Sorry! I kind of lost it a little bit the last few days, I blame the alignment of the Earth with the Moon and Mars. I’ve no idea if that happened or not but it’s as plausible as any other reason I can think of for the sudden reignition of very strong feelings that have been dead and buried for so long.

I have now, I think, pulled myself together a little and possibly regained rational thought. I spoke to Kayleigh over text on Thursday night and she was really nice about everything despite admitting being quite shocked to receive my message out of the blue. We talked a bit and it turns out she is currently seeing someone, a vanilla someone, although it’s still fairly new.

She did ask if I wanted to meet up and go for a drink to talk so we have agreed to meet up next week one night so we will have to see what happens then. It would be nice to just have a friendship with her to be honest, even if that’s all it can be.

Oh, and she still had the address for this blog so has read everything on it, which is a little mortifying! So if you comment about her please don’t be mean, she is really a lovely person and I never meant to portray her as anything less.

In the meantime, there is tonight to get ready for!

85 Questions

These 85 questions were posted on my Tumblr and I thought it would make an interesting blog post to answer them all here.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Yes, looks are important in a relationship in that they are generally what first attracts you to a person. It’s a little bit different in a D/s relationship though as, for me at least, it is the persons mind and personality that I am most attracted to. So for me personally, looks and even gender are less important than those things.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

I’m not a good person to ask really, I’ve been single for two years after being really badly hurt which probably isn’t healthy! I think they can be worth it but that not all relationships are.

3. Are you a virgin?

Yes, oh wait, no.

4. Are you in a relationship?

No, see number 2.

5. Are you in love?

Not today.

6. Are you single this year?


7. Can you commit to one person?

Yes, absolutely, the problem is getting someone to commit to me!

8. Describe your crush

I don’t really understand what this one means. I don’t currently have a crush on anyone though.

9. Describe your perfect mate

Ugh, I hate questions like this. Intelligent, funny, sarcastic, attractive, female, sadistic, cruel, kind, caring, loving. Not asking for much really.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes, I’ve experienced it. The problem is that love isn’t always enough.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

It’s not particularly important to me that I do but I would if the right person asked.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Possibly. That’s a very hard question to answer because things are rarely black and white. It depends what the betrayal was and how badly it hurt me, I do have a tenancy to hold grudges!

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yes, but I can control it when necessary.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Not at the moment. Apart from Kate Beckinsale, I always have a crush on her.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes, I have a two inch diameter ball closure ring in my clit.

16. Do you have any tattoos?

No, I had one above my pussy but I had it removed at great expense of time and money.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Yes, I like kissing a lot, in private or public. I’m not shy of public displays of affection.

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes, often more than once.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

No. Maybe physical feelings but definitely not emotional.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I seriously doubt it but it would be nice.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Absolutely, I have done. I’m a very submissive person and if I have dedicated myself to someone I am dedicated, unhealthily so at times.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Currently it looks highly unlikely!

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yes, but it probably won’t happen, apparently no one wants me.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes, but they were lying.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?


28. Have you ever been cheated on?

No. Although I’ve had partners who have been with other people with my knowledge, if not consent.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No, never. I have had sex with other people whilst in a relationship but only with the other persons consent, and usually on their orders.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

No. There are things about my body that I don’t like, for instance my boobs are too small but it is what it is. You can’t put skewers through fake boobs!

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Guy: No
Girl: Yes

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes, although they said it was requited at first, it only turned out it was unrequited later and it was truly horrendous.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yes, more than once!

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yes, more than once!

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes, but not a lot older, similar age but older.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yes, it ended extremely badly, you can read about it here.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

No I don’t think so. My friends probably wouldn’t like most of the people I have sexual contact with though because they wouldn’t understand the things I like.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes, the first girl I liked before I realised I liked girls!

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, but I only couldn’t have them because they were no longer interested.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

No. Perhaps a limerick.

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

No. But plans are in motion!

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

About two seconds, assuming my hands are free.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

About two years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Boyfriends: 3
Girlfriends: 2

45. How many people did you kiss in 2015?


46. How many times did you have sex last year?

I haven’t got a clue! More than five times but less than twenty probably.

47. How old are you?

Ugh, 31

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would probably give them some advice to help them get the person they want whilst wishing they wanted me.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I don’t but when I have had my favourite thing was always their mind.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

No. Wait, what are the presents? Actually just no.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

There was, but not at the moment.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yes, because they didn’t want me any more.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No, nobody cares who I’m talking to.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?


55. Share a relationship story.

Read about two!

56. State 8 facts about your body

  • It heals quickly
  • It has boobs that are too small
  • It is 5′10″ high
  • It has a high pain threshold
  • It only has one pubic hair
  • It has a hole through it’s clit
  • It’s eyes are deteriorating
  • It has a dodgy knee that occasionally dislocates

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Fuck you for leading me on and then leaving me in pieces.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Love me and control me and make me cum!

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

There is a picture of me on my about me page.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

Depends what is meant by “partners”. Relationships I think it was about eight years, sexual partners about thirty years.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their eyes.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Tie me up, blindfold me and do whatever they wanted with me no matter how much I protest.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Anything involving two or more of the following:

  • Pussy
  • Cock
  • Ass

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Having sexual physical contact with someone whilst in a relationship with someone else and without their consent. So anything from kissing upwards really. If you feel the need to keep it from your partner then you’re cheating already.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Being tied up and roughly used to pleasure the other person with my mouth.

66. What is your favourite role play?

I’m not really into role play but if I had to choose it would be some kind of kidnap scenario I imagine.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Probably going for drinks and then a meal so we can talk. At some point in the evening the other person would start to take control, start to tell me what to do without asking permission to do so, I would feel their natural dominance and respond to it.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Bisexual, leaning towards Lesbian as far as long term relationships are concerned.

69. What turns you off?


70. What turns you on?

Pretty much anything that would shock and disgust vanilla people.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Basically all my dreams are kinky so it’s hard to say which is the “kinkiest”, it depends what you find kinky to be honest. I think it would have to be one where I am completely dehumanised and turned into a sex slave where my only purpose is to serve a group of sadistic perverts.

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Anything commanding or degrading.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Love me.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

A nice tight ass, on both genders.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Held me in their arms for hours while I cried and didn’t once try to move me or make me feel better except by letting me stay there.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I discovered my friend was six months in arrears on her mortgage after being made redundant and was being taken to court to repossess her home. She is proud and would never have told me or asked for help so I paid off her arrears. She never knew, and still doesn’t know, that I was aware of her troubles but when I saw her a few days later she was like a different person, like the weight of the world had been lifted from her.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

They are irrelevant.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

My dirtiest secret is probably that I am a submissive masochistic slut. That’s only a secret from everyone I know in “real” life though not from people on here. My real dirtiest secret would probably be that I was mated by a dog.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

Yesterday when I read this.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Two years ago, about a week before they left me.

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My best friend.

83. Who was your first kiss with?

A guy

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

Because I wasn’t good enough to keep her interest.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Yes, this is 2016 after all.

That’s it, I think I’ve answered everything as best I can but if you have any questions or comments then feel free to add a comment x

Fantasy Progress

I’ve been asked by quite a few people about the other fantasies and where they are up to so I in turn asked Luke and this is what he said (I embellished them a little as he tends to be quite short with me!).

  • Be blindfolded and restrained and left in a hotel room to be used and abused by a sick perverted stranger who I will never meet or even see.
    Progress: 0% – This will be easy to organise so isn’t high on the priority list.
  • Be put into severe bondage and used as an ornament or furniture at a BDSM event for a prolonged period (at least a day). 
    Progress: 20% – I know what I’m going to do with this but need to wait until there is a suitable party, probably when it is warmer.
  • Be given to a dominant BDSM oriented very obese man for his use over a weekend.
    Progress: 0% – I don’t know any fat guys so this one may take some time to organise.
  • Be degraded by being forced to swallow bodily fluids and other disgusting things from multiple sources (potentially at a party).
    Progress: 90% – This one is waiting for you (Lois) to be free, me (Luke) and my friends are ready and waiting.
  • Be put in tight bondage and torture inside a crate and be transported a significant distance. 
    Progress: 40% – This is going to be difficult because we live in England, any significant distance takes you across an international border which would be problematic. My working plan is to do this is America and I might have a willing driver.
  • Be given to a dominant BDSM oriented pre-op transsexual for her use over a weekend. 
    Progress: 0% – Yeah because I know loads of transexuals!
  • Have my body modified (in a sexual way) without my prior knowledge of what will be changed.
    Progress: 100% – Done 🙂 Hope you’re enjoying the new look 😉
  • Be forced to sexually service one or more none humans in as many ways as possible.
    Progress: 5% – I “may” be getting somewhere organising this.
  • Be sold (for actually money which my friend will keep) to a third party for a week of (almost) no limits use.
    Progress: 75% – This has had most of my attention because it will hopefully fund the rest but has required a lot of effort, I expect the auction to happen this month.
  • Be used as a genuine toilet at a bdsm party.
    Progress: 0% – How many BDSM parties do you think I am involved in? This will be later in the year.
  • Have a scene from Torture Galaxy recreated on me.
    Progress: 0% – We could do this any time.
  • My friends own fantasy.
    Progress: 0% – I’ve not even started to think about what I want to do with you.

New Year

So 2014 was a fairly dry year for me in relation to the things you are interested in. Career wise it was a huge year and that is the primary reason everything else has been somewhat neglected. I decided that I wanted to leave my lack of “activity” in 2014 and start 2015 off with a bit of a bang and I had someone in mind who could make it memorable.

I have known this guy for a good few years now, we have played a few times and he is quite rough, for those of you who follow me on twitter he is the guy who wanted to give me a cow shit enema! And for those followers who are interested we haven’t done that yet although he is still keen, me less so but only due to health concerns!

Anyway I got in touch with him and told him I wanted to start 2015 with some fun and he immediately came up with a genius idea. As 2014 had been such a “normal” year we should celebrate it that way, we can go to his cabin (he has a cabin in the woods that he has been trying to get me to go to for ages) and have a nice meal, champagne etc and then just before midnight render me unconscious and then I will wake up in 2015 in a “whole world of BDSM trouble” as he put it.

I had no idea how this could be achieved but I absolutely loved the idea so we both set about doing some research. Obviously my first thought was chloroform, that’s what they always use in the movies to knock someone out. As it turns out it doesn’t quite work like that, chloroform takes a good five minutes to knock you out and you have to receive a steady dose to keep you unconscious, plus where do you get it from? I spoke to my friend and he was way ahead of me, he said he would get a dust mask and put cotton wool balls soaked in chloroform into it and then put it on me. I would slowly inhale it and gradually pass out, then continue to inhale it until he removed it and then I would wake up. It sounded like a good plan to me and not only that he had “sourced” some chloroform (I didn’t ask, I don’t want to know!).

There has never been any “limits” which this guy, he knows how I like to play and I trust him not to go to far, I know he will step up to the line and even onto the line but I know he will never cross it. And stepping on the line is what I really needed.

He met me off the train on new years eve, I’d been with family up until then but had travelled up to him in time to get to the cabin early evening. We chatted on the drive, he told me he had everything planned with a wicked grin in his eye and showed me the unmarked brown bottle of liquid he intended to use to incapacitate me. He also said he never believed for a second that I would go for this idea.

Once we got to the cabin, which is lovely by the way, he took all our bags inside making sure I couldn’t see what he had in his clunky “toy bag”. Then we settled in and had a glass of wine before both trying out the chloroform, it is crazy stuff. It smells sweet and after a few breaths you can really feel it start to take effect, your mind sort of goes fuzzy.

The evening was very normal, we watched TV, had a couple of drinks and I made us some food, nothing too heavy as I didn’t want it ruining the fun later. Then before we knew it my alarm went off to say it was 11:30, time to get ready.

He told me p to strip, put on a blindfold and kneel in the nadu position whilst he prepared things. As I knelt there, naked and knees spread I could feel the wetness begin to build. I could hear him moving furniture and clattering around and then I could sense him back near me. His hands came round my body and roughly squeezed my tits, the first time he had touched me all night. I didn’t try to stop him, I was his now to do with as he pleased.

One hand went between my open legs and he easily slid two fingers into me, I was so wet. He retracted his fingers and then I felt at my mouth and instinctively opened, his fingers were coated in my juices and my mouth was filled with the taste of my pussy for the first time in months.

He whispered “ready?” in my ear and I nodded, then the mask was placed over my face and I could smell the chemical sweetness. I knelt for a minute as my head began to go fuzzy then my blindfold was suddenly removed and he was in front of me watching me slowly fade away, it was the most surreal experience of my life (I’ve never done drugs or anything). The last thing I remember is him helping me to my feet and leading me over to the dining table, then nothing.

When I woke up I was completely disoriented and it took at least a minute for me to realise where I was and what was happening to me. I was bent over the end of the dining table, there was a strap over my lower back holding me down and my wrists were bound behind my back. My legs were spread wide and secured to the table legs, I couldn’t move at all even if I hadn’t felt completely dizzy.

As my mind came back I could feel more, he had put some kind of clamps on my nipples which were pure agony, my pussy was filled to breaking point with some huge toy and he was fucking my ass hard and fast. I remember feeling a tingle as he fucked me and wondering what lube he had used, my mind was surprisingly ordered like it hadn’t caught up which what was actually happening to me yet.

I still hadn’t come round fully when he pushed balls deep into my ass and I gasped while he pumped his cum into me. He laid on top of me for a couple of minutes which gave me vital time to come round. My pussy and nipples were agony and my ass, which hadn’t been fucked in a long time, was aching as well. I got a brief relief as he pulled out but almost instantly he was pushing a sizable plug in to replace his cock.

He released the strap on my back and checked on me to make sure I was ok, I nodded I was and he smiled his evil grin and told me to try and stand up. I was a bit stiff but tried to move the top half of my body upwards and was immediately met with intense pain in my nipples. I looked down and lifted myself just a little, I could see two U shaped nails had been hammered into the table and one leg from each one went straight through one of my nipples.

It is now very late so I am going to leave the story there for now, I will post again soon (I promise) and finish telling you about my new year and then I hope to post periodically as and when I have an interesting story in 2015.

Happy New Year everyone x

What is it like?

I’ve had a lot of questions recently about what it is like to wear this infernal chastity belt for so long so I thought I would just write a short post about it.

The belt is all metal, very close-fitting as it was made to measure and for the most part reasonably comfortable. I say “comfortable” but it is a rigid piece of metal that runs from my back between my ass cheeks, through my legs and up over my pubic bone to meet a horizontal piece that goes around my waist just above my hips.

The belt piece is shaped ergonomically so it sits reasonably well on my hips but it still rubs from time to time. My ass cheeks are permanently pushed apart which was uncomfortable at first but I got used to it quite quickly. The groin part sits firmly against my skin, I can get maybe the very tip of my finger under it but that is it, it covers the whole area between my legs and widens up the front over my pussy and pubic bone preventing any access to my pussy. The main belt has a narrow slit that runs over my pussy, this is to pee out of, it is small but you could insert something narrow into it. However, my belt has a secondary shield over that one which has small holes drilled into it. It still allows pee out but there is no way t get anything in. I was very thorough when I bought the belt, unfortunately.

The belt is OK to lie down in but uncomfortable to sit in, you have to sit in a certain way other wise it digs in but that too I have now got the hang of.

So many people have asked about hygiene in the belt which I think is weird but really who am I to judge?! So periods would be a huge drama in the belt so I have taken my contraceptive pill continuously throughout the time wearing the belt which thankfully has prevented any periods. Peeing is fine although can be a bit messy as it doesn’t always come out of the same place, I have learnt to let it out slowly so that it trickles out of the belt. The only problem is that I obviously can’t wipe myself so if I am at home I generally have a shower (or a partial shower) afterwards and clean the area, if I am not at home I carry a little water spray with me and use that to rinse myself before using paper to dry the belt as much as possible.

Going to the bathroom for a number two is horrible and messy, there is an anal hole in the belt which is small and it gets covered in mess, I basically have to have a shower straight afterwards and spend a lot of time cleaning myself up. I have fond that a bottle brush pushed through the anal hole (not into my asshole) is the most effective way of cleaning it. Obviously I only do this at home but then I only ever go for a poo there anyway.

I need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and I have tried various things to achieve that in the belt. You can;t get anything in there so that is out, applying vibration to the outside of the belt just vibrates in the wrong places, it is arousing but not enough which is just frustrating! You could, technically insert something thin into my ass but really what would be the point?

So that is that, I am massively sexually frustrated, I think about sex 100% of the time and have daydreamed of having various sexual liaisons with almost everyone I work with and all my friends as well as complete strangers. I have become very flirty with everyone, even girls who work in sandwich shops who are clearly straight (I quite like my sandwich shop girl!).

I am very much looking forward to getting free of this thing and enjoying a hot bath and many, many orgasms!

Careful what you wish for

I’ve started to write this blog post so many times but I’ve just not been able to get the creative juices flowing enough to write anything worth posting. Maybe my creative juices are connected to some other juices that I’ve been having some issues with for the last eight and a half weeks.

Yes, thats right it has been THAT long and trust me when I say I have felt every single minute of it tick by like time has slowed to half speed.

So far I have collected ten keys which I would be quite pleased about if it wasn’t for the fact that I didn’t expect there to be ten keys in the first place and that I still have no idea how many more keys there are to go.

I’ve been to Edinburgh, Glasgow, London, Leeds, Newcastle, Newquay, Birmingham, Manchester, Oxford and Sheffield for the keys I have retrieved. I haven’t added it up but I think I’ve travelled a fair distance in my quest for freedom from this infernal device!

For those that don’t know I have quite a high sex drive, normally I have a minimum of one orgasm per day and that keeps me ticking over quite nicely however I have only ever cum a handful of times without some sort of clitoral stimulation and the chastity belt does an exceptional job of preventing that. So I was pretty badly horny after a couple of days and after a couple of weeks I was going crazy. I literally cried myself to sleep on several occasions because I was so frustrated.

The belt is fairly comfortable, for a foreign body locked around you 24 hours a day, but it does rub sometimes and I have had nights where I just couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t get comfortable in bed with it on. Wearing it under clothes isn’t as difficult as you might imagine, it is quite invisible under jeans and thicker tops and now that the weather has gone colder that is all the easier. For work I wear a business suit and I bought some thicker blouses so that the top of the belt wouldn’t be visible through them. It’s actually quite comfortable to wear it with a knee length skirt as there is no chance of anyone seeing it and once I’d relearned how to walk, sit and cross my legs normally it was fine. The only thing you have to be very conscious of is knocking it against things, even through clothes it makes a very metallic sound when it hits something solid so you have to be careful of that.

Hannah posted to say I was sulking and she wasn’t wrong, I’ve gone through a lot of emotions over these weeks from super crazy horny to totally depressed to happy (ish), it has been a real motion all roller coaster! The belt is so effective for me and for a long time I just wanted to cum, it occupied all of my thoughts and I tried at length to make it happen but failed. Then I begged and begged and made all sorts of promises to Hannah if she would just let me out but it turns out she has honestly forgotten the combination for the safe and retrieving the keys really is the only way out. She is still stubbornly refusing to tell me how many keys there are as well, her standard response being “you TOLD me not to say!”, which is technically true I suppose.

My “fuck buddy” friend situation isn’t going so well, I suspect he is getting bored with not being able to fuck anywhere but my mouth (which he has done a lot of late) but I think the problem is more his lack of creativity. I haven’t told him that because it isn’t part of our agreement for me to have input on how he uses me but he reads my blog so I guess this is me expressing my opinion!

Hannah has been acting quite the Domme through this whole thing, I think she is quite enjoying holding this over me, it might be interesting to see where that goes in the future.

I think that is all I have to say right now, not that exciting an entry I grant you but at least it’s an entry! I will try and post a bit more often, I know I’ve been pretty lax of late.

Last thing before I go, this is the porn I’ve been looking at of late (which by the way is a terrible idea when you’re in chastity but I can’t help myself!):

Body Writing Humiliation, Rope Bondage (esp. Crotch ropes), Severe Prolonged Predicament Bondage, Extreme Body Mods

They may take our lives but they will never take our freedom!

I am writing this completely naked, no clothes, no underwear, no pajamas and no metal chastity belt!

After warning me that my little task would be starting any day now I have been waiting expectantly and have heard nothing. After all my complaining that should probably be a good thing but now that it’s so close the apprehension is the worse part and she is keeping me hanging on far too long now!

In the mean time I carried our a little task that someone set me and spent three days with a bell from a cat collar tied to my clit ring! I thought this would be fairly easy but the thing rings at the slightest movement. I’ve never sat so still in a three hour meeting my entire life!

I also got a summons from my man friend, he wanted to fuck my pussy before it got Locked up and as he is free to do that whenever he feels like it I obediently agreed. There was one sticking point though, he wanted me there at 5pm but I had a meeting until 5pm that day.

My punishment for being late was that after he had filled my pussy with cum and I’d pulled up my knickers because he “doesn’t want me dripping on the carpet”, a comment which made my cheeks nice and red, he had me go into his little bathroom and kneel in front of the toilet, then bend over and put my head into the bowl, then he pissed all over my hair.

When I left a minute later my hair was dripping with his urine, I went down a side street and rung it out and then tied it back, it didn’t look too bad and fortunately it didn’t really smell but I had a thorough shower as soon as I got home!

I will keep you apprised if and when Hannah gets in touch, in the mean time I update twitter when my new friend calls so if you’re interested follow me on there!


P.s. The title of this post is referring to my freedom from chastity and is not a comment on the D/s lifestyle which I, obviously, condone!

Keeping busy

I’ve been keeping myself quite busy with work recently but I’ve also had a new “thing” going, eloquent I know but I’m finding it hard to find a name for it!

it started a while back when I was contacted by someone on collarme with what upon might call an indecent proposal. He was an older man (than me) who Was a Dom until he met his now wife over ten years ago, she wasn’t into it and he gave it up to be with her.

However, as I know all too well, you can stop acting upon your need for this lifestyle but you can’t remove the need, the man explained that while his wife and he are still very much in love their sex life has dwindled as she is less and less interested in it while his desires have increased and returned to centre around BDSM. They have talked about this at length and come to the agreement that he would be allowed to “see” someone to alleviate his frustrations.

He went on to say that he had no interest in using a prostitute and that instead he wanted to find someone who he could fulfil his desires with and then show the door with no romantic entanglements so that he could then go back to his happy marriage.

Now, I’m not sure what you are thinking right now but I was pretty skeptical at this point! However, it gets better!

After spending many days looking at BDSM personals sites he came across my collarme profile, read my blog and took an interest. He lives near Cambridge (like me) and has an office in the centre of town (like me) and wondered if I would be interested in some sort of arrangement.

There was a minor detail though, his wife wanted to meet and “approve” whoever he chose before anything happened and she would have final say over whether she was happy for it to happen and also have the power to stop it whenever she wished.

When I’d finished reading his proposal I thought it was totally weird but also really quite intriguing. As I’ve mentioned before, after the spectacular failure of my recent relationship and most of my previous relationships I am in no rush to get into another one but I still want and need to satisfy my own desires.

I decided to reply to his message and after quite a few messages back and forth over a few weeks we talked about an arrangement, he didn’t want a scheduled meeting in a dungeon somewhere, he wanted to be able to phone or text me whenever he had an itch and we would meet up so he could scratch it and then send me on my way and that appealed to me too. The degradation of being used like that, picked up and put down, appeals to my submissive side and the things he wanted to do with me definitely appealed to some of my other sides. Plus it’s exciting, not knowing when I’ll be called upon.

So I agreed and a date was set for me to meet his wife, it was just the two of us and I have to say it was one of the strangest hours of my life. The guy has his own business and is doing quite well so they live in a very nice house in one of the suburbs of Cambridge, she invited me in and then she made tea and cakes! She asked a lot of questions of me none of which were of a sexual nature, she wanted to know about my interests (outside of the bedroom), about my previous relationships (I could tell when I answered that she wasn’t expecting anyone with a female name to come up!) and my career and then she was done. She thanked me for coming to see her and for showing “The proper respect” and that was it I was free to go. I later got a text from him saying “You passed the test.”.

This was all a few months ago now and it is all going quite well really! The first time he called me we just went to a café and had coffee, the second time I went to his office and he bent me over his desk and fucked me before sending me back to work with soggy knickers. I the following weeks the visits continued in the same vein, he made a “deposit” in my other two holes on the next two visits and then once he’d tried out all three he moved onto other things.

Just to set the scene a little, these meetings rarely last more than half an hour, an hour at the max. Most of the time I remove only a few or no clothes, for instance the first visit where he fucked my pussy he just hiked up my skirt and pulled my underwear to the side. He just wants to do what he feels like doing and then send me on my way, which is perfectly fine with me, I have no interest in a relationship with the guy!

So after he had got the fucking out of his system, he moved onto a bit of humiliation. He had me kneel on his office floor and finger myself to orgasm, another time he had me keep my hands behind my back and make myself cum against his thigh while he sat in his chair. Another time he had me pull down my knickers, bend over a chair with my pussy pointing at him and fuck myself with a peeled banana until I came, then pull up my knickers and leave. I can’t imagine many of you have been in this situation before but let me tell you that walking out into the middle of town with your pussy filled with mashed up banana is not a simple thing to deal with when you only have ten minutes to get back to work! I loved it though!

His business in an accountancy for small businesses and his premises is only small, his office at the back and then the main room with his PA/Secretary/Receptionist in it. She is nice but not the sharpest tool in the box, it’s pretty clear he didn’t hire her for her brain though, poor girl!

He also quite likes my chastity belt, we have used it once, he text me one day and told me to bring it with me but to leave my locks and keys at home. When he text me against just before lunch he told me to bring the belt so I went via my car and arrived with the belt in a bag. He told me to get him hard with my mouth and then make him cum inside me. I knelt in front of his chair and took out his cock, I got him hard very quickly with my extensive skills 😉 and then pulled off my knickers and straddled him backwards (with my back facing him reverse cowgirl style), his cock slid easily into my wet hole and I began to fuck him but as I put all my effort into bouncing up and down he told me I wasn’t allowed to cum and then he filled me with his load.

He pushed me off and told me to put the belt on and before his cum had even had chance to start leaking from me he was clicking the locks closed on my belt, my very horny pussy was destined to go unsatisfied for three days until the keys arrived unexpectedly in the post.

So that is ongoing and I am having fun with it, it’s not everything I want but at least it is something and there are no strings attached to it which is perfect for me at the moment.

I have a few other things on the horizon as well so I will be back soon to tell you about those.


A little disclaimer for those new to reading this blog: The pictures I use in posts are very rarely of me, they re just pictures I find by searching the web for the topics I am writing about. If a post does contain a picture of me you will know because it will be in the “Pictures of me” category. Lo xx

4000 words…

I’ve gone over four thousand words on the post about my recent session It is taking forever to write it, not least because reliving it in my head has been getting me somewhat…….worked up! I’ve got a pretty full weekend in store so don’t expect anything in the next few days, it will more than likely be towards the end of next week now, hopefully it will be worth the wait!

Thanks to everyone who posted questions on the “Ask Me Anything” page, I think I have answered them all but keep them coming and I will keep answering. I have also added the tasks page back into the site, this is a page where people, should they wish to do so, can set me tasks to complete and when I have time I will pick one-off the list and carry it out, then report on my blog about just like I did with Dante’s not so long ago.

Thanks for the interaction everyone, it really means a lot to me, I find myself checking my inbox a lot more of late to see if anyone has been in touch so please don’t leave me disappointed!

Ask me anything

I don’t think I ever officially announced this “feature” on my blog but it has started to get used now so I thought I would mention it.

At the top of the page you will see a link to the “Ask Me Anything” page. Basically this does exactly what it says on the link, start a new comment asking me anything you like and I will reply to it as soon as I can.

A few people have asked things in the last few days and I have answered them as honestly as possible. If you want to learn more about me then that is probably the place to go.

Is this coming across as egotistical? It isn’t supposed to be, I just like talking with people and telling people about myself on here as I can’t do it much in real life!