Learning from my mistakes

If you’ve visited the site you’ll see that I’ve started to make some changes to it to bring it a little more up to date, it’s still a work in progress so bare with me but one of the things I wanted to do was give it a title, and I decided upon “Learning from My Mistakes” because a lot of the stories I seem to write about are the result of me doing something silly or being punished for doing something I should, as demonstrated in my last two posts!

I felt the title fit quite well and was something a bit more interesting than just “Pain Slut Lois” like it has been for the last (oh god!) 15 years of my blog! Are you sure you want more of this rambling nonsense?

Often times it is my mouth that gets me in the most trouble. A good example would be… I’m not sure, a while ago when Fi had brought home a friend and a couple of bottles of wine to go with the meal I’d made for us one Friday night. I took one sip and blurted out “That tastes like piss!”, I know I know, sometimes I have impulse control issues but in my defence it was pretty dodgy wine and it wasn’t entirely cold.

I knew I’d messed up from the look Miss gave me, it was the kind of look that most people would dismiss as a quick glance with maybe a hint of surprise mixed in there but that I know means “Well you’ll be paying for that later!” and my cheeks pinkened. To be honest the lok was unnecessary, I knew as soon as I’d said it that it was a mistake and Mistress knew that I knew that but she does love to make me squirm.

And squirm I did, for the rest of the evening I was distracted wondering what the consequences of my outburst would be. Fi has a way of administering something that in another scenario I might quite enjoy, such as a spanking or caning, in a way that really makes it feel like a punishment. A lack of warm up, the sharp suddenness of her actions, there are a hundred subtle changes she makes that makes it feel like I am being punished and makes it an unpleasant experience rather than a fun one.

As it turned out the punishment wouldn’t have been fun no matter how she shaped it for me. Appropriately considering my outburst I would be drinking her piss for a week, and not just any piss, her morning piss

She explained that this would a) remind me what piss tastes like so that I wouldn’t confuse her wine with it in future and b) make my mouth taste as foul as it sounded. I have to admit she does have a good knack for making the punishment fit the crime!

So every day for the next week I’d find a pint glass, yes a pint glass, filled with fairly dark yellow liquid sitting on the toilet seat after Fi had finished getting herself ready for the day and I’d kneel in front of the toilet, take the glass in my hand and slowly drain the very strong tasting urine down my throat being careful not to spill any as I was inevitably wearing a suit or something for work.

Mistress never watched me do it, it wasn’t a scene or a play session, I merely showed her the empty glass afterwards so she could confirm she was happy I’d completed my punishment that day and then we went on with our day. The only difference that week is that she refrained from giving me a goodbye kiss as we both left for work given I wasn’t allowed to rinse my mouth afterwards and, as he put it, “I have no interest in knowing what piss tastes like”.

For those that are not educated in such matters, no wine, no matter how bad, tastes like somebodies morning piss 🥂

Well if you insist…😊

Thank you so much for all of the kind words and encouragement I have received over the last couple of days both in comments and through my other means of contact (Twitter/FetLife), it has been really lovely and has meant a lot to me. So it is decided, I will dust off the old journal and get back to writing about some of the adventures I go on with Mistress Fiona.

I’ll spend some time making the site look pretty again (it’s looking very 2018 at the moment!) and in the meantime have a think about some things we have done that might make interesting reading.

Another short (although it didn’t feel like it at the time) thing I was talking about the other day was how Mistress uses my septum piercing. For those that don’t know I have my septum pierced and most of the time I have a small plastic spacer in it which I mostly don’t notice and is almost impossible to see unless you’re looing directly up my nose which I would hope most people don’t!

It gets used for various things, Mistress might attach a dog leash to it so she can lead my around by it, it’s had large and heavy rings in it that hang over my mouth and I’ve ben locked to objects (and people!) with a padlock through it.

On this occasion I’d absentmindedly pinched her bum as I walked past her and Mistress was not amused! She put a ring in my nose, cuffed my hands behind my back and then made me stand on a step while she hooked the nose ring over the clothes hook on the back of the bathroom door. The step was removed and I was left not quite able to put my feet flat on the floor for about two hours!

Ironically the only part of me that didn’t hurt when I was set free was my nose, I was so worried about ripping the ring out that I protected it at the expense of literally every other part of my body! My calves and thighs were agony, my neck was sore, my arms were aching and it took me a while to fully recover!

Suffice to say I haven’t pinched my Mistresses bum since and will certainly be keeping better control of my subconscious actions in future, unless of course I’m feeling particularly masochistic! 😈

I will update the links and everything on my blog when I sort it out but for those who have asked, you can contact me here on the comments, on twitter or on FetLife. For the latter of those please don’t send a friend request unless we have had at least one or two actual conversations! Thanks x

Holiday shenanigans – part one

Going back a few weeks to the beginning of August Mistress and I went on holiday to Portugal. We’d rented a huge villa with five bedrooms, a pool and hot tub, it was absolutely gorgeous and completely over the top for just the two of us but Mistress wanted to spoil us and who am I to argue with her?

The first week we barely left the villa and in fact I went a full four days, over 92 hours, without putting on a shred of clothing which is a record for me I think. It wasn’t my decision, obviously, but I did find it quite liberating not worrying about what to wear all the time. Mistress did not join me in the nakedness for the most part which I also enjoyed, her being dressed while I am naked is a nice subtle (maybe not so subtle for “normal people”) reinforcement of our positions which I enjoy.

Whilst for that period I wasn’t afforded clothing, for the entire holiday I was afforded the relaxation of my “one orgasm per week” rule which was truly divine! In fact one of the days whilst naked was at the extreme other end of the spectrum to denial. After a leisurely breakfast I went to lay by the pool whilst Mistress took a shower, I laid in the sun for a short while and then moved my sunbed into the shade as I burn pretty easily and that definitely isn’t a pain I enjoy!

About twenty minutes later Mistress appeared in a bikini and sarong carrying a beach bag. She headed over to me and I smiled up at her from my prone position. Smiling back she took my nearest arm and buckled a leather cuff around it before laying it above my head and proceeding to do the same with the other wrist. Finally she looped a piece of rope around the top of the sun bed and tied my cuffs to it. I still had plenty of movement but my arms where obviously now restrained above my head.

She took her little bag of tricks down and knelt beside me and with a simple touch and no words had me lift my legs into a frog position to give her access to my holes. I closed my eyes in anticipation, my pussy had become wet as soon as I’d seen her coming down the stairs towards me and now as I waited to find out what she would do to me next I could feel the heat building there.

I bit my lip as she slid something easily between my lips and it push through my opening but all too soon it was pulled back out. Then it was at my other opening, I realise the first “dip” had merely been to coat the item in my ready supply of lubricant to allow it a slightly easier passage into my ass.

There’s no denying that my ass is well used at this point and not the tight hole it was before I met Miss, however it is by no means “slack” (disgusting word) so I still felt the stretching sensation as she forced the item into me and the satisfying feeling as it slid inside and my hole retracted around its base confirming it was a plug and not a dildo that she had just sodomised me with.

As it turned out my pussy wasn’t going to be left out, another similar shaped item was pushed into it leaving me feeling quite full down there and then some gentle pressure on the top of informed me to put my legs back down. As I returned to a fully prone position I felt something cold on the back of my thighs which was quickly revealed to be a belt as Mistress wrapped it around my upper thighs tight enough to keep them in position and buckled it.

Mistress knows me completely and intimately but I also know her so I knew what it was that now filled my holes. Whilst I was in New York Mistress had used the Lovense Lush and Hush vibrators to torment me from another continent, this time it was just from the other side of the pool as she laid down and I felt them gently come to life inside me.

These are the best vibrators/eggs/plugs I have come across, the sensations they provide are amazing. The lush in particular sits right against my g-spot and can have my cuming in no time if set to a high enough setting. Mistress had the both running but only on the lowest setting which was only enough to get my breathing going.

My upper body was slightly inclined in the sun bed so I could see Mistress across the pool from me, sun hat and glasses on either looking at me or the iPad propped up on her knees. I could see her hand moving across the screen and kept bracing for a change in the sensations but for at least twenty minutes they just hummed gentle inside me keeping my mind focused on them but nothing more.

Then, just as I’d laid my head back to relax and enjoy the sensations the plug ramped up to full speed causing an involuntary “fuuuuuck” to escape my lips after which the pussy vibe synchronised with it and I couldn’t say anything at all as my body tensed and arched.

She left them there for a minute until somehow she knew I was on the verge of coming and then she dropped them both back down to the gentle hum, it wasn’t a ruin, more like an edge and I was left extremely horny and couldn’t sit still after that.

My legs were bound to a degree but I could still sort of rub them against each other in an attempt to create a sensation between my legs which I did but completely in vain as the “almost orgasm” faded away and I was just left squirming for the next hour and a half as she randomly adjusted the power of the vibrations in my holes. Sometimes they would come up together, sometimes just one or the other and sometimes alternating between the two but always just long enough to get me close but not over the edge.

I don’t really know how to describe how it feels to be tortured with pleasure, or the promise of pleasure for so long. It’s a sort of desperation, she’d forced an orgasm to be the entire focus of my being but denied it me for over an hour. Then one time when she had both vibes on full and then slowly began to back them off again I felt genuine despair and said “No! PLEASE!” despite myself.

Mistress immediately got up and slowly walked around the pool to me whilst still slowly reducing the power in the vibes. When she reached me I was blushing, I hate it when I can’t control myself like that, I love being her obedient pet and begging her to let me come is definitely not obedient but,technically, it worked.

She looked down at me and said “Please what?” to which I just sort of stared up at her, in my defence my mind was completely fuzzy! After a few seconds it obviously became clear to her I wasn’t going to respond so she shrugged and said “OK” then used her phone to turn the vibes back on to full.

As my orgasm built quickly back up I watched her walk to the stairs, up them and out of my view just before that gorgeous warm relief flooded my body and I moaned probably much louder than I should have outdoors.

The thing is though, the vibrations didn’t stop, or abate, or give me any time to recover and my orgasm quickly joined into a second and then third and with Mistress nowhere to be seen the tsunami of sensation overwhelmed me pushing coherent thought from my mind as I writhed on the sun lounger for another twenty minutes until thankfully the batteries ran out of the plug and then shortly after the vibrator.

As it turned out Mistress had been on the balcony filming me the whole time and returned to hold me. My whole body was shaking, almost shivering and I was coated in sweat as well as whatever had leaked out of me whilst I was having a years worth of orgasms.

Eventually I recovered enough to form a normal thought and thanked Mistress for….well, all of it and then we took a swim together whilst the vibes recharged.

I have more to write about from holiday, this isn’t even the really good part yet but it has ended up quite long so I’ll leave this post here and move straight on to the next one, more to come soon x

Read BDSM erotica stories at The Fet Library

Achievements

So it is 2pm on Thursday 10th May 2018 and I have been a very busy girl today and wanted to share everything I have achieved so far today!

I got up at 6am when my fitness band vibrated on my wrist, no snoozing, no second alarm just straight out of bed. I bought a fitness band not to track my steps and things but simply so that I could have a silent alarm that would make me but not Mistress as I have things to do before she wakes up.

I used the toilet and then got in the shower and cleaned myself thoroughly which includes ensuring that no body hair exists anywhere and that both of my holes are washed out with water .Occasionally Mistress will push a finger deep into me and if it comes out dirty then cleaning her finger with my mouth is the least of my worries! That hasn’t happened for a long time though.

After my shower but before dressing I went to the kitchen and prepared some food. Mistresses office location means she has few options for lunch so likes to take something with her, this morning I made a couscous and pomegranate salad whilst some croissant baked in the oven and then I took a croissant and coffee up to her.

Mistress enjoys watching me get ready for work whilst she eats her breakfast. At first it made me feel very self-conscious as she watched me dry my hair and apply my makeup and then get dressed, bending over and hiding nothing. Now though it is almost like a show, I make sure I bend over at just the right angles so that my fiancé can enjoy the best views of every part of my body.

Anyway, once I was dressed she called me over to the bed and opened her legs. There were no orders given, and despite the fact that I had just done my makeup etc, my lips were on hers almost immediately and I was savouring the taste of her as my tongue circled her clit.

She came with her hand on the back of my head so that she could grind her pussy into my face and casually lifted her leg over me and headed for the shower leaving me knelt on the bed.

I brushed my messed up hair again whilst her juices dried around my mouth because I’m not permitted to wipe it off, ever, then I applied my makeup again and changed my underwear which was already soaked through. That seems like a simple thing when you’re wearing a skirt but it really isn’t because I have to wear a matching lingerie set at all times so changing my knickers means also changing my bra and garter belt. I almost didn’t bother but I do like to start the day with at least mostly dry knickers!

When Miss came out of the shower I could see I was in trouble for something, she had that look on her face and it didn’t take me long to remember that I hadn’t picked my wet towel up off the floor in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and I walked over to her, knelt and then belt over her knee in as graceful a way as possible. She said “Do you know why?” and I responded “Yes Mistress, the towel, I’m sorry” and she replied with “Ten then”.

She lifted my skirt to reveal my ass cheeks (almost all of my underwear is thongs so that my ass cheeks are almost always bare) and I counted out each severe slap of her hand. Punishment spankings are very different from play spankings, there is no warm up, no gentle swats to get me ready or roaming fingers to explore how I’m reacting to the attention, it’s ten hard and fast and then a quick hug before she let me get up so she could get ready.

After doing my hair for the third time I left the house at 7:30 and sat uncomfortably in the car on my freshly reddened ass until I arrived at work.

At 12pm, having done just over four hours of work I left the office for my lunch hour, I rarely take the full hour but I needed to today. I got into a waiting taxi that I had already ordered as per the text I had received at 11am from Mistress, I reviewed some paperwork on the ten minute taxi ride. At my destination I asked the taxi to wait for me and then went down behind some buildings and knocked on the back door of a familiar one.

I was let in by the usual person and led in silence to a small messy office in the corner of the store-room where I pulled my skirt up around my waist and knelt on the floor. The guy has quite good stamina and despite my now well practised skills in fellatio it usually takes about eight minutes before I’m swallowing his cum, this time with his hand buried in my hair.

This “service” that Mistress has me provide has turned sucking cock and swallowing cum into a sort of non-thing for me. The act itself does turn me on but only really because of how humiliating it is to be used in that way by strangers, actually sucking the cock and swallowing is almost like muscle memory now, I can think about other things while I do it and my mouth just does what it is supposed to.

After sorting my hair again and reapplying lipstick I got back into the waiting taxi and had it drop me in town. I got a sandwich and a coke to join my “snack” and took it back to the office to eat with some of my colleagues.

I wonder what the rest of the day has in store for me!

Sometimes

Sometimes Mistress arrives home and she is just plain horny. There are no complicated rules or protocols to it, it is just raw animistic lust. It’s rough, its sexy and I love it.

The other day I was vacuuming the living room and I didn’t hear her come into the house, the first (quite shocking) thing I knew of it was her grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking my head back with one hand and roughly squeezing one of my tits with the other.

She bit into my neck, and I don’t mean she kissed it roughly or sucked on it, she bit me quite hard and tightened her grip on my hair and breast. I dropped the vacuum cleaner. She used my hair to push me down to the floor and then pulled her jeans and underwear down before lying down on the floor.

It was a little awkward as she pulled me by the hair, I didn’t know where she wanted me but eventually she got me in position, on all fours over her in a 69 position. She pushed my head down and I buried it in her pussy and began licking and sucking her very wet pussy.

She pulled my skimpy knickers to the side and actually ripped the thin lace in the process and pushed two fingers roughly into my pussy, which was also wet. They immediately came out though and she forced them into my ass and replaced them with her thumb in my pussy.

She fucked my pussy and ass with that hand and rubbed my clit with another whilst I licked and sucked her pussy and she had me on the edge very quickly and I had to stop licking to beg for my orgasm because I didn’t know if I could hold it but she just slapped my ass and moaned “don’t stop!” and I continued my attentions with my mouth assuming that was a no!

It’s hard to concentrate on what you’re doing when you’re that close to an orgasm but I all my willpower to focus on pleasing her and push my own teetering orgasm to the back of my mind until eventually she moan “cuummmmmm” and pinched my clit really hard. At the same time she clamped her thighs around my head and I let my orgasm go whilst still sucking her clit between my lips and trying to fight the urge to bite down.

As our orgasms died she pulled me and I basically fell down next to her and she wrapped her arms around me. We laid there not talking for a long while, half-dressed, glistening and panting until eventually she said “You stopped licking to ask to cum???”.

She dragged me up by my hair (she loves controlling me with my hair and I have to admit I love it too) and I stumbled up the stairs after her.

The cane bit hard on my ass and thighs, ten very hard strikes with no warmup other than the amazing sex downstairs. My ass was really sore afterwards and for days afterwards, I won’t be making that mistake again….probably.

So yeah, this sort of thing isn’t a rare occurrence, when Miss wants something from me she gets it immediately and without argument!

Changes

Last Sunday my Mistress told me she needed to have a very serious conversation with me about our future. I was very nervous as she sat me down, even allowing me to sit on the sofa beside her which made me feel even worse! She told me she had been thinking a lot about where we were going and what she wanted from our relationship, that she had come to certain conclusions and that I would have some important decisions to make today.

She laid out the conclusions she had come to in great detail. Our relationship as it stood was not going to be enough for her long-term, she wanted full-time permanent total power exchange where my only purpose in life is to serve her. I would be a literal slave.

I would need to give up my job, sign all of my assets over to her and give up any freedoms I currently have. She would control every aspect of my life and I would lose all the privileges I currently enjoy such as clothing, sleeping in a bed, use of a toilet or being allowed to leave the house, all of these would need to be earned once I became a slave and would be entirely at her discretion.

She told me not to say anything there and then, she realised it was a big decision and I would need time to think about it. She said she was going out and would return in a few hours but would need a decision from me when she returned, then she got up and left.

I vaguely remember hearing the front door closing as I sat on the sofa, completely in shock. My mind was exploding with different thoughts as the gravity of what Miss had just said started to hit me like a ton of bricks.

I am so, SO happy with Mistress in a way that I’ve never felt before, no relationship has ever fulfilled me the way this one does and I’ve never felt so connected with someone before. However I have worked incredibly hard to get to where I am in my career and giving it up at a point where I could actually reach my goals in the next few years would be almost impossible for me to do, and even if I did it I could see her making me give it up causing some serious issues in the future.

And that is just my job, then there is all the other stuff. Sleeping in a cage EVERY night, never being allowed to wear clothes unless I earn the privilege .Going to the bathroom outside rather than using the toilet. I mean I have significant restrictions on how I live already but this is a whole new level, a different mindset that I have now.

All of this was flowing through my mind and I flitted between being really angry that she had just dropped this on me like this and being absolutely devastated because I didn’t think I could be what she wanted and then trying to think about it rationally and deciding if there were parts of it that I could comply with, maybe there was some compromise that we could come to.

I hadn’t moved from the sofa for what felt like hours (Miss tells me she was only gone an hour) when I heard the front door again, I stood and waited for her to come in. When she did I immediately started speaking but she held up her hands and gestured for me to sit down. I did and she looked at me in the same serious way she had before and said “April Fools!”.

Tears burst out of my eyes as it dawned on me and I screamed “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” and she just burst out laughing. I was completely incredulous and couldn’t stop walking around the room alternating between smiling and giving her furious glares!

Eventually I managed to calm down and she apologised, admitting it was a bit of a mean prank but the relief of finding out it wasn’t real was like a huge weight off me and I actually felt pretty good afterwards in a strange sort of way.

Since the weekend we have discussed some of the things she pretended to want and both of us has reassured the other that we are very happy with how things are at the moment so some good has come out of it. Also I got a seriously severe caning for calling my Miss a bitch, which she of course is not!

 

Finger discipline

I’ve mentioned on plenty of occasions how I believe my body betrays me at every available opportunity. To be honest I’m not entirely sure if it is my body itself or if it is my subconscious that is doing the betrayal and my body is just jumping on the band wagon or following orders, it’s hard to tell. It’s a little scary to be honest because I do think that my subconscious has a little too much control over my body.

Normal people leave bodily functions such as breathing and their heart pumping to the parts of their brain that can act without conscious thought and that is fine but I am starting to believe that my own version has slightly larger aspirations than just keeping me alive.

For those that don’t know what muscle memory is I’ll give a definition:

the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement.

So things like typing or driving use muscle memory heavily so that you don’t have to think about what your hands and feet are doing, you can just concentrate on what you’re writing or where you are going.

Over the past year or so Mistress has been teaching me, more like training me really, to act in the way that she wants. I relish this and take genuine pride in behaving how she expects with very little input required from her especially when I can see that it pleases her. I’ve mentioned before that she can tell me to open my legs and by the time my brain has registered what she has said my legs are already open and recently she told me why.

For months now every time she told me to open my legs (which is quite often by the way!) she has opened them for me as she said the words. Not before, not after but as she spoke the words she pulled my knees apart. I honestly didn’t notice at the time, I’ve long since become used to her touching me and moving my body and just accept it, and it never occurred to me that she was building an association in my subconscious between those words and that action.

Mistress also told me that there are other associations that she has built or is in the process of building in my brain but she refused to tell me what they are, she said it is none of my business. I’m not convinced that is technically true but anyway…

There are other things that I have learnt which are less ingrained but I still believe she has indoctrinated into me. For example if she points at the floor that is a subtle signal for me to kneel at her feet, if she points with the left hand I kneel on the left and vice versa. This sort of thing is very useful for her to assert her control in vanilla settings. At Christmas we were all at my mother’s house, Mistress sat on the sofa and subtly pointed at the floor in front of her. Despite there being several seats free I knelt by her legs much to the confusion of my mother who asked why I didn’t sit on a seat, I just replied that I liked it on the floor which fortunately she accepted without much argument.

Whilst kneeling isn’t something my body does without my input (thankfully!) there is a subconscious element to it. It’s not just following a predefined command, when I see her make that gesture I want to kneel there for her and there is a certain amount of compulsion for me to comply.

Anyway, this is all background and not the point of this post. The reason I went off on this tangent is to demonstrate that I, the neural pathways that constitute the Lois personality, cannot always be held responsible for my actions and therefore it is not my fault that I was awoken on Saturday morning by my own moans with two fingers pushed inside my dripping wet pussy!

Mistress was well and truly awake, propped up on her elbow and had been watching my unconscious masturbation for several minutes when I started to come around (pun intended!). Her first words to me that morning were “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”, which sounds mean but she did have a huge grin on her face when she said it.

I quickly pulled my hand out from under my slip but didn’t know what to do with it, my fingers were coated in juices. Mistress grabbed my hand and wiped my fingers over my face and then she jumped out of bed still holding my wrist and pulling me across it until I almost fell onto the floor out of her side.

I managed to get my feet on the floor and she pulled me around to the foot of the bed and bent me over to lean on it, I knew what was coming and in the hope of winning some favour I reached back and lifted my slip over my ass. This is Mistresses favourite punishment caning position.

In case you weren’t aware I have a bit of a masochist streak so getting whipped, cropped, paddled, flogged and caned isn’t usually an effective punishment or deterrent for me, In fact in less disciplined times I may have intentionally earned such “punishments” however they have usually started with maybe some flogging, then a few paddles and then once I’m warmed up the hot sting of the cane.

Mistresses punishment canings are somewhat different in that they begin with twenty or so full forced swats to my unprepared ass and then end. Whilst I’m usually wet when she’s finished (I refer you back to my opening statement regarding my bodies constant betrayals) they are definitely a punishment and neither the act itself nor trying to sit down at any point in the following few hours is enjoyable…….well maybe a tiny bit! Sssshhhh!

So my Saturday started with a bang, twenty bangs, but then the whole incident seemed to be forgotten. Mistress and I went to Miss Hannah’s house that evening (I may write about that later) and then had quite a relaxing Sunday. However that evening I learn the real punishment for my transgressions.

Mistress claims that this isn’t a punishment but rather an aid to assist in my training to be a better submissive and to control my “wanton sluttiness” better. Every night since Sunday at 10pm I have been locked in my chastity belt until 7am the next morning.

Apparently I have put on a little weight (although I am still within the narrow weight guidelines that Mistress has prescribed for me) because the belt feels quite tight, especially around my pussy which feels sort of “squashed” when I have the belt on. This is a custom-made, very effective chastity belt so it definitely preventing my wandering fingers in the night but it certainly doesn’t allow a comfortable sleep.

Mistress says that if I’m good I will only have to wear it a week but if “the issue” recurs then “we” might need to look at a longer term solution. She left it at that which kind of scares the crap out of me and leaves me massively turned on to be honest!

So, to you the jury, can I honestly be held responsible for the actions of my so-called subconscious? Is it really me who is culpable for the nocturnal masturbation’s of my unconscious body? Or should these charges be thrown out with prejudice?

The defence rests Your Honour.

 

Opposites attract

When I come home from work all I really want to do is to cuddle up to Mistress and chill for a little bit but here lies a small incompatibility between us. When Mistress gets home from work all she wants to do is sit quietly on her own and read the news apps. I think this disparage is environmental, Mistress deals with people all day in her work and when she gets home she doesn’t want to hear me rabbiting on at her as well whereas I can often feel quite solitary in my job either when I’m working from home or sat in my office at work separated from my staff.

When we first moved in together this created a number of “confrontations”, nothing major, unnecessary hurt feelings etc but eventually we talked about it and came to an understanding with each other. Now when Mistress arrives home she goes and sits in a chair that she likes to read in, I curl up by her feet and lay my head on her leg and she strokes my hair whilst she catches up on the news on her iPad. She gets her quiet time and I get the company and attention that I need.

In reality this happens about once or twice a week as our schedules rarely match up that perfectly and there are the annoying realities of housework, meals and working late intrude upon our lives.

However, one day recently the planets aligned and I found myself naked with my head resting on her fully clothed knee as she ran her fingers through my hair absentmindedly and I daydreamed about nothing in particular, just enjoying the feeling in my hair and then contentedness of being at her feet.

I didn’t even realise she’d stopped stroking my hair until I heard the latex glove snap around her wrist and heard her say “open your legs sweetheart”. I obeyed immediately…

Slight sidenote here but my obedience training has come a long way in recent months to the point where certain common commands like “open your legs” happen immediately. I think even before my conscious brain has had time to process what has been asked of me. Its sort of like muscle memory or maybe that she has found a way to directly access the part of my brain that controls my muscles, I don’t know but it is something that I have really started to notice recently, it’s almost disturbing really! Anyway…

and she reached between them with her gloved hand and ran three fingers up my pussy lips, the middle one pushing between them, entering my hole slightly and running over my clit. Then she sat back in her seat again and told me to close my legs and resumed stroking my hair and reading her iPad. I knew what she’d put on me, I smelt it as her hand went past me and I could already feel its effects on the sensitive skin, she’d smeared tiger balm all over my pussy.

As is her way when she inflicts this sort of “casual torture” on me she didn’t say a word about it, there was no big scene or explanation, just a small act that brought me out of any sort of daydream I was having and focused my attention purely on the intense burning now enveloping my pussy.

I stayed there for about ten minutes keeping still but dying to squirm as my pussy burned unbearably until she gestured for me to get up with a gentle push on my shoulder and I got up and headed to the kitchen to make our food. I blushed as I got up, there was no hiding the copious wetness that was all over my thighs.

I’d been in the kitchen for about twenty minutes when she came up behind me, one hand wrapped around me and she kissed my head as the other slid between my legs (which opened at her touch) and she applied another coat if tiger balm over my pussy and this time ended by sliding a finger about an inch into my ass.

She left the room and I leaned both my hands on the counter and screwed my eyes up, the burning was super intense to the point it was almost a stinging feeling. I composed myself though and finished making the food and when Mistress returned we sat down to eat.

We chatted through dinner but I found it hard to concentrate and squirmed around so much that Mistress had to tell me to sit still. My ass just burned and I got used to that after a short while but my pussy was a more severe sensation and I could feel that it had become puffy and could also feel that it was leaking significantly.

After dinner I cleared up in the kitchen, including wiping clean the mess I’d made on my chair and wiping the copious mess that was smeared all over my groin before heading into the lounge to kneel before Mistress.

As I’ve mentioned before, since the start of the year I have only been allowed one orgasm per week and in between I must endure mandatory “ruined orgasms”. This happens after I have cleared up from our meal, I kneel in front of Mistress with my legs spread wide and my hands on my inner thighs right up at the top so that my thumbs are wrapped around my thighs and my index fingers are touching my pussy lips. When Mistress is ready she will then come and kneel behind me and stimulate my clit with her fingers, she is quite skilled at it and gets me close very quickly.

Despite my knowing that she isn’t going to let me cum properly it seems that the intelligent part of my brain can’t keep track of that and I just fall into the trap of enjoying the sensation every time until she takes me past the point if no return and then stops all stimulation. It takes a lot of self control to hold my position and I’ve failed several times, the sensation is crazy and my body has involuntarily bucked and shaken when it happens before now.

This time though my pussy was swollen and overly sensitive and her touches were painful as well as pleasurable, it took longer than usual to get me there and when she ruined it the burning seemed to start all over again and I instinctively slapped both hands over my pussy. Not to try and save my orgasm, just to, I don’t know, protect it somehow!

She waited patiently for me to resume my position and then started her stimulation’s again. I managed to hold my position this time but tears of frustration rolled down my cheeks as my pussy tensed fruitlessly and she pulled me into a long embrace.

As punishment for moving I slept in the cage that night after Mistress had applied more tiger balm to my nipples, pussy and ass. It was not a good nights sleep!

Reminder

Last week I wrote about an argument that I had with Mistress, the point being to highlight the difference between the fantasy D/s relationships you read about and the reality that while it is a different type of relationship it is still just two people living together and getting on with their lives.

The initiator for the argument, as I mentioned, was that Mistress got a drink of orange and left the bottle on the counter. It seemed like a little thing and it is, it normally wouldn’t have bothered me but I’d had a bad day and was already frustrated, I had literally just tidied up the house and was started to make dinner when it happened and I lost my temper.

In the midst of the argument (and I use that term loosely, it was more of a minor disagreement) I might have suggested that Miss was “like a man”! That is probably insulting to men in general (the ones who put things away after them anyway!) and all sorts of people but I knew as soon as I’d said it that it was a particular mistake to say it to Miss. To my surprise though it appeared I got away with it as she didn’t bring it up at all.

I should have known better. Mistress doesn’t really go on about things, she is more of a doer than a talker and at the weekend her method of rectifying my impression that she was “like a man” arrived in a large package. She let me open it and after breaking open the packaging I took out a huge “realistic” strap on dildo with harness!

When I say this thing was huge I mean it is bigger than any other toy we own and bearing in mind that I’ve not really anything large in any hole for some time it was quite daunting!

I’ve put a picture of the thing on the left, it’s called the “King Kong” and it is nine inches long and two inches wide!

I spent most of Saturday afternoon thinking about what was going to happen that evening, as usual it had been a week of daily ruined orgasms so I was super horny by the time Saturday came round. Not least because I’d been sent to give an older guy a blow job in his car on Tuesday lunch time and had helped Mistress to orgasm three times during the week with no relief for myself.

It all happened fairly unexpectedly in the end, I was in the middle of making dinner when Mistress grabbed my hair and pulled me, struggling not to fall over, out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. I managed to turn around by ducking my head down which meant her grip on on my hair was tighter and it was being pulled but at least I could walk a little.

As I stumbled up the stairs I noticed she was wearing a top and jeans, the jeans were open at the front and the huge rubber cock was sticking out and bouncing around as she walked.

We got to our room and she pushed me onto the bed and then yanked my underwear down so hard that she ripped them and then all of a sudden she was between my legs and the tip of the cock was pushing between my lips. I have to admit I was already dripping and it was a good job because she wasn’t gentle, she pushed hard and when my little pussy struggled to take it’s girth she just started thrusting which caused the thing to penetrate me a little further each time.

As is my nature, body and mind, my pussy relented and before long she was fucking me with thing fast and hard and I was just starting to enjoy it when she pulled it out leaving my gaping pussy tensing around thin air.

Before I really had time to acknowledge my disappointment she was pulling my ass cheeks apart and pushing the head against my asshole. As we all know it’s not like my ass is new to being penetrated but it’s been fairly few and far between in recent times and this thing felt like it was tearing me in two!

The dildo is quite soft and Mistress had to wrap both of her hands around it whilst she pushed hard, my hands and mouth were full of duvet as she overpowered my ass and pushed the head inside.

She was possibly a little less forceful than she was with my pussy, which was still trying to come to terms with it’s emptiness by the way. Instead of thrusting she pushed down on my lower back and applied pressure on the dildo for a few seconds at a time, each time my ass swallowed a little more of the monster as I , literally, screamed into the duvet.

I didn’t know at the time but she waited until I’d taken all nine inches before she slowly pulled out and then did it again, and again, and again until my ass accepted it’s fate and she could thrust properly, at which point she started what must have been at least twenty minutes of unforgiving, ass destroying, deep fucking.

It’s hard to describe the pain, it’s like a burning sensation when your ass is stretched beyond what you can normally take but I do like being fucked anally so there was pleasure too as demonstrated by the mess I made on the bed!

After those twenty minutes Mistress pushed hard, burying the dildo in my ass and then released it from herself. She turned me over and pushed me further onto the bed before climbing over me until she straddled my face and my entire world was her wet pussy.

I lapped at her pussy, pushing my tongue into her and flicking it around before retracting it and running rings around her clit. After a little while of my focused attention she was cumming hard on my face which was covered in her juices.

Once she was done she moved over and laid against the headboard before pulling me by the hair until I was leaning on her with my back against her chest and sitting on the harness with the dildo still fully in my ass. Her lips found my neck and her magic fingers found my clit and it took me less than a minute before I was cumming so so hard, my ass clamping around it’s destroyer!

Mistress whispered in my ear as I came down from my orgasm “Now do you know the difference between me and a man?”.

It’s Monday today and my ass is still really sore from taking that monster dildo so deep, evening sitting is tender, an added reminder to be careful what I say!

 

Ruination

In the few weeks since I have been home from the states Mistress has discovered something that seems to bring her great joy and it is something, perhaps surprisingly, that I’d never really heard of before.

It started off one morning before we’d even got up, she moved my hands above my head and slid her fingers between my legs which opened eagerly despite me still being half asleep. She found me already a little wet (who knows what I’d been dreaming about!) and gave my pussy a few spanks for “being such a slut”, by which time I was very much awake!

After the spanks she started to circle my clit int he expert way she does and before long I was pushing back at her fingers as she brought me closer and closer. As my hands gripped around handfuls of bed sheet I begged “Oooohh Mistress please can I come?” and she said yes and I let me orgasm go. However, as I did she stopped all stimulation and just held my legs apart.

It’s a bizarre sensation, it’s like your orgasm happens but without the ecstasy, pleasure or release and you’re left feeling incredible unsatisfied and frustrated. That first time I also felt some anger boil up inside me although I didn’t show it, I just let out a panicked and sharp “Noooo!” as my eyes flew open to stare at Mistresses smiling face and she said “Frustrating isn’t it?” and then jumped out of bed leaving me panting and squirming.

I later discovered she’d done it to herself while I was away to see what it was like and had decided there and then it was something she wanted to inflict on me. As regular readers will know, whilst I was single I masturbated twice a day on average and Mistress believes this was extremely self-indulgent and completely unacceptable for a sub. Since I have been hers she has weened me down to cuming only once every other day and only with her permission, usually with her direct involvement.

I’d heard of male ruined orgasms before, basically just stop touching as they cum and their cock spasm and cums but without any continued stimulation it isn’t particularly enjoyable. The same thing for girls was new to me though and I have to say it is really horrible. Every single time I think I won’t let myself get to into it because I know she’s going to ruin it but then every time I get to a point where I’m just all about getting to the orgasm that she then ruins!

She has process for it now, I kneel with my legs spread and the palms of my hands resting right at the top of my inner thighs, basically as close to my pussy as they can get without touching it. Then she uses her expert skills to bring me to the edge, waits for me to ask and then ruins it, it’s torture quite unlike anything I’ve experienced before. It is so hard to maintain my position, my fingers just next to my clit, knowing the slightest touch would prevent the intense frustration.

On Christmas Eve, despite my Mother and Sister being in the house with us she gave me multiple ruins and I was particularly grumpy that night. Then. on Christmas morning after a massively frustrating day before she gave me a real orgasm and I had to bite the pillow to stop me screaming it was so good and I spent the day in the best mood ever!

At the moment I am getting daily ruins and one orgasm per week, it’s really hard to cope with but I am managing so far. A couple of times she has accidentally pushed me over the edge and not stopped in time, those are possible the most fun orgasms because they are naughty but not my fault, event though I get pussy slaps for them.

So that is Mistresses new favourite thing and unfortunately she is getting really good at it, I haven’t had a real orgasm all week and am looking forward to her allowing me one over the weekend, I’m smiling just thinking about it!

A few people have tried guessing which goal I have succeeded in completing already, some got it right and some didn’t but I will be writing about it soon I promise!