I could feel the mess leaking into my knickers, the guy and all his friends had left the party and I never found out who he was, I didn’t tell anyone about what happened but I think that was the start of making me who I am today.

Of course all that is nonsense! The story of how I lost my virginity isn’t anywhere near as interesting as that, I was at a party after leaving school and had a drunken fumble with a guy from one of my classes, he was just as inexperienced as me but at least he got to cum in the ten minutes it lasted, like most girls for me it was very disappointing but that wouldn’t have made a great post!

I actually don’t believe those events or anything else had any impact on my sexual preferences or my submissive nature and it really frustrates me that popular media feels the need to portray people who are into BDSM as somehow broken or only into it due to some kind of trauma in their life.

My clit ring

For those that don’t know, in order to fulfil one of my fantasies I had my clit hood reduced in size and very large ring inserted into my clit piercing without my prior knowledge or permission, you can read about it in this post.

It took me a very long time to get used to these modifications to my pussy and, if I’m honest, I have never really got used to the ring, it’s size makes it almost impossible to wear comfortably whilst wearing clothes and even when naked it’s weight pulls my clit which is a cross between constant pain and constant stimulation.

Of course that was the intention when it was “installed” and it was a very devious plan by Luke, the reduction of my hood meant that my clit was never covered and therefore never protected from the stimulation or irritation provided by whatever clothing is covering it. Then there is the ring, it’s quite thick so when it is in place through the piercing behind the main nerve bundle of my clit it pushes my clit outward making it protrude even further from it’s reduce hood and therefore get even more stimulated/irritated by clothing.

All of this is really irrelevant though because the ring was sealed and therefore irremovable, by me at least and the whole point of allowing it to be done was that I then had to endure it for ever so despite wanting to remove it several times I didn’t have any intention of doing so.

Then something happened a couple of months ago, I’d had a nice soak in the bath and was doing my makeup, naked, in front of my chest of drawers. I knocked something off the top and as I squatted down to pick it up somehow the ring got caught on one of the knobs of the drawers and caused the ring to be yanked as my body moved down. I felt a sickening pain (not in ANY way a good pain) and looked down to find blood leaking down my thigh.

On closer inspection and after some calming down and cleanup I discovered I’d turn the skin/flesh next to the piercing on one side. Fortunately it had torn backwards away from my actual clit, and I really truly mean fortunately because if it had torn the other way it could potentially have severed the nerves to my clit making it essentially paralysed (or so I’m told).

After excessive use of plasters (band aids) to keep the two sides of the tear together as best as I could I spoke to Luke and then travelled to see him, he had arranged for the nurse who supervised the insertion of the ring in the first place to come as well and she looked at it as well and advised that the ring be removed and a stitch to be inserted.

Luke had to use some HUGE bolt cutters, which he had to rent from somewhere, to cut through the ring in two places and then feed the piece that remained through my body out. All the while I was sat in his arm chair with my legs spread wide and a tower under my ass in front of him and his nurse friend who I barely know!

In all she put one stitch in the tear and a butterfly stitch on either side of the piercing and then a sticky bandage thing over the whole are and advised be to leave it until the tear and piercing had healed up. That meant no clitoral stimulation for about two months, I lasted three weeks which is I thought was pretty good!

So that’s the update about my pussy, no more ring, giant or otherwise. It’s been a long time since my clit was originally pierced (I had a ring before the large ring) and it’s taken some getting used to having no jewellery down there anymore but on the plus side my pussy is once again a blank canvas. This all happened a few weeks ago so it’s pretty much healed up now and I’ve run plenty of tests to ensure all sensation has returned to the area ;).

I’ve got loads more content to write and am hoping to have time to do so over the next few weeks, plus I’m still adding stories for you to read if they float your boat. If you do read them I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave a comment and tell me what you thought, what you liked and didn’t like and what you’d like to read more about. I do intend to start writing more stories so any input would be very much appreciated!

On holiday

I’m on holiday in Portugal having an amazingly relaxing time and loving every minute, it’s been so long since I’ve relaxed like this. Just me and my (completely platonic) friend chilling in a villa, drinking wine round the pool and not doing much of anything, I’ve even got a bit of a tan!

I’ve got loads to write about and intend to get right on it when I get home, I did intend to leave some posts queued up to be published while I was away but work got crazy before I left and I didn’t manage to do that. Sorry!

They’ll be worth waiting for though, I promise, I’ve done some crazy stuff in the last few weeks!

I’ve also started to write an erotic bdsm themed story, I’m not sure if it will end up worth showing anyone but we’all see, it is about a girl called Macy who sort of accidentally becomes a cuckquean slave.

Anyway, the pool and a bottle of “green wine” are calling so that’s all for now x

Digital detox

I really don’t know why anyone follows this blog! I’m terribly inconsistent with writing posts and while I’ve apologised more times then I can count for it I’ve never got any better at posting regularly!

My excuse this time is that I needed a bit of a break from my online presence. I don’t want to imply that I’m more than what I am, I’m not any sort of online celebrity like has been suggested by some and despite appearances I’m not a particularly big attention seeker, although I am a little bit 🙂

I have Twitter, Tumblr, Collar Space, this blog, email and it was all getting a bit much to keep up with so I took a break.

It my own choice, not because I was ordered to by any new Mistress that some have speculated I have either! Yes I am still seeing Fiona and yes it is going well but no she didn’t order me to stop speaking to people online or anything like that. In fact she is happy for us to have an open relationship at the moment as she already has “other commitments” as well.

Whilst I haven’t been online in my usual ways recently I have been having some fun, at least one eagle eyed reader saw a post I made on a website relating to something I did a couple of weeks ago which fulfilled a couple of things from my fantasies list.

This is something I’ve thought about doing for a long time but haven’t got round to arranging until recently, or rather having someone else arrange. The premise was this; I would post an advert on a dogging website inviting people to “apply” to use me for whatever they wanted for one night (or actually a few hours) and five successful applicants would get to do what they wanted on five consecutive nights. The applications would go to a third party (who will remain anonymous) and they would organise all the details, all I’d know is where to be and when each night.

Here is the advert, which was written by me but edited and approved by the person who organised it:

I am a female submissive masochist in her early thirties and based in Cambridgeshire who craves cruel humiliation, degradation and rough use by strangers. I have brown hair, am 5′ 9″ with a slim build.To fulfil these needs a Dominant has instructed me to post this advert.

I am looking for singles or couples of any gender/colour/age/weight/etc who would enjoy playing with me one night next week (5th – 9th September 2016) with no strings attached. The Dominant will choose from those who reply to this advert (assuming anyone does!) and I will play with one each night next week.

This is a genuine offer and I am very excited about it.

If this interests you, please reply to this advert before midnight on Thursday and include the following:

• A little detail about yourself
• A picture of yourself
• Broadly what you would like to do with me
• Where you would like to meet
• Your email address (important!)

I will forward all replies (without reading them) to the Dominant who will choose the five for me to play with and contact (hence needing your email address) them directly to arrange the details, I will not be involved in the selection process and will be submissive to you when I arrive at the designated meeting place (hotel/woodland/public bathrooms).

Again, this is a genuine offer so only genuine and sensible replies with all the information requested please.

The website that I posted this on has a mailbox and mine was pretty much full for the next few days which ended up equating to twenty “applications” being made, all describing what they wanted to do with me.

I’d obviously discussed this with the person who organised the evenings in advance and I knew he would be finding the people and events that would be the most horrible for me but also vetting the people to make sure I’d be safe and that my identity would be safe, for instance the people involved have no idea about this blog.

The week was amazing, I came away having enjoyed doing some disgusting things, in private and public places all with complete strangers. I am in the process of writing reports for the person who arranged it and he has agreed that I can post them here once he has read them. In the meantime, here is a little description of who I met each night and where:

• Monday – A mid 30’s Dominant female and submissive male couple in woodland
• Tuesday – An very overweight male in a hotel bar
• Wednesday – A very fit an muscly black man in woodland
• Thursday – A mature slightly overweight lady in a very run down hotel
• Friday – A cross-dressing man in some parkland

I will be posting more updates in the next week or so and, although I am away for a couple of weeks after that, I hope to schedule these reports to be published while I am away.

I’m fully back online now so feel free to comment on this post or message me by whatever means you want to, I will do my best to reply.

NG Tubes

A nasogastric tube is a narrow bore tube passed into the stomach via the nose. It is used for short or medium term nutritional support toilet duty.

The use of a nasogastric tube is suitable for enteral feeding for up to six weeks human toilets for up to eight hours. Polyurethane or silicone feeding tubes are unaffected by gastric acid and can therefore remain in the stomach for a longer period than PVC tubes, which can only be used for up to two weeks.

A date with a Domme

She hadn’t told me where we would be going, in fact she hadn’t told me much at all other than she would pick me up at 8pm on Friday. She had confirmed that we’d be going for drinks and food but I really struggled to know what to wear because I didn’t know if that meant a pub, a restaurant or a cafe bar or attire what would be appropriate.

Eventually I settled on a black mid-thigh bodycon dress which has quite a low neckline and shows off my modest cleavage nicely. I considered going commando but I thought my ring would be visible through my dress so instead I wore a nice pink Victoria Secret thong underneath and finished it off with some heeled gladiator style sandals.

The picture on the right isn’t me, obviously she is way more attractive, but it is very similar to what I was wearing which would be well overdressed for a pub but I went with it anyway. I did my hair in a thick braid and put on some striking but not too heavy eye makeup. I finished my outfit with a long gold necklace.

I was more nervous than I thought I would be, I’ve had many “encounters” and am not normally nervous but I definitely had a little apprehension while I waited for her to arrive, which she did at ten past eight.

I could see her looking me up and down as I walked to the car and it made me hot between my legs. I had wanted her to know I’d made an effort and the smile she gave when I climbed in told me she appreciated it.

There was some relief when I saw that Fiona had dressed at a similar level to me but her dress was a dark maroon and reached her knee and she had a black bolero over it. Her hair is so gorgeous, hence the image at the top, again it isn’t her but that’s basically what her hair looks like and I’m so jealous of how thick it is.

We made small talk in the car about nothing in particular, just work etc. She definitely has that dominant something about her that really appeals to me. I’ve mentioned this before, especially in rants about dominants, but so many men and women profess to be a Dom(me) but simply don’t have the natural aptitude for it. To properly submit to someone I need to feel the dominance oozing out of them without them even speaking, I felt it with Joanne, I felt it with Kayleigh and as I sat in the car next to Fiona being driven to an unknown location I could feel it from her too, and it was intoxicating.

We eventually arrived at an Italian restaurant which is one of the best restaurants in Cambridge, I’ve only ever been once but it was some of the best Italian food I’ve tasted. We exited the car and I walked around the back, as I joined her she took my hand in her warm one and we walked to the restaurant holding hands. I’ve always been very cautious about revealing my sexuality publicly but she is completely confident in herself and I really liked that, it gave me the confidence to be comfortable with it.

The maître d’ took Fiona’s name and then said “This way Miss [Fiona]” and my mind immediately rolled it around in my head, “Miss [Fiona]…Mistress Fiona…Mistress [Fiona]”, and I quite liked it.

Once seated Fiona ordered a bottle of wine and we looked over the menus, I thought she might try and prevent me from choosing my own food but she didn’t. It would have been a very predictable move and it boded well that she wasn’t being predictable, I liked that, she did however ask me what I had chosen and when the waitress came she ordered her own food and then said “and my date with have the Calamiri to start and the Spiedino de Pollo for her main”.

I smiled at the waitress who’s face faltered just for a second as she realised we were on a date and then she smiled back and went off with our order. My date also had a wry little smile on her face, I wasn’t sure whether she was marking her territory or trying to make me blush but I didn’t rise to it, instead I took a sip of the delicious wine to hide my grin.

We chatted as our starters came and we ended up sharing my squid and her Italian meats, it was all delicious. Whilst we waited for the main course I plucked up the courage and asked her about the time she invaded my shed whilst I was tied up inside it, we’d already discussed how it made me feel but I wanted to know how it came about.

She had been at Hannah’s chatting about me (yes I was now blushing plenty) and Hannah had shown her my blog with me talking about my self torture plans. Whilst Fiona had known about me for a long while through Hannah she was very much intrigued by the content of my blog and between them, after a few glasses of wine, they had decided on the plan of her coming to see me while I was tied up. They thought it would be a fun surprise and add an extra element to the “scene”.

Fiona has since read all of my blog (more blushing, sometimes I seriously regret putting myself on the internet!) and said that she would never have done it if she had known what she knows now. I think that is fair.

We chatted about her while we ate our main course, she is fairly senior manager at a large company (she didn’t want me to say any more than that) and is at a comparable level to myself career wise, she also often works long hours and understands the pressures that come with the sort of jobs we both have. I think that my relationship with Kayleigh suffered greatly because of my job so it was very reassuring to know that Fiona is in a similar position.

She lives about half way between my house and Hannah’s place which means she is only ten minutes drive away (which also means she was clearly late on purpose, noted!) so that is handy.

As the night went on I did start to wonder how it would be if we were together, getting ahead of myself is a huge problem for me, with previous relationships I’ve fallen for them very quickly and all of a sudden I’m way ahead of them in terms of where I think the relationship is. I promised myself this time I would rein myself in so I tried to shake the wayward thoughts of how good it could be from my head.

After the main course Fiona ordered a vanilla pannacotta to share, she had no way of knowing this but it’s my favourite desert so bonus points there! It was nice, sitting talking and sharing the food.

She wouldn’t let me pay a penny for dinner so when we went to a nearby bar after coffee I made sure I paid for the drinks (score one for the sub!) and we stood close to each other at the bar and drank them. She has amazing chocolatey brown eyes, I’m a sucker for eyes and she has truly beautiful ones and I caught myself staring into them a few times while she talked.

I’m quite sure she caught me too because when we were getting to the end of our drinks she suddenly slid her hand around to the small of my back and pulled me hard against her and kissed me deeply and passionately and it felt like it lasted forever. I didn’t want her to stop but she did and when she pulled backI was suddenly very self conscious and started to look around to see who had seen us but she said my name, loud and commanding and told me to look at her, I did without thinking and she smiled and my worry faded away, I smiled back blushing.

We left the bar after just the one drink (she was driving) and headed back to the car. We drove in silence for a couple of minutes during which I ran over the kiss in my mind and then I involuntarily giggled! I looked up at her but she didn’t react, except for a small smile in the corner of her lips, then she placed her hand on my knee and slid it slowly up my leg pushing my dress up until the side of her hand was resting at the crease between my inner thigh and my pussy, I made no move to stop her, I was so wet.

She left her hand there for the whole journey without speaking of it, I subtly spread my legs a little wider as we chatted but her hand didn’t make any more upward progress. When we arrived back outside my house she said “I’ve really enjoyed tonight, I’d like to do it again” and I enthusiastically (probably too enthusiastically) agreed. She kissed me again, just as passionately and then stopped kissing but kept her face an inch from mine while she reached between my legs (which I freely opened, such a slut!) and ran a finger over my pussy.

She was checking if I was wet, which I obviously was, she smiled, I blushed, then she pecked me on the lips and leaned back saying “Out!”. I got out of the car and closed the door as she wound the window down, I leaned over and she said “So I’m stocky?” then rolled her eyes and pulled the car away.

It took me a second to realise what she was talking about but then I realised she read my blog where I said she was “taller than me and a little stockier but still very feminine in shape” and felt so embarrassed. She is definitely NOT stocky! She has a beautiful shaped body that any woman would die for.