Manchester

On occasion Mistress Fiona and I will have a long weekend away somewhere in the UK just for a little break. Obviously that hasn’t been possible so much int he last couple of years but as things are starting to return back to normal we booked an impromptu weekend in sunny Manchester (spoiler: it wasn’t sunny!).

On Friday morning we packed our bags and then as we were about to leave Mistress produced a beautiful polished titanium eternity collar. She had me kneel at her feet as she closed the continuous metal ring around my neck and locked it, making a point of leaving the “key” on the side at home before leading me out of the house.

Titanium Eternity Collar

Even though I wear a collar of some sort all of the time (it can range from a strict leather posture collar to a simple necklace) it was a little daunting realising that I would be wearing this solid metal one all weekend. To some people I guess it could look like a very heavy necklace but really it is quite clearly a collar.

The journey to Manchester, via London, was fairly uneventful. In fact as far as this blog is concerned it was entirely dull! We arrived in Manchester and headed to our hotel which was really lovely (see the cover image).

After unpacking our clothes and making ourselves at home we headed into the city centre to do a bit of shopping (Mistress bought a lovely hat and dress from Ted Baker!) and went for a delicious meal at a Lebanese restaurant. I think that might be the first time I’ve had Lebanese food but it definitely won’t be the last!

After the meal we walked back to the hotel. As soon as we were in the room Fiona undressed me, leaving my coat, dress and underwear in a pool around my feet, and then led me over to the bed. Mistress often likes to have me naked whilst she is fully or mostly dressed and I love it too, it very much puts me in the right headspace as a submissive, I guess psychologically it’s a power exchange things but I don’t feel the need to analyse it too much, we both just enjoy it.

Anyway she then pulled out a black dildo gag which looked kind of like a short double ended dildo with a ball gag type strap towards one end. She moved the gag to my mouth and I obediently opened and took the three inches of so of silicone cock into my mouth and then she pulled the strap around my head and buckled it. It was surprisingly comfortable to wear because the parts that pulled into the sides of my mouth were also soft silicone so even when tightly strapped it didn’t hurt

I watched Mistress pull down and step out of her underwear and then she pulled me to my feet by my new face cock and pushed me backwards onto the bed by it, following me onto it and straddling me as she moved up my body. She gripped my wrists and moved then above my head in one movement and then pinned them there with her knees as she straddled my head.

It’s kind of hard to explain this retrospectively but Mistress is very commanding and I organically know where she wants me to be and it is not in any way awkward even when she is putting me into a specific position, I just kind of end up where she wants me.

My world was suddenly shrunk to only include my owners pussy as she slid onto the dildo protruding from my face and her skirt covered my head casting me into complete darkness.

I really have no idea how long passed but it felt like a long time, well over half an hour if I had to guess. During that time she fucked the dildo and ground her pussy into my face whilst (as I found out later) she watched videos of some of our S&M sessions. On more than one occasion her pussy was pushed into my nose but she knew what she was doing and I always got to breathe in the scent of her arousal again, eventually.

When she finally let me free we fucked vigorously and I fell asleep in her arms with her dried juices coating my face.

After a lie-in in a wonderfully comfortable bed we got up and went down for breakfast before returning to the room for a shower. Once Mistress had finished I went for my own shower ensuring I was properly clean inside and out as always.

When I emerged from the (admittedly quite long shower) I found Mistress fully dressed and ready to leave. I panicked a little thinking I was about to get in trouble for keeping her waiting but she smiled a smile that I know all too well and my heart sank and did somersaults all at the same time, a feeling only my wife can create in me!

I was led to a the end of the bed which was sort of a thoroughfare between the bed and the TV/desk area. I was placed on my knees and then bent forward with my arms above my head so that my bum was raised up a little. It is known as the “humble” position as in the picture although my ass was lower down and my knees further forward and spread wider which had the effect of parting my lips and cheeks exposing my holes. I was then blindfolded and told not to move before I heard the door open and then close again.

This is a position I find extremely humiliating and am also quite familiar with, Mistress regularly has me assume it often for long periods of time. The longest I have held it for was five hours during which a party started and ended and I served as a mere ornament. I wore ear plus the whole time and was trapped in my own head wondering who was observing me, photographing me, visually violating the most intimate parts of my body and only towards the end did this give way to the struggle simple to be Mistress’ ornament. It was an experience that stayed with me and while I still find the position very humiliating, especially when I know people other than Mistress can see me, but when it is just us, I can now find a fairly profound (if horny) and dare I say humble peace holding it for her.

What I didn’t know at the time but do know now is that when Fiona left the room she hung the “Make Up Room” sign on the door handle! Attached to the sign was a post it note which said (and I quote!):

To housekeeping, my wife is in this room in a state of undress that you may find offensive. If you think you will do so then please come back after midday when neither of us will be in the room. However if you choose to enter and make up the room whilst ignoring her you will find a generous gratuity on the desk for the inconvenience and discretion. Kind regards, Mistress Fiona.

The ultimate test of my submission to Mistress is always the times when in a moment my body and often mind is screaming at me to move or stop but through a combination of my willpower and need to please her I don’t. This could be holding a position while she brings the cane down one more time on my welted ass, pushing a needle through my own tongue or staying perfectly still when the hotel room door opens to a view of my stretched open holes.

At first I thought, wished, hoped it was Fiona who had returned to the room but as I held my breath and my heart thumped in my chest I heard a little giggle that was absolutely not Mistress! The urge to cover yourself is instinctive and I’ve had to learn to supress it which is what I did at this point. My cheeks (on my face) burnt red as the humiliation washed over me but at the same time my nipples were hardening and my extremely exposed pussy was warming and dampening.

As I listened to her cleaning up the bathroom I wondered if she had left the door open as maids often do, I couldn’t remember if I’d heard it close behind her and I knew if it was open any passer by could look in and see.

The deep burning humiliation intensified as she finished in the bathroom and proceeded to remake the bed. Moving around it purposefully but stepping past me more times than I would have thought necessary and close enough that I could feel the hem of her skin brushing against my naked skin. Each time it happened the sensation was heightened by my situation and it felt intense.

After what felt like an eternity but was likely no more than ten minutes the activity stopped, I heard some scratching and then I jumped a little as I felt her touch me on my lower back just above my ass crack. Then the door opened and closed (at this point I realised that at least I hadn’t been exposed to the corridor the whole time) and I was alone again with my thoughts and my very wet pussy!

While I was waiting I realised that she had left something on me but as I wasn’t allowed to move I had no way of knowing what it was. When Mistress returned she took a photo and showed me the post it note saying “Thank you for the tip” that had been stuck just above my ass with a chocolate placed on top of it.

Fiona said I still looked very flushed when she let me up from the floor and was very pleased with how her plan had worked out as well as how wet I was when she put her hand between my legs. I was very much hoping she would reward me but instead we left the hotel ten minutes later and the nice warm damp feeling was turned into it’s own torture by the cool autumn air.

We spent the afternoon shopping, at first we visited some very nice high end lingerie stores where Mistress chose a gorgeous and very expensive black teddy with cut outs in the side which she very graciously allowed me to buy for her. Then we went to a somewhat less high end lingerie store that could probably more accurately be described as a sex shop and picked out some underwear for me. A black lacy quarter cup bra (a bra that holds your boobs without really covering them) and a barely there g-string both made out of the cheapest material you can think of which Mistress also generously allowed me to pay for!

Mistress looked amazing in her new lingerie when we were getting ready for the evening, my underwear, if you could call it that, was…..unfortunate to say the least! The gave me a bit of cleavage but not much else and was generally uncomfortable, the g-string (basically a tiny strip of material that ran around my waist, down between my ass cheeks and between my lips ending in about an inch triangle of material) was very uncomfortable. It was so tight that it looked like it disappeared into my pussy and then magically reappeared at the top of my ass cheeks!

The meal out was lovely but uneventful aside from me feeling very self conscious of my pieced nipples being very visible through the top of my dress. However when we got back to the hotel and entered the lift (aka elevator) Fiona pulled a dog lead (aka dog leash) from her bag and attached it to my collar as I looked at her and my cheeks pinked slightly.

The doors opened and I followed her out but she stopped and without turning to look at me said ”that’s not how dogs walk”. I obviously knew what she meant and was also conscious of where we were and how public a setting it was as well, but what could I do? I knelt and then moved to an all fours position and as soon as I did Mistress continued walking at a pace that allowed me to crawl behind her and keep some slack in the lead, only bad dogs pull on the lead!

As I crawled along the corridor with my ass in the air and my dress riding up to expose the black floss running between my cheeks and lips our room seemed much further from the lifts that it had any of the previous times we had walked to it. It’s hard to describe the feeling of doing something so very publicly humiliating knowing anyone could walk out of one of the many rooms and exit the lifts and see you like that. There is a very heady mix of excitement and fear, a lot of fear, but also for someone in my position an inevitability because while, technically, I can say no in reality that was really never an option.

Looking up at Mistress from a position of submissiveness always gives me a particular feeling that I love, it’s a feeling of contentedness and belonging I guess and crawling along an expensive hotel corridor was no different despite the other feelings I describe above. I love her so much for so many reasons but a big one is that she knows how to make me feel….me! I guess it’s weird to imagine me feeling an overwhelming love for her whilst she is putting me in such a predicament but there you go.

We eventually reached the door but rather than going straight in she had me kneel in front of it whilst she lifted my dress over my head and placed the handle of the lead in my mouth, which I gripped obediently with my teeth. I watched her evil grin as the door closed behind her and couldn’t help but let a small smile spread across my lips before I was left basically naked kneeling in a hotel corridor.

My heart went into overdrive a minute later when a door between me and lifts opened and voices emerged. I kept my eyes trained on the light emanating from the bottom of our door whilst the voices rescinded towards the lift and just hoped they didn’t look back down the corridor, whether they did or not I’ll never know.

When the door opened again several minutes later Mistress was wearing just her new lingerie and after gently taking the lead’s handle from my mouth led me into the room. I’m going to keep what happened after that private but suffice to say that scissoring from a long time whilst only one of you is allowed to cum (and it’s not you) is physically and mentally exhausting. I fell asleep wet, horny and physically unsatisfied but very happy to have satiated my owner.

The next day after breakfast we had to pack and vacate the room but just before we did Mistress had me lean on a chair whilst she slid my knickers off and pushed a heavy metal plug into my ass. I didn’t know which plug it was at the time (we have many!) but this particular one says “OWNED BY MISTRESS FIONA” in pink letters on a black background on it’s head, I guess so that anyone who sees it knows who my asshole belongs to!

The Manchester Bee

We had a great time in Manchester, it is a lovely city that we found we really liked, load of nice bars and restaurants and our hotel was perfect. We did some fun play some of which we wouldn’t feel as comfortable doing closer to home and generally had a good time.

The only thing that took the shine off a little was at Piccadilly train station, Mistress saw a guy staring at me (which, btw guys, is sexual harassment in itself) and decided to possessively kiss me to let him know who I belonged to (clearly he hadn’t seen my plug!), his response to this was to shout “Fucking dykes” at us, which was as unpleasant as it sounds.

Time to come back?

The last time I wrote a proper post I was about to get married and now we’ve just celebrated our two year anniversary!

And what a strange time it’s been! Fingers crossed we’re nearly done with it though, I’ve had one jab and it won’t be too long before I have my second one.

I’ve been thinking for a while that I’d quite like to get back to writing again, I’ve got no idea if anyone really looks here anymore or if it would be “successful” but I always found writing this blog fairly cathartic and very much enjoyed the back and forth in the comments and I miss that.

I was talking to a friend the other day (Slave Mila) and she encouraged me to get back into it and I told her about a little funny story that we thought might make a good post.

A few weeks ago I was reading a book when Mistress came into the room and told me to get up and follow her. I did and she lead me to the cupboard under the stairs and told me to get into the cupboard and stay there until morning!

I was kind of shocked, I wasn’t aware of having done anything to deserve a punishment but decided that rather than questioning it (and potentially getting myself in more trouble) I’d just go with it.

This cupboard is basically a dumping ground of stuff and all the floor space in it taken up with…well, stuff. I managed to get in and she immediately closed the door putting me into pitch darkness.

I just stood there for a few minutes kind of bewildered and then I tried to move some things around so I could at least sit down (I sat on a cardboard box which I later found out held a spare water thing for the coffee machine, and high I broke).

Time rolled on and I started to realise this Miss wasn’t coming back for me and I made some more space resigning myself to sleeping in the hot and cramped space.

I slept curled around the recycling bin with my head a bunch of carrier bags for a pillow (not my best idea, noisiest pillow ever!) and eventually in the morning the door opened and I found a cup of coffee writhing for me as I crawled out on all fours squinting at the bright light. I’d been in the cupboard for nearly twelve hours.

Mistress watched me crawl out from the breakfast bar with a wicked smile on her face and I joined her there. She enquired “sleep well?” and I replied “yes fine thanks, you?” (I don’t always like to give her the satisfaction!) and she just smiled.

Once I’d finished my coffee I ask “Are you going to tell me why you put me in the cupboard?”. Her reply was “No real reason, I was bored. I thought you’d come out to ask why and then I’d let you off but you didn’t so I just let you stay there.”

I realised that I hadn’t really thought about or worried about what I’d done to end up in the predicament, I’d just got on with it. I was kind of pleased with myself for that, also furious with Mistress!

This is a perfect example of how she loves to mess with me, she is the queen of the mind fuck and while I don’t always enjoy it at the time, it certainly keeps things interesting between us!

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into our married lives together tame though this tale may be. I’d love to hear from people in the comments and I’ll try and write some more soon x

Good Morning Miss Lois

This post refers to things that happened back in December 2016, I started to write this post but didn’t finish it however the events here are relevant to things that I will write about soon so I decided to finish this first.

My Mistresses friend wanted his straight sub to be trained to service girls and between them they had come up with the plan of having me show her the ropes.

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I’m a terrible teacher, this is a long running joke amongst my friends and family, if I try to teach anyone anything I end up getting frustrated and annoyed and it usually ends badly. However, teaching another girl to give me sexual pleasure didn’t sound like the worst way to spend a Saturday so I was happy enough to take on the challenge.

After Miss Fiona left in the morning I took a shower and put on some make up, perfume and a little short summer dress. I didn’t bother with underwear, I’d turned the heating up to make sure it was nice and warm I didn’t expect to be wearing my clothes all that long anyway.

The other sub, Sophie, arrived exactly on time at 9am and it was a little awkward as I let her in and showed her into the living room. She was in her late twenties, blonde long hair in a braid, blue eyes and wearing jeans and a pink vest top over her black underwear.

I made us both a cup of tea and sat next to her while we drank and chatted a little about ourselves and our Dominants, she seemed quite embarrassed talking about it and admitted she was very nervous about this. She said she had never felt any attraction to other women at all and wasn’t sure how she felt about being made to do this. She kept tight hold of her cup with both hands long after she’d finished her tea as if it was a shield in front of her.

I reached over and took the cup from her and nudged myself closer as I placed it on the table, then I turned back and slid my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her to me. I kissed her deeply, forcing my tongue into her reluctant mouth and exploring with it as my free hand ran down her back and squeezed her ass cheek.

Eventually I could feel the tension begin to drain from her body and I pulled her tighter against me, my breasts pushing against her bigger ones and her hands, which up until now had stayed flat on the sofa, wrapped around the small of my back and her tongue began it’s own tentative explorations.

The kiss lasted about five minutes and she kept her eyes closed the entire time, I’m not sure if she was imagining her Dom or some other attractive guy or whether she was just getting into it, I’d like to think the latter! I broke it off and whispered in her ear “go up to the bedroom, take your clothes off, put on the blindfold and lie on the bed”, she looked at me blushing and a little flustered and then nodded and left the room.

So far so good, my plan was working:

1. Get her horny with a passionate kiss, because everyone likes kissing! – Check
2. Activate her submissive side by ordering her about – Check

I gave her a few minutes to get herself ready and then I followed her upstairs, she was lying on my bed naked and wearing the blindfold as I’d instructed, her legs were tightly closed and her arms were by her sides with her palms up, she was breathing a little heavily.

As I stripped my dress off as I approached her and then I took her ankles in my hands, causing her to jump, and pushed them so she bent her knees and then spread them so that her legs were spread wide and I could see her pussy which was already a little puffy and wet, apparently it had been a good kiss. Time for number three on my checklist:

3. Give her an orgasm…or two

I gently kissed her inner calf and kept going up, kissing all the way until my cheek brushed her pussy lips as I moved back down and started up the other leg. When I kissed her thighs I could smell and taste the perfume she had sprayed there and was reassured by the fact that she had gone to some effort for me, my final kiss was on her tidy little pussy.

I slid my arms under her legs and held her thighs as I slid my tongue from her ass hole right up deeply between her lips and when I went over her clit she let out quite a loud moan. It is my firm belief that no man can go down on a girl as well as another girl can and I thoroughly introduced Sophie to that concept as I pleasured every part of her pussy with my mouth, fucking her with my tongue and sucking her little clit into my mouth before giving it a gentle bite. She was writhing around on my bed and her flat palms had turned into balled fists grasping handfuls of the duvet as she came with her clit between my lips.

I crawled up her body kissing it as I went, taking a moment to run my tongue around each of her nipples before deeply kissing her again, letting her taste her pussy on my lips and in my mouth. She had her eyes open this time and her cheeks were crimson, I’m not sure if it was from pleasure or embarrassment but she was eagerly kissing me back as I slipped my hand between her legs.

I was careful not to touch her clit directly, it would be too sensitive for now, instead I circled it with my thumb whilst I slowly pushed two fingers in and out of her hole, straight girls are so easy to please!

When I’d got her good and close I rolled over pulling her on top of me and then pushed her head down, She resisted at first until I told her to suck on my nipples and then almost immediately she went to work:

4. Initiate first contact with another girls body

She was good at it, her tongue circled my nipple teasingly and then she sucked it into her lips and bit gently in the same way I’d done to her. Her mouth was hot and her tongue flicked over my nipple in just the right way, I was very wet.

I let her spend five minutes pleasuring each of my nipples because I knew she was reluctant to take the next step and, well, it felt good! But she was here to learn and I was there to teach so without speaking I placed my hand in her hair and pushed her head down.

5. Make her take the plunge!

She ran her tongue up my slit barely touching me like she was scared of the taste, the tip of her tongue running just between my lips. The second lick though was stronger, a tiny bit more confident as gently pulled my lips apart with her fingers. I left her to it, she didn’t need instructions yet, she knew what feels good and she went with that, circling my clit with her tongue and then sucking it in replicating her actions with my nipples, it felt good and I let her continue for a while whilst I moaned.

Eventually I pushed gently on her head and said “push your tongue into me, fuck me with it”. To her credit she didn’t hesitate, I don’t know if she was getting into it or if she had just decided to go for it but her tongue pushed into me and I moaned louder. She had me close but I need clit stimulation to cum so I told her to suck my clit, then to bite it and I came and closed my legs round her head and she continued to lick until the tension left my body again.

She crawled back up me, her face was covered in my juices and this time I could tell her red cheeks were from embarrassment, I said “thank you” and kissed her before moving her to my side. I took her hand and pushed it between my open legs placing my hand on top of hers so I could guide her fingers to where I wanted them.

As I did with her I controlled her fingers to circle and rub and then when I was close again I moved my hand between her legs so that we fingered each other. I controlled my orgasm as best I could until I saw she was ready and then we came together, both clamping our legs together on other others hand.

We lay in each others arms for a while after that, I didn’t look at her because I knew she was embarrassed to be in this situation with another girl. I know the first time I was with a woman I was very confused about how good it felt even though at the time I firmly believed myself to be 100% straight.

She spoke first saying “you’re so good at this, it felt so good, I don’t think I’ve come like that before”. I didn’t really know what to say but before I could speak she said “but I’m straight, I fancy men, it’s just….I don’t know, I liked it”. I told her that it didn’t matter, it didn’t have to mean anything, it’s just sex and fingers are fingers.

I felt like her at first until I let go of it, now I can enjoy sex with any gender because I can completely separate out sex from love and emotional connections. I accept that isn’t how everyone sees it and that it isn’t “right” for everyone but it works for me.

6. 6. Try some more advanced positions

As the picture at the top suggests I wanted to teach her three things; oral, fingering and the last one was “tribbing”. I left this until last because I think it is a lot more intimate than the other two, it is something that I’ve only every really done with someone I am with rather than with play partners and to be honest I was a little reluctant to do it with someone I just met.

It would get us both into trouble if I didn’t do it though so whilst we laid there I explained what we’d be doing next and then I began to kiss her again to get the mood back.

We positioned ourselves facing each other and put our right legs over the others left so that we could move forward until our pussies pushed against each other and then I started to grind. The obvious intimacy comes from rubbing your pussies together but emotionally your faces are very close together, it’s almost impossible not to look into each others eyes as you pleasure each other.

I didn’t want to kiss whilst we did this, it didn’t feel quite right so I made sure I kept my face a safe distance away. It took her a few minutes of only receiving before she got into it enough to start grinding back and then we were both into it full on.

We ground our increasingly wet pussies together for about fifteen minutes before we came and both collapsed back onto the bed.

I left her to take a shower whilst put my dress back on and went down stairs to make us another cup of tea. When she came down she’d gone all shy again, she didn’t seem to want to talk about what we’d happened and I settled for the fact that she said she thought she would be able to make a girl cum now and look like she knew what she was doing whilst achieving that. She thanked me and we hugged before she left.

About a week later Mistress and I attended a party where Sophie’s Dom had her pleasure one of the Dommes, she was highly successful and my Miss was very pleased with me.

Finger discipline

I’ve mentioned on plenty of occasions how I believe my body betrays me at every available opportunity. To be honest I’m not entirely sure if it is my body itself or if it is my subconscious that is doing the betrayal and my body is just jumping on the band wagon or following orders, it’s hard to tell. It’s a little scary to be honest because I do think that my subconscious has a little too much control over my body.

Normal people leave bodily functions such as breathing and their heart pumping to the parts of their brain that can act without conscious thought and that is fine but I am starting to believe that my own version has slightly larger aspirations than just keeping me alive.

For those that don’t know what muscle memory is I’ll give a definition:

the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement.

So things like typing or driving use muscle memory heavily so that you don’t have to think about what your hands and feet are doing, you can just concentrate on what you’re writing or where you are going.

Over the past year or so Mistress has been teaching me, more like training me really, to act in the way that she wants. I relish this and take genuine pride in behaving how she expects with very little input required from her especially when I can see that it pleases her. I’ve mentioned before that she can tell me to open my legs and by the time my brain has registered what she has said my legs are already open and recently she told me why.

For months now every time she told me to open my legs (which is quite often by the way!) she has opened them for me as she said the words. Not before, not after but as she spoke the words she pulled my knees apart. I honestly didn’t notice at the time, I’ve long since become used to her touching me and moving my body and just accept it, and it never occurred to me that she was building an association in my subconscious between those words and that action.

Mistress also told me that there are other associations that she has built or is in the process of building in my brain but she refused to tell me what they are, she said it is none of my business. I’m not convinced that is technically true but anyway…

There are other things that I have learnt which are less ingrained but I still believe she has indoctrinated into me. For example if she points at the floor that is a subtle signal for me to kneel at her feet, if she points with the left hand I kneel on the left and vice versa. This sort of thing is very useful for her to assert her control in vanilla settings. At Christmas we were all at my mother’s house, Mistress sat on the sofa and subtly pointed at the floor in front of her. Despite there being several seats free I knelt by her legs much to the confusion of my mother who asked why I didn’t sit on a seat, I just replied that I liked it on the floor which fortunately she accepted without much argument.

Whilst kneeling isn’t something my body does without my input (thankfully!) there is a subconscious element to it. It’s not just following a predefined command, when I see her make that gesture I want to kneel there for her and there is a certain amount of compulsion for me to comply.

Anyway, this is all background and not the point of this post. The reason I went off on this tangent is to demonstrate that I, the neural pathways that constitute the Lois personality, cannot always be held responsible for my actions and therefore it is not my fault that I was awoken on Saturday morning by my own moans with two fingers pushed inside my dripping wet pussy!

Mistress was well and truly awake, propped up on her elbow and had been watching my unconscious masturbation for several minutes when I started to come around (pun intended!). Her first words to me that morning were “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”, which sounds mean but she did have a huge grin on her face when she said it.

I quickly pulled my hand out from under my slip but didn’t know what to do with it, my fingers were coated in juices. Mistress grabbed my hand and wiped my fingers over my face and then she jumped out of bed still holding my wrist and pulling me across it until I almost fell onto the floor out of her side.

I managed to get my feet on the floor and she pulled me around to the foot of the bed and bent me over to lean on it, I knew what was coming and in the hope of winning some favour I reached back and lifted my slip over my ass. This is Mistresses favourite punishment caning position.

In case you weren’t aware I have a bit of a masochist streak so getting whipped, cropped, paddled, flogged and caned isn’t usually an effective punishment or deterrent for me, In fact in less disciplined times I may have intentionally earned such “punishments” however they have usually started with maybe some flogging, then a few paddles and then once I’m warmed up the hot sting of the cane.

Mistresses punishment canings are somewhat different in that they begin with twenty or so full forced swats to my unprepared ass and then end. Whilst I’m usually wet when she’s finished (I refer you back to my opening statement regarding my bodies constant betrayals) they are definitely a punishment and neither the act itself nor trying to sit down at any point in the following few hours is enjoyable…….well maybe a tiny bit! Sssshhhh!

So my Saturday started with a bang, twenty bangs, but then the whole incident seemed to be forgotten. Mistress and I went to Miss Hannah’s house that evening (I may write about that later) and then had quite a relaxing Sunday. However that evening I learn the real punishment for my transgressions.

Mistress claims that this isn’t a punishment but rather an aid to assist in my training to be a better submissive and to control my “wanton sluttiness” better. Every night since Sunday at 10pm I have been locked in my chastity belt until 7am the next morning.

Apparently I have put on a little weight (although I am still within the narrow weight guidelines that Mistress has prescribed for me) because the belt feels quite tight, especially around my pussy which feels sort of “squashed” when I have the belt on. This is a custom-made, very effective chastity belt so it definitely preventing my wandering fingers in the night but it certainly doesn’t allow a comfortable sleep.

Mistress says that if I’m good I will only have to wear it a week but if “the issue” recurs then “we” might need to look at a longer term solution. She left it at that which kind of scares the crap out of me and leaves me massively turned on to be honest!

So, to you the jury, can I honestly be held responsible for the actions of my so-called subconscious? Is it really me who is culpable for the nocturnal masturbation’s of my unconscious body? Or should these charges be thrown out with prejudice?

The defence rests Your Honour.

 

Ruination

In the few weeks since I have been home from the states Mistress has discovered something that seems to bring her great joy and it is something, perhaps surprisingly, that I’d never really heard of before.

It started off one morning before we’d even got up, she moved my hands above my head and slid her fingers between my legs which opened eagerly despite me still being half asleep. She found me already a little wet (who knows what I’d been dreaming about!) and gave my pussy a few spanks for “being such a slut”, by which time I was very much awake!

After the spanks she started to circle my clit int he expert way she does and before long I was pushing back at her fingers as she brought me closer and closer. As my hands gripped around handfuls of bed sheet I begged “Oooohh Mistress please can I come?” and she said yes and I let me orgasm go. However, as I did she stopped all stimulation and just held my legs apart.

It’s a bizarre sensation, it’s like your orgasm happens but without the ecstasy, pleasure or release and you’re left feeling incredible unsatisfied and frustrated. That first time I also felt some anger boil up inside me although I didn’t show it, I just let out a panicked and sharp “Noooo!” as my eyes flew open to stare at Mistresses smiling face and she said “Frustrating isn’t it?” and then jumped out of bed leaving me panting and squirming.

I later discovered she’d done it to herself while I was away to see what it was like and had decided there and then it was something she wanted to inflict on me. As regular readers will know, whilst I was single I masturbated twice a day on average and Mistress believes this was extremely self-indulgent and completely unacceptable for a sub. Since I have been hers she has weened me down to cuming only once every other day and only with her permission, usually with her direct involvement.

I’d heard of male ruined orgasms before, basically just stop touching as they cum and their cock spasm and cums but without any continued stimulation it isn’t particularly enjoyable. The same thing for girls was new to me though and I have to say it is really horrible. Every single time I think I won’t let myself get to into it because I know she’s going to ruin it but then every time I get to a point where I’m just all about getting to the orgasm that she then ruins!

She has process for it now, I kneel with my legs spread and the palms of my hands resting right at the top of my inner thighs, basically as close to my pussy as they can get without touching it. Then she uses her expert skills to bring me to the edge, waits for me to ask and then ruins it, it’s torture quite unlike anything I’ve experienced before. It is so hard to maintain my position, my fingers just next to my clit, knowing the slightest touch would prevent the intense frustration.

On Christmas Eve, despite my Mother and Sister being in the house with us she gave me multiple ruins and I was particularly grumpy that night. Then. on Christmas morning after a massively frustrating day before she gave me a real orgasm and I had to bite the pillow to stop me screaming it was so good and I spent the day in the best mood ever!

At the moment I am getting daily ruins and one orgasm per week, it’s really hard to cope with but I am managing so far. A couple of times she has accidentally pushed me over the edge and not stopped in time, those are possible the most fun orgasms because they are naughty but not my fault, event though I get pussy slaps for them.

So that is Mistresses new favourite thing and unfortunately she is getting really good at it, I haven’t had a real orgasm all week and am looking forward to her allowing me one over the weekend, I’m smiling just thinking about it!

A few people have tried guessing which goal I have succeeded in completing already, some got it right and some didn’t but I will be writing about it soon I promise!

Digital detox

I really don’t know why anyone follows this blog! I’m terribly inconsistent with writing posts and while I’ve apologised more times then I can count for it I’ve never got any better at posting regularly!

My excuse this time is that I needed a bit of a break from my online presence. I don’t want to imply that I’m more than what I am, I’m not any sort of online celebrity like has been suggested by some and despite appearances I’m not a particularly big attention seeker, although I am a little bit 🙂

I have Twitter, Tumblr, Collar Space, this blog, email and it was all getting a bit much to keep up with so I took a break.

It my own choice, not because I was ordered to by any new Mistress that some have speculated I have either! Yes I am still seeing Fiona and yes it is going well but no she didn’t order me to stop speaking to people online or anything like that. In fact she is happy for us to have an open relationship at the moment as she already has “other commitments” as well.

Whilst I haven’t been online in my usual ways recently I have been having some fun, at least one eagle eyed reader saw a post I made on a website relating to something I did a couple of weeks ago which fulfilled a couple of things from my fantasies list.

This is something I’ve thought about doing for a long time but haven’t got round to arranging until recently, or rather having someone else arrange. The premise was this; I would post an advert on a dogging website inviting people to “apply” to use me for whatever they wanted for one night (or actually a few hours) and five successful applicants would get to do what they wanted on five consecutive nights. The applications would go to a third party (who will remain anonymous) and they would organise all the details, all I’d know is where to be and when each night.

Here is the advert, which was written by me but edited and approved by the person who organised it:

I am a female submissive masochist in her early thirties and based in Cambridgeshire who craves cruel humiliation, degradation and rough use by strangers. I have brown hair, am 5′ 9″ with a slim build.To fulfil these needs a Dominant has instructed me to post this advert.

I am looking for singles or couples of any gender/colour/age/weight/etc who would enjoy playing with me one night next week (5th – 9th September 2016) with no strings attached. The Dominant will choose from those who reply to this advert (assuming anyone does!) and I will play with one each night next week.

This is a genuine offer and I am very excited about it.

If this interests you, please reply to this advert before midnight on Thursday and include the following:

• A little detail about yourself
• A picture of yourself
• Broadly what you would like to do with me
• Where you would like to meet
• Your email address (important!)

I will forward all replies (without reading them) to the Dominant who will choose the five for me to play with and contact (hence needing your email address) them directly to arrange the details, I will not be involved in the selection process and will be submissive to you when I arrive at the designated meeting place (hotel/woodland/public bathrooms).

Again, this is a genuine offer so only genuine and sensible replies with all the information requested please.

The website that I posted this on has a mailbox and mine was pretty much full for the next few days which ended up equating to twenty “applications” being made, all describing what they wanted to do with me.

I’d obviously discussed this with the person who organised the evenings in advance and I knew he would be finding the people and events that would be the most horrible for me but also vetting the people to make sure I’d be safe and that my identity would be safe, for instance the people involved have no idea about this blog.

The week was amazing, I came away having enjoyed doing some disgusting things, in private and public places all with complete strangers. I am in the process of writing reports for the person who arranged it and he has agreed that I can post them here once he has read them. In the meantime, here is a little description of who I met each night and where:

• Monday – A mid 30’s Dominant female and submissive male couple in woodland
• Tuesday – An very overweight male in a hotel bar
• Wednesday – A very fit an muscly black man in woodland
• Thursday – A mature slightly overweight lady in a very run down hotel
• Friday – A cross-dressing man in some parkland

I will be posting more updates in the next week or so and, although I am away for a couple of weeks after that, I hope to schedule these reports to be published while I am away.

I’m fully back online now so feel free to comment on this post or message me by whatever means you want to, I will do my best to reply.

NG Tubes

A nasogastric tube is a narrow bore tube passed into the stomach via the nose. It is used for short or medium term nutritional support toilet duty.

The use of a nasogastric tube is suitable for enteral feeding for up to six weeks human toilets for up to eight hours. Polyurethane or silicone feeding tubes are unaffected by gastric acid and can therefore remain in the stomach for a longer period than PVC tubes, which can only be used for up to two weeks.

A date with a Domme

She hadn’t told me where we would be going, in fact she hadn’t told me much at all other than she would pick me up at 8pm on Friday. She had confirmed that we’d be going for drinks and food but I really struggled to know what to wear because I didn’t know if that meant a pub, a restaurant or a cafe bar or attire what would be appropriate.

Eventually I settled on a black mid-thigh bodycon dress which has quite a low neckline and shows off my modest cleavage nicely. I considered going commando but I thought my ring would be visible through my dress so instead I wore a nice pink Victoria Secret thong underneath and finished it off with some heeled gladiator style sandals.

The picture on the right isn’t me, obviously she is way more attractive, but it is very similar to what I was wearing which would be well overdressed for a pub but I went with it anyway. I did my hair in a thick braid and put on some striking but not too heavy eye makeup. I finished my outfit with a long gold necklace.

I was more nervous than I thought I would be, I’ve had many “encounters” and am not normally nervous but I definitely had a little apprehension while I waited for her to arrive, which she did at ten past eight.

I could see her looking me up and down as I walked to the car and it made me hot between my legs. I had wanted her to know I’d made an effort and the smile she gave when I climbed in told me she appreciated it.

There was some relief when I saw that Fiona had dressed at a similar level to me but her dress was a dark maroon and reached her knee and she had a black bolero over it. Her hair is so gorgeous, hence the image at the top, again it isn’t her but that’s basically what her hair looks like and I’m so jealous of how thick it is.

We made small talk in the car about nothing in particular, just work etc. She definitely has that dominant something about her that really appeals to me. I’ve mentioned this before, especially in rants about dominants, but so many men and women profess to be a Dom(me) but simply don’t have the natural aptitude for it. To properly submit to someone I need to feel the dominance oozing out of them without them even speaking, I felt it with Joanne, I felt it with Kayleigh and as I sat in the car next to Fiona being driven to an unknown location I could feel it from her too, and it was intoxicating.

We eventually arrived at an Italian restaurant which is one of the best restaurants in Cambridge, I’ve only ever been once but it was some of the best Italian food I’ve tasted. We exited the car and I walked around the back, as I joined her she took my hand in her warm one and we walked to the restaurant holding hands. I’ve always been very cautious about revealing my sexuality publicly but she is completely confident in herself and I really liked that, it gave me the confidence to be comfortable with it.

The maître d’ took Fiona’s name and then said “This way Miss [Fiona]” and my mind immediately rolled it around in my head, “Miss [Fiona]…Mistress Fiona…Mistress [Fiona]”, and I quite liked it.

Once seated Fiona ordered a bottle of wine and we looked over the menus, I thought she might try and prevent me from choosing my own food but she didn’t. It would have been a very predictable move and it boded well that she wasn’t being predictable, I liked that, she did however ask me what I had chosen and when the waitress came she ordered her own food and then said “and my date with have the Calamiri to start and the Spiedino de Pollo for her main”.

I smiled at the waitress who’s face faltered just for a second as she realised we were on a date and then she smiled back and went off with our order. My date also had a wry little smile on her face, I wasn’t sure whether she was marking her territory or trying to make me blush but I didn’t rise to it, instead I took a sip of the delicious wine to hide my grin.

We chatted as our starters came and we ended up sharing my squid and her Italian meats, it was all delicious. Whilst we waited for the main course I plucked up the courage and asked her about the time she invaded my shed whilst I was tied up inside it, we’d already discussed how it made me feel but I wanted to know how it came about.

She had been at Hannah’s chatting about me (yes I was now blushing plenty) and Hannah had shown her my blog with me talking about my self torture plans. Whilst Fiona had known about me for a long while through Hannah she was very much intrigued by the content of my blog and between them, after a few glasses of wine, they had decided on the plan of her coming to see me while I was tied up. They thought it would be a fun surprise and add an extra element to the “scene”.

Fiona has since read all of my blog (more blushing, sometimes I seriously regret putting myself on the internet!) and said that she would never have done it if she had known what she knows now. I think that is fair.

We chatted about her while we ate our main course, she is fairly senior manager at a large company (she didn’t want me to say any more than that) and is at a comparable level to myself career wise, she also often works long hours and understands the pressures that come with the sort of jobs we both have. I think that my relationship with Kayleigh suffered greatly because of my job so it was very reassuring to know that Fiona is in a similar position.

She lives about half way between my house and Hannah’s place which means she is only ten minutes drive away (which also means she was clearly late on purpose, noted!) so that is handy.

As the night went on I did start to wonder how it would be if we were together, getting ahead of myself is a huge problem for me, with previous relationships I’ve fallen for them very quickly and all of a sudden I’m way ahead of them in terms of where I think the relationship is. I promised myself this time I would rein myself in so I tried to shake the wayward thoughts of how good it could be from my head.

After the main course Fiona ordered a vanilla pannacotta to share, she had no way of knowing this but it’s my favourite desert so bonus points there! It was nice, sitting talking and sharing the food.

She wouldn’t let me pay a penny for dinner so when we went to a nearby bar after coffee I made sure I paid for the drinks (score one for the sub!) and we stood close to each other at the bar and drank them. She has amazing chocolatey brown eyes, I’m a sucker for eyes and she has truly beautiful ones and I caught myself staring into them a few times while she talked.

I’m quite sure she caught me too because when we were getting to the end of our drinks she suddenly slid her hand around to the small of my back and pulled me hard against her and kissed me deeply and passionately and it felt like it lasted forever. I didn’t want her to stop but she did and when she pulled backI was suddenly very self conscious and started to look around to see who had seen us but she said my name, loud and commanding and told me to look at her, I did without thinking and she smiled and my worry faded away, I smiled back blushing.

We left the bar after just the one drink (she was driving) and headed back to the car. We drove in silence for a couple of minutes during which I ran over the kiss in my mind and then I involuntarily giggled! I looked up at her but she didn’t react, except for a small smile in the corner of her lips, then she placed her hand on my knee and slid it slowly up my leg pushing my dress up until the side of her hand was resting at the crease between my inner thigh and my pussy, I made no move to stop her, I was so wet.

She left her hand there for the whole journey without speaking of it, I subtly spread my legs a little wider as we chatted but her hand didn’t make any more upward progress. When we arrived back outside my house she said “I’ve really enjoyed tonight, I’d like to do it again” and I enthusiastically (probably too enthusiastically) agreed. She kissed me again, just as passionately and then stopped kissing but kept her face an inch from mine while she reached between my legs (which I freely opened, such a slut!) and ran a finger over my pussy.

She was checking if I was wet, which I obviously was, she smiled, I blushed, then she pecked me on the lips and leaned back saying “Out!”. I got out of the car and closed the door as she wound the window down, I leaned over and she said “So I’m stocky?” then rolled her eyes and pulled the car away.

It took me a second to realise what she was talking about but then I realised she read my blog where I said she was “taller than me and a little stockier but still very feminine in shape” and felt so embarrassed. She is definitely NOT stocky! She has a beautiful shaped body that any woman would die for.

So I had a date…

I had a really good time on Friday night, I had a date with Hannah’s Domme friend who’s name is Fiona. We went to a bar for some drinks and then out for a meal and then for more drinks! I’m going to write a full post about it tomorrow hopefully.

I’m still writing up the post about the party and the plaster cast etc but it is taking a while and I haven’t had much spare time and it really does take a lot of time to write those long posts, I will finish it asap though.

That’s it for now, I just wanted to say hello and let people know more is on the way and that I am quite happy and cautiously optimistic about this new person in my life.

Doldrums

I’ve been very “off” the last few weeks and am only just getting back to feeling like myself, I mentioned it in my last post but thought I was getting back on track at the time, it turns out it went on a lot longer.

A few things have happened whilst that was going on but unfortunately I haven’t felt much like writing so I apologise for that. The first is that I met up with Hannah and her sub along with her Domme friend who paid me a visit in the middle of the night. The second was the party where Luke would fulfil my Forniphilia fantasy and I’m going to fill you in on one of those today.

However, it’s probably not the one you were hoping for! I promise I will write about the part this week but it will have to wait until I have more time later in the week. This week is a little busy for me so I’ll struggle to get it to you any earlier.

So after the turbulent start (Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3) with Hannah’s friend we decided to put it all behind us and all go out for a meal together. It was a fairly casual place so I jeans and a low cut top with a long cardigan and some heels over some nice underwear, I know I’m going to get moaned at for wearing jeans but I decided this Domme had seen enough of me this early in proceedings.

I’m going to describe her now which is a little cringy because I know there is a good chance she will read this but I’ll try and be honest. She is thirty five, taller than me and a little stockier but still very feminine in shape, thin but not skinny. She has long dark brown hair  with a a blonde ombre which is quite thick and wavy, she wore it down when we met and I was very jealous, it’s gorgeous. Her eyes are quite large and dark brown, I found them to be very penetrating and would be easy to get lost in I think.

She was wearing a dark red lip stick and simple but dark make up which only served to emphasise her eyes. She wore a tight black dress that ended just above her knees and was almost met by her knee high boots, barely any skin on show but she still looked very sexy. Suffice to say I was impressed when we met but as I’ve said many times looks are far from the top of my list of perfect partner traits.

The conversation started off fairly easy, Hannah introduced the Domme and I which was a little awkward but neither of us brought up our first introduction until a lot later int he evening. I ended up sat next to Hannah’s sub either by their design or by chance (I’m fairly convinced it was the former) so it was the two subs opposite the two Domme’s in a booth. Hannah made her sub, who was wearing a very short skirt and no underwear, lift her skirt and sit directly on the seat with her naked ass and then told her to discreetly play with her clit and not speak until she was told to stop.

The waiter came and took our drinks order, Hannah ordering water for her now squirming sub, the rest of us having wine. I took the opportunity when the Domme’s weren’t looking to squeeze her knee and give her a reassuring smile but she just gave me a silent gasp back and the look on her face made me wet.

Hannah’s sub (she me to refrain from using her name) is a few years younger than me and is fairly new to the scene although she has been gay her whole life. She has really thrown herself into the sub role and has really blossomed with Hannah to the point that she is quite willing to follow demanding orders such as masturbating at the table of a crowded restaurant. Of course she is not allowed to orgasm without permission and as those who have read about my dealings with her will know, Hannah enjoys denial torture.

It was only once we the food orders had been taken and the starters arrived that Hannah allowed her to stop rubbing herself and ordered her to clean her fingers. The girl was just about to put them in her mouth after gratefully leaving her probably swollen clit alone when the other Domme piped up and said “Why doesn’t Lois clean them for her”.

I couldn’t help but smile, it did cause a nice feeling to run through me that I haven’t felt in a long time, those that aren’t submissive won’t understand but the feeling of being given an order, especially one that is inappropriate for the setting is quite a nice rush. Hannah’s sub offered me her hand blushing because we could all see it was covered in her juices and and I took her wrist and moved her fingers close to my  lips, then I grabbed her napkin and wiped her hand with it leaving it dry and then laid it on her knee.

The Dome laughed and Hannah rolled her eyes before turning to the Domme and saying, quite loudly, “I told you she needs a lot of work”. I just smiled to myself thinking “that will teach you for scaring the shit out of me!” and dug into my calamari, I could see Hannah’s sub stifling a grin as she began to eat too.

After that the night continued without any more play, everyone was allowed to talk normally although H’s sub maintained a much more respectful tone than I did. I wasn’t feeling in the mood to be that way and to be honest they hadn’t earned it from me recently. Maybe I AM in need of some retraining in the art of submission!

After the mains Hannah took her sub off to the bathroom to very unsubtly give me and the Domme some time to talk alone. We got on very well, she is clever and funny and she definitely has that air of dominance about her that I need from someone who wants to dominate me with any success. Eventually she asked if I would like to go out again, just the two of us and I said that sounded good, then as I watched she picked up my half full glass of wine and let some spit run from her mouth into it before placing it back where it was. Then, as Hannah and a slightly dishevelled looking sub returned she said, “I hope next time you will not disobey me” but I didn’t have time to answer.

No one had a desert but we all had coffee so I left my wine where it was, eventually it was time to head home but as we were getting up the Domme said “finish your wine Lois”. I considered it for a second and then lifted the glass and downed the contents before giving her a little smiling blush and turning for the door.

My sister was waiting outside and I didn’t want to give any awkward hugs so I said bye and then I was gone.

I really enjoyed the evening, I love spending time with Hannah and her sub and I got on really well with the Domme and am looking forward to our “date”, I’ll let you know how that goes!

Finally you may wonder what the picture accompanying this post is all about? Well, I am thinking of getting a septum piercing but want to be able to hide it most of the time, only putting it to proper use in play. It’s something I have been looking into and there are options for this, another thing to let you know about next time x