Newton’s third law

Yesterday afternoon I received a text message from Lois containing a link to a video of a restrained girl having wasabi put inside her nostrils, the rest of the video is basically her suffering whilst being taunted by the dominant girl who did it to her.

I sometimes wonder what possesses subs, and in particular Lois, to send me things of this nature. Is it not obvious that my first thought is going to be that she is suggesting I do the same to her? And if that is so would that not be considered topping from the bottom?

Lois claimed, after the fact, that she definitely had not been suggesting I do this to her and only sent it because she thought I would enjoy it. Either way, I told her to purchase some wasabi on the way home from work.

In researching this after the fact I’ve discovered that wasabi reacts with the mucus in your nasal passages rather than with your tongue and it is quite a severe reaction. Neither I nor Lois like it so neither of us have had much interaction with it but the burning in your nose even when you just smell it is noticeable.

When she arrived home I changed her day collar for her leather one and then sent her to get changed and whilst she was gone I retrieved some items to restrain her. She arrived back a few minutes later wearing a blue vest top and some jeans that her ass looks particularly fetching in.

After getting her wrists cuffed I used a carabiner to fasten her wrists to a high up cupboard door in the kitchen, then I strapped her favourite ball gag in her mouth as I expected her to be quite vocal about this. Just before the gag went in she looked at me and said “please don’t” and her faced told me she genuinely didn’t want to do this so after inserting the gag and strapping it shut I kissed her head and said “do it for me?” and she nodded.

The effect of the wasabi was quite immediate, I didn’t even put much in each nostril but her eyes were instantly wide and she started making a strange noise through her gag. Similarly to in the video (which you can find by search for (Rain DeGrey wasabi by the way) she started to flap her hands around although she couldn’t move them much. Her cheeks started to go pink and her eyes started to tear up and then when she screwed them shut the tears ran down her cheeks.

I’m going to leave a space here where Lois can write how she was feeling at this time…

This is not an enjoyable sort of pain despite my pussy’s betrayal! I think I was wet because I was being forced to endure it rather than because of the pain but really who knows what goes on in my crazy brain!

That stuff is horrible to eat and much much worse to have up your nose, it burns all the way up into your nasal passage and stings your eyes, it’s a horrible sensation. All I wanted was to get it out of my nose but I was completely hopeless to achieve that.

I could also taste the disgusting stuff for over an hour afterwards and it completely ruined the nice pasta that I made for us. However I did thank Mistress for putting me through this trial as everything she has me do makes me stronger and a better sub.

I watched her intently for about ten minutes as she switched between almost hanging from her cuffs and drooling on the floor to flailing around and trying to blow her nose clear. It was almost as if the burning was coming in almost unbearable waves.

Eventually I took pity on her and let her down but before I did I reached down the front of her jeans, predictably she was very wet.

She looked a bit of a mess when I let her down, tears, snot and makeup streaked her face and she’d drooled all over herself but I still pulled her into me, held her tight and told her how amazing she is before sending her to clean herself up, I also needed to change my top!

Escalations

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else or if it’s just me but small ideas that I have just seem to escalate into these huge crazy plans!

A few weeks ago my Mistress and I were discussing various kinks over a bottle of wine, as you do, and I mentioned that I have been having thoughts about cuckolding or rather more accurately, cuckqueaning. For those that are unaware a cuckquean is a female who’s husband or partner sleeps with other people, it is basically the female version of a cuckold.

Mistress pressed me and I ended up revealing that I liked the idea of her forcing me to watch her have sex with a man and then forcing me to clean them up afterwards but never take an active part in pleasuring them or myself. This is most certainly psychological masochism on my part because I would not enjoy seeing her with someone else especially as she is 100% bisexual and I know she enjoys straight sex and only gave it up to be with me.

I don’t often voluntarily engage is this sort of psychological torture because I have struggled with it in the past but I feel so comfortable with Miss Fiona that it is something that has started to drift into my fantasies again after a long time.

Anyway, we discussed it at the time and then it wasn’t really mentioned again until yesterday when she announced that it would be happening this weekend. An old Dom friend of her’s is in the UK for a few days and he will be coming to visit us on Saturday. We discussed it at length and she reassured me that there are no romantic feelings between them and that he will be gone after the weekend, he simply enjoys sex, likes my Miss and agreed to take part in this scene. She assured me we wouldn’t go through with it if I wasn’t happy and I could safe word out of the scene at any time and it would stop so we agreed to go ahead with it.

However, whilst discussing the details of how it would happen, again over some wine, things escalated. Miss had been hoping that the chastity belt option would win the poll, in fact she voted for it herself, as I have been reluctant to wear it due to me really disliking it immensely and for some reason she has never really pushed the point, until now. She decided that as she would be otherwise engaged she wouldn’t be able to guarantee I wasn’t pleasuring myself whilst watching her and so I would wear my belt for the whole evening. Obviously I protested this because I hate wearing the belt so now I’m wearing it all weekend.

There was one other problem, tomorrow was the day we had put aside for my punishment, the punishment you chose of 655 needles being pushed into my breasts. Mistresses hated the asymmetry of having 327 in one and 328 in the other so she decided, with a large smile on her face I might add, that she would push 327 needles into each of my tits and then find somewhere “fun” to put the last one!

Honestly my breasts aren’t that big, I wear a 30-32 C bra and I’m not even certain there is enough room for that many needles. Mistress intends to bind them tightly first which will make them more of a ball shape and may create a larger surface area where it is possible to push needles in. I’m quite excited to see what it is going to look like whilst quite petrified about how its going to feel to have that many needles in them, it will definitely be a first for me. I’ve spoken to a nurse (a friend who is also in the scene) and they said it will be safe as long as the needles aren’t too large a gauge but there will likely be significant bruising so I should plan on covering up for at least a week afterwards.

I’m not exactly sure what order everything will happen in, Miss will deal with those details, but I do know that my other duties for the evening include cooking and waitressesing. It’s going to be an interesting evening to say the least, I think I am looking forward to it and fearing it in equal measure and they usually turn out to be the best scenes so overall I think I’m excited!

Viewing stats

One of the caveats I was given before I started to post again was that I am not permitted to view the stats page of the admin area of the blog, so after I looked at the stats today and admitting it to Miss Fiona when I got home from work I’m in a bit of trouble!

Miss thought it appropriate that my punishment be driven by the source of my disobedience so as such, below is a poll for you  it will stay active until this time tomorrow and then my punishment will be carried out on Wednesday.

Safe Sex

In my last post I mentioned some of the things my Mistress is training me in, some of which push the boundaries of my existing limits and someone expressed concern for my safety in the comments so I wanted to address that in this post.

I have always had a strange relationship with limits, yes I do have them despite what people might think but I really REALLY enjoy when they are pushed and broken, it’s part of who I am. That said I would only ever allow someone that I had complete trust in to go beyond those limits.

I’ve been into the BDSM scene for quite a long time now and in the past it was very much focused on the latter two letters of that acronym and if I’m perfectly honest it wasn’t always done safely and it’s only as I’ve got older that I am very much more aware of the need for things to be done safely.

To list just some of the ill-advised things I’ve done in the past:

• Had unprotected sex with complete strangers on multiple occasions
• Had unsterilised needles, skewers and fish hooks pierced through my flesh
• Been left tied up for long periods when the person tying my had no idea how to bind someone safely
• Been burnt more severely than is safe for play
• Injected substances into my body without being fully aware if it is safe to do so

Fortunately for me I came through all of the above intact and more or less healthy but I am well aware that things could have been different and the older me is a little ashamed of the younger me for not taking better care of myself.

I’ve suffered fractured bones, infected cuts, severe bruising and more urinary infections than I can count through BDSM but despite of this I don’t regret doing anything I have done over the years, maybe only the lack of precautions I took whilst doing some of it.

My Mistress has a lot of experience in the things we are doing now and I have full trust in her ability to keep me safe whilst she expands my limits in the way that she wants to, for instance you mentioned there are health concerns with “full toilet service”? We are well aware of this and Mistress has already altered my diet and is giving me strong (and expensive!) pro-biotic supplements to improve the condition and resilience of my digestive system well in advance of beginning that activity.

As for the play partners, they may be random strangers to me but they are absolutely not strangers to my Mistress. I am precious to her and she would only loan me to someone that she trusts absolutely to take my safety into account as much as she would herself.

My eye is pretty much healed now so slapping training will be continuing soon and Mistress has also expressed to me that she will soon be giving me a week during which time she intends to torture me daily using nothing but my own orgasms. It sounds both exciting and terrifying!

A new story

I had intended writing about my collaring for today but I’ve been a bit tied up, not literally unfortunately, and haven’t finished writing about that yet and I want to do the experience justice so I’ve going to save it for next week.

Instead I’ve finished a new story that I’ve been working on for a little while, it’s called Stranger on a Train, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It’s a long time since I’ve written any fiction stories so please feel free to give critique, it will help me when I write more stories (there’s at least one more in the works!).

If you want to read any of my other fiction stories you can find them all on the stories page.

Dogging week: Wednesday

The meeting place for this night was actually quite close to where I live so I got ready and then set off shortly before the 11pm meeting time. The only thing I knew about the person I was meeting was that he was a fairly good-looking, well-built black guy (I’d been sent a picture) and that he would be in a silver BMW, as I pulled into the dark car park of the woodland area I could see the car and parked near to it.

It was quite cold when I stepped out of the car and it was painful to stand on the gravel in my bare feet. As instructed I was wearing a short black body hugging dress over some lacy black lingerie and nothing else, as instructed my keys were the only things I took with me as I approached his car walking gingerly on the gravel.

As I approached the door he climbed out of the car, he looked to be early to mid forties and was wearing jeans, Timberland type boots and a thin jumper. He was quite muscly and was carrying a black bag over his shoulder and was smiling a wide smile as he looked me over in a way that felt invasive, the first thing he said to me was “Keys”.

I handed him my car keys and then he told me to turn around, as soon as I did he wrapped his arms around me pinning my arms to my sides while he pulled me against his body. I could feel his cock growing hard against my back as he roughly fondled my breasts through my clothes, then he pulled my dress up exposing my ass (I was only wearing a thong) and gave my cheek a hard slap before saying “Walk!”.

It felt like we’d been walking in silence along the path for about ten minutes, the only interaction was the occasional hard slap of my ass until he said “stop here and turn around”. I did and saw him standing with my keys in his hand, then without turning his head he flung my keys to the side.

I watched them fly through the air for about eight meters and then disappear into the middle of a huge bush of waist-high nettles, I have to be honest in my head I said “Oh you fucking asshole” but I opened and then closed my mouth without saying anything and looked back at his grinning face, he thought it was hilarious as he motioned to turn round and said “Walk” again.

We walked for another few minutes and then a hand on my shoulder guided me left off the path and into the woods which was really tough on my feet for the next five minutes, then another hand on my shoulder stopped me by a large tree with a rope hanging from one of its branches.

The guy took a length of rope from his bag and said “hands”, I put my hands out in front of me and he wrapped the rope around them and tied it. It wasn’t a complicated or pretty knot but it was sufficient, I couldn’t get free. He told me to stand under the rope dangling from the tree and put my hands in the air, the dangling rope went around my wrist restrains and was pulled until I was just on my tip toes and then tied it off.

I have to admit I was a little scared as he tied a scarf around my head leaving me blind and totally helpless in the hands of a strange man in the middle of the woods. He wasn’t finished though, I felt cold metal against my skin and then heard the ripping as he cut and ripped my dress down the front until it fell off me, then my bra went the same way and my nipples immediately grew hard in the cool air. He grabbed the front of my thong and pulled it up really hard, the thin material pulled between my pussy lips and cut into my pussy painfully, then they pulled it away from my body, obviously in bits, leaving me naked.

I couldn’t tell if it was a whip or a twig that he hit me with but the next ten minutes were spent with him walking around me randomly swatting different parts of my body with something thin that I’d later find out left thin red welts all over me. Once he got bored with that he came up behind me and whispered “stay still for this part” in my ear and then he moved in front of me.

He grabbed one of my breasts and I felt the cold, wet tip of a marker pen on my skin. Obviously I didn’t find out until later what he had written but I’ll describe what he wrote anyway, because I know now. He drew a circle around each of my nipples and wrote “TWIST” above one and “BITE” above the other, then he wrote in large letters on my stomach “I FUCK STRANGERS BAREBACK” before writing “CUM SLUT” on the front of one thigh and “PAIN SLUT” on the front of the other.

He moved behind me and I felt him drawing something large on my back and then colouring it in. It was a huge queen of spades logo that basically covered my entire back. For those who don’t know what that is have a look here. His final decoration was to write “ANAL SLUT” across my ass cheeks, apparently he liked the word “slut”!

Once his artwork was done he went back to whipping, this time I’m sure it was a twig but a bigger one, the strikes were harder and more painful and concentrated on my ass. He gave me about twenty hard hits leaving about ten seconds between each one and by the last my ass was really sore and burning.

He was pretty strong, stood in front of me he gripped my thighs and easily lifted me off the ground and brought me down on his rock hard cock which had no problem sliding into my very wet pussy, what can I say? I’m a masochist!

Rather than thrusting himself in and out of me he fucking me by lifting me up and down, effectively massaging his cock with my pussy. I was completely helpless and was basically a passenger as he used my body to masturbate and then cum inside me before I was even close to an orgasm. That sounds like I didn’t enjoy it but I really did, I was inside my own head loving the humiliation of my body being used entirely for him to pleasure himself.

Once he was done he let go of me and disappeared for a bit, I could feel his cum running out of me and down my thigh as I stood there unable to move. I began to worry he’d left me there but then after a while I heard him approach and his hands were on me again, squeezing my sore ass and then one hand began twisting my nipple as his teeth closed around the other.

He bit down really hard and twisted the other nipple just as severely and I couldn’t do anything except let him and try to make noises to indicate it was getting too much without actually saying so. I’m sure some of you have been bitten before, it’s so painful having your nipples bitten especially when it goes past a certain point, eventually he stopped and I couldn’t help but gasp “fuuuuck” which got a loud laugh from him before his hand went between my legs. Obviously he found a swamp down there and said “like that did we?” before wiping a lot of cummy mess across my mouth.

Then followed more whipping with the twig, it was back to all over me though and he rarely hit my ass again,  most of them landed on my tits which hurt quite a lot. The worst was when one hit the nipple that he had bitten, it was already throbbing and when the twig hit it there was a burst of pain that caused one of the few yelps that escaped me that night.

Eventually the whipping ended, my body was stinging and tingling and aching all over but mainly my arms were really sore by this point, they weren’t about to get any relief though. He moved behind me again and did the reverse of before, grabbing my thighs and lifting me from behind. His cock slid into my pussy easily once again and then he pulled it out, coated in mess and positioned it against my ass.

He was quite slow as he used my weight to lower me onto his cock, the mess from my pussy provided some lubrication but I could still feel my ass stretching around his cock as he lowered me down. Everyone knows the thing about all black guys having huge cocks, I’ve no idea if that is true or not because my experience is limited but this guys was neither huge or small, it was average sized!

He must have been in good shape because once again he used my body like a fleshlight, lifting and lowering my body to fuck his cock. Fortunately for him though he didn’t last too long this time and his cock was soon twitching in my ass before he left me to hang again. He must not have had much cum left to give because nothing came out of me as I hung there waiting again.

He eventually let me down and I basically fell to the floor, my arms and legs were in bits from standing on half tiptoes and having my arms strung up for so long, those pains definitely overshadowed anything else he had done.

After a few minutes I pulled off my blindfold and looked up, he was gone. I panicked a little but then got my senses together and looked for my clothes, I found them behind the tree but when I went to pick them up I realised he’d pissed all over them. I picked them up with the tips of my fingers but realised they were useless anyway and left them as I started to walk back to the car.

I found the path and had a look up and down it to try to make sure no one was coming and then started walking along staying on the grass at the side of the path to save my feet. It was really dark but as I’d been blindfolded for a couple of hours and my night vision was quite well established.

Not quite established enough for finding keys in a patch of nettles in the dark though! It took me about twenty minutes of agonizingly wading through the nettles, searching with my feet to avoid bending down into the nettles and stinging my upper body too.

Fortunately most of them weren’t quite long enough to each my pussy so I only got a few stings on my pussy and ass but my legs were covered. When I remember getting stung by nettles as a child I remember it being more the itchiness that was the problem, but fuck they do sting when they get you,  I had tears running down my face by the time I found the keys, partially from the intense stinging all over my legs and partially from the frustrating of not being able to find the keys.

I didn’t bother to dress to drive home, I just wrapped a towel around me and drove back and then curled up in my bed in my ruined makeup and with his dried cum on my thighs.

The Room

Many many things happened with me in the last month, some good, some bad but they culminated in me having a really good and positive start to the new year.

Back at the beginning of December I was starting to feel quite unwell, I was having dizzy spells and had fainted a few times including once at work. Then one day my vision started to go blurry and Miss Fiona insisted that I went to see a doctor.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had these symptoms though, a few years ago I went through all of the same things and the cause was essentially stress. At the time I was having personal problems and was under a huge amount of pressure at work though and things weren’t particularly bad this time so I was a little worried if I’m honest.

Miss Fiona made an appointment for me and when I arrived at the doctors she was there waiting to go in with me. At this point our relationship hadn’t really gone that far and this felt a little pushy to me but looking back now it was the start of things getting really good between us. After Miss Fiona had ensured I’d disclosed every tiny detail of the past few weeks the doctor said that I had “Acute Fatigue with a level of Stress” and signed me off work for a week.

It wasn’t actually very convenient to be off work that week, in fact it was impossible so I spoke with one of the partners and agreed to take the following week off as leave rather than being signed off.

As it turned out Miss Fiona had some ideas about how to help me relax and recuperate during my week off, she refused to tell me what they were and instead asked me to submit to her 24/7 for the week. I would stay at her house from Sunday to Saturday and must follow the rules that she set for me.

I was a little dubious about this, as I mentioned we’d had a few dates and were getting on well but our relationship was progressing quite slowly by design and it was a big leap to go from that to something 24/7 especially when I didn’t really know what would be involved. That said I was really starting to harbor strong feelings for her so in the end I agreed to her terms.

On the Saturday Miss Fiona had arranged and paid for me to have colonic hydrotherapy (aka colonic irrigation) which is something I’ve never done. Weirdly considering I’ve had many enema’s I was nervous and more than a little embarrassed by this but the girls there were really nice and talked me through it all. It was an interesting and quite satisfying experience.

I arrived at her house at midday on the Sunday and as soon as I was in the door with my suitcase full of clothes and makeup etc she told me I wouldn’t be needing any clothes because I was going to be naked for the entire week apart from the leather collar that she then produced. It had two chains running from a D-ring in the front, each of which had a matching leather cuff on the end.  Whilst still stood just inside the (thankfully closed) front door she had me strip and then turn and kneel so she could fasten the collar around my neck and lock it, then I stood again so she could fasten and lock the cuffs to my wrists.

She held my wrists and pulled my arms straight, only I couldn’t straighten them properly because of the chain and I realised the chains were just long enough to prevent me reaching my pussy. She saw the realisation hit me and grinning before turning and saying “Come”.

She led me upstairs and into her spare bedroom, past the double bed which was covered in a pile of clothes, and into her walk in wardrobe which was empty. It is basically a small room with a solid wooden door and a small window that overlooks her spacious garden. It has rails along both sides of it but all the clothes had been removed and the only thing in the room was a cat’s litter tray, a small inflatable bed and a bottle of water and a glass. After she had explained everything to me whilst I knelt on the floor she closed the door.

These were the my rules for the week:

• I was not to leave the room without Miss Fiona (the door wasn’t locked)
• I was not allowed to pleasure myself in any way (the chains were there to help)
• I had to finished the 2l bottle of water every day (it was replaced each morning)
• I had to eat whatever food was left for me
• The litter tray was for me to pee in
• I would be allowed 30 minutes bathroom time each day
• We would eat an evening meal together but we could not talk about the arrangements or rules until the following Saturday unless it was urgent

That first day I was really regretting agreeing to the arrangement, within minutes I was bored and after a couple of hours I was getting sorely tempted to open the door. I’d find out later that Miss Fiona had been sat on the other side of the door the whole time waiting to see how I would react.

After a while, I’d lost track of how long, the door opened and she led me downstairs and into the kitchen where she had prepared us a meal. The food was very healthy and I later found out that my diet for the week had been carefully selected with advice from the clinic where I got the colonic. We talked about various things, she makes me laugh a lot which I like and whilst our dynamic is always present she doesn’t make me feel in any way inferior to her, it’s hard to describe but in my opinion it is the perfect way to be dominant.As soon as we’d finished she asked if I needed the bathroom, I didn’t so she lead me back to the room and the door was closed again.

She has smart lights in her house and the closet light is on a motion sensor so that it turns on when you walk in, however I’d find that it was also on a timer so at 9:30 it stopped turning on and there was only the dim ambient light from the window to see by, not that there was anything to see. The bed was surprisingly comfy once I found a position where the chains weren’t under me and I fell asleep shortly after the lights went off which is very early for me.

I only woke up when the door opened the next morning, it was the best sleep I’d had for months. The collar and chains stayed on whilst I used the toilet and had a shower, I dried myself and brushed my hair (I wasn’t allowed to dry it) whilst Miss Fiona showered and then she had me blow dry and brush her hair for her. It was nice to do such a simple task and not have to worry about getting ready for work or what I had to do once I got there, it felt very relaxed.

Once I’d done her hair she put me back in my room and then about half an hour later she opened it again, dressed fully in her work clothes and left a fresh bottle of water, various pieces of fruit and a cling film covered bowl of couscous salad before giving me a kiss and closing the door again.

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before but I have a routine, I wake up in the morning about twenty minutes before I need to be up and my hand slides between my legs and I think about whatever naughty things that get me wet that particular day and I bring myself to a silent satisfying climax before I get up and shower ready to start the day. Then in the evening when I slide into bed I curl up on my side and the same hand slides between my legs to finish my day off the way I like to. This has been my routine for literally years and strange as it may seem, not masturbating is just not natural for me.

Miss Fiona knows all about this, hence the chains and cuffs. Yes she had ordered me not to touch myself but she also knows me well enough to know I’d find that extremely difficult, especially when there is literally nothing else to occupy my mind.

So I laid on the bed in my empty little room and started to fantasize about all sorts of perverted things that I can’t remember now, my hands rubbed across my nipples and then instinctively went for my pussy until the chains stopped them. The other thing that I’m sure I’ve mentioned before is that I need clitoral stimulation to cum, it’s pretty much impossible to get me over the edge in any other way and by this point I was extremely horny and getting increasingly frustrated so I decided to think about something else, it was either that or risk my sanity!

I was drinking a lot more than I usually do because it was one of my rules and also because it was something to do. The problem is that drinking a lot has one inevitable consequence and I couldn’t hold it off any longer. I moved the tray so that I could put a foot either side and then squatted over it and let go. For some reason it made me blush despite the fact that no one was in the room with me, it made me feel a little inhuman. Fortunately she’d left a roll of paper so I wiped and then went back to looking out of the window.

That was pretty much how it went for the first half of the week….get up and use the toilet before having a shower and brushing my hair. Brush and dry Miss Fiona’s hair and then back to my room. Spend the next nine hours mindlessly looking out of the window, day dreaming and having absolutely zero stress. Do some exercise by running on the spot or doing sits up and press ups. Be let out of my room to change my tray and enjoy a healthy meal and some conversation with Miss Fiona and then back to my room for the night and more tie with myself.

There were a few changes starting on Wednesday when she let me come and sit on the floor next to her for half an hour while she watch TV. She laid my head on her knee and gently stroked my hair whilst she watched, occasionally she would dip her finger in her glass of wine and put it to my lips and I would suck it off her finger tip, it tasted divine.

On the Thursday when she left my food and drink for the day she also left a children’s colouring book, a “Frozen” one, and some colouring pencils. It sounds ridiculous but I was so excited by this at the time because it was something for me to do and put my mind to, even if it was a very simple task. I spent most of the day very neatly colouring in pictures of the Elsa and Anna, it was very therapeutic.

On Friday morning Miss Fiona unlocked my cuffs and removed them, disconnecting the chains from my collar which remained in place. She didn’t say anything about it, just removed them and left for work leaving me with a teenagers jewellery making kit. I spent the day making a bracelet for my sister and a really intricate necklace for Miss Fiona and didn’t touch myself once, not because I didn’t want to though. For some reason I was so nervous presenting the necklace to her at dinner but she seemed to really love it and bizarrely that made me so happy that I cried! I cried for about half an hour with no idea why and she held me tight the whole time without asking me any questions or trying to make me talk about it, then she put me back in my room and I fell sound asleep.

In the morning she didn’t let me out, I woke up and there was a one litre bottle of water with a hint of lemon and some fruit already in the room. I ate and drank, enjoying the flavoured water immensely and waited really quite patiently. Eventually the door opened and a naked Miss Fiona lead me to the bathroom where she’d run a very deep bubble bath which she climbed into and then helped me in with her and I laid there against her soaking until we were all wrinkled.

We dried each other afterwards and then climbed into her bed and made slow, sensual, sweet vanilla love to each other for hours.

On the face of it this was just a boring week stuck in a room with nothing to do, I guess a form of torture. That’s how I saw it at the start but as the time passed I literally felt tension seeping out of my body and I just completely relaxed for the first time in a very long time and it made me feel amazing. The detox was also really good and made me feel good, my skin is much better and I feel like I have more energy, I’ve even bought some (adult) colouring books as I find it really helps me to relax a lot.

I have a lot more to tell you all about and I will be writing about them over the coming weeks, I’ve been officially collared by Miss Fiona now and had a sort of formal collaring with a few people there.

I did some thinking about this blog while I was in the room and from today I want to do two posts a week. One like this one which is about my life and what’s going on in it and the other about my BDSM experiences. The initial BDSM posts will be ones that I’ve been promising for ages and then as I do new things I will post about those as well. I can’t promise they will all be long but I do promise to make the effort to post.

Bad girl

Like I say in this Tumblr post (which shows the messages hinted above) I used to be such a good submissive, the only time I addressed my Dominant incorrectly was when I wanted to get punished……OK maybe I wasn’t that good a sub!

I’m totally out of practice though, it’s been years since I’ve been submissive to someone for more than a session and I’m finding it quite difficult as you can see in the messages, this isn’t the first time I’ve slipped up since Fiona told me to address her as “Miss”.

I have a date with her tonight which I am quite looking forward to, and I just know I’m going to slip up with it, it’s already earned me five spanks and she’s threatened me with something a lot worse if I don’t behave later! I think she has realised that I quite like pain and she needs to be more creative if she is going to punish me and adjust my behaviour to her liking, which is a shame! lol

Tonight I’ve been told to wear a short dress which no underwear (classic!) and when she picks me up in the taxi I’m to make sure I’m wet and that my ass goes directly onto the seat, no fabric in between.

To be honest the being wet won’t be a problem as I’m almost always at least a little wet but I’ll think of something to get me a little closer to what she’s expecting before she picks me up.

The reason I’m so excited for tonight is that we are “playing”, we discussed it earlier and she is feeling just as horny as me today and she asked if I wanted to stay over. I was a little reticent at first baring in mind how that ended last time but then my horniness overruled my brain, thankfully.

She has been sending me pictures all day, a ball gag, clover clamps, a flogger, a cane, so…..yeah, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble being wet when she arrives!

Digital detox

I really don’t know why anyone follows this blog! I’m terribly inconsistent with writing posts and while I’ve apologised more times then I can count for it I’ve never got any better at posting regularly!

My excuse this time is that I needed a bit of a break from my online presence. I don’t want to imply that I’m more than what I am, I’m not any sort of online celebrity like has been suggested by some and despite appearances I’m not a particularly big attention seeker, although I am a little bit 🙂

I have Twitter, Tumblr, Collar Space, this blog, email and it was all getting a bit much to keep up with so I took a break.

It my own choice, not because I was ordered to by any new Mistress that some have speculated I have either! Yes I am still seeing Fiona and yes it is going well but no she didn’t order me to stop speaking to people online or anything like that. In fact she is happy for us to have an open relationship at the moment as she already has “other commitments” as well.

Whilst I haven’t been online in my usual ways recently I have been having some fun, at least one eagle eyed reader saw a post I made on a website relating to something I did a couple of weeks ago which fulfilled a couple of things from my fantasies list.

This is something I’ve thought about doing for a long time but haven’t got round to arranging until recently, or rather having someone else arrange. The premise was this; I would post an advert on a dogging website inviting people to “apply” to use me for whatever they wanted for one night (or actually a few hours) and five successful applicants would get to do what they wanted on five consecutive nights. The applications would go to a third party (who will remain anonymous) and they would organise all the details, all I’d know is where to be and when each night.

Here is the advert, which was written by me but edited and approved by the person who organised it:

I am a female submissive masochist in her early thirties and based in Cambridgeshire who craves cruel humiliation, degradation and rough use by strangers. I have brown hair, am 5′ 9″ with a slim build.To fulfil these needs a Dominant has instructed me to post this advert.

I am looking for singles or couples of any gender/colour/age/weight/etc who would enjoy playing with me one night next week (5th – 9th September 2016) with no strings attached. The Dominant will choose from those who reply to this advert (assuming anyone does!) and I will play with one each night next week.

This is a genuine offer and I am very excited about it.

If this interests you, please reply to this advert before midnight on Thursday and include the following:

• A little detail about yourself
• A picture of yourself
• Broadly what you would like to do with me
• Where you would like to meet
• Your email address (important!)

I will forward all replies (without reading them) to the Dominant who will choose the five for me to play with and contact (hence needing your email address) them directly to arrange the details, I will not be involved in the selection process and will be submissive to you when I arrive at the designated meeting place (hotel/woodland/public bathrooms).

Again, this is a genuine offer so only genuine and sensible replies with all the information requested please.

The website that I posted this on has a mailbox and mine was pretty much full for the next few days which ended up equating to twenty “applications” being made, all describing what they wanted to do with me.

I’d obviously discussed this with the person who organised the evenings in advance and I knew he would be finding the people and events that would be the most horrible for me but also vetting the people to make sure I’d be safe and that my identity would be safe, for instance the people involved have no idea about this blog.

The week was amazing, I came away having enjoyed doing some disgusting things, in private and public places all with complete strangers. I am in the process of writing reports for the person who arranged it and he has agreed that I can post them here once he has read them. In the meantime, here is a little description of who I met each night and where:

• Monday – A mid 30’s Dominant female and submissive male couple in woodland
• Tuesday – An very overweight male in a hotel bar
• Wednesday – A very fit an muscly black man in woodland
• Thursday – A mature slightly overweight lady in a very run down hotel
• Friday – A cross-dressing man in some parkland

I will be posting more updates in the next week or so and, although I am away for a couple of weeks after that, I hope to schedule these reports to be published while I am away.

I’m fully back online now so feel free to comment on this post or message me by whatever means you want to, I will do my best to reply.

NG Tubes

A nasogastric tube is a narrow bore tube passed into the stomach via the nose. It is used for short or medium term nutritional support toilet duty.

The use of a nasogastric tube is suitable for enteral feeding for up to six weeks human toilets for up to eight hours. Polyurethane or silicone feeding tubes are unaffected by gastric acid and can therefore remain in the stomach for a longer period than PVC tubes, which can only be used for up to two weeks.