Good news and bad news

The bad news first, there has been a bit of a set back with the microchip plan. I actually have the chip now but when it came down to it the vet backed out. They were worried about getting into trouble which I totally understand, for them it’s not worth being unable to practice after seven years of training.

It’s a bit of a blow though, I was getting really excited about it because I knew it was happening soon, I’d even booked an appointment at Mistresses friends studio to get the paw print done over it but I’ve had to cancel that now until W/we can find someone else to implant it. I thought about just doing it ourselves, how hard can it be? but Mistress veto s that plan, She read up about it and the microchip can move inside you if it isn’t placed properly which wouldn’t be good.

The plan we decided upon was to put the chip in the top of my inner thigh with the paw print over it. I think that is a nicely intimate place for it. When I know more about when it will happen I will let you know, in the mean time Liz (aka painslutliz) has given me details of the company who made her brand and W/we may look into having one made to Mistresses design, I will keep you posted.

The good news? As you know I recently took my Mistress to meet my Mother and make the revelation that She was in fact my “girlfriend”. My lesbian status has always been a secret from my family and, up until recently, my friends.

The plan was to tell my Mother over the phone in advance so that it wouldn’t be so awkward when we were there, unfortunately that plan fell apart due to my cowardice! I completely chickened out and when we arrived at the house I was extremely nervous.

The house isn’t very big, only two bedrooms as my parents moved there after I went to university. The second room was mine because I still technically lived at home but in actual fact I only stayed there when I was on holidays from Uni, I never went back to live there afterwards because I wanted to live in London where I’d lived my whole life, I LOVE London!

Anyway, we would be staying together in my old room so we went and dumped our stuff and Mistress went for a shower and sent me off to break the news.

She took it well, I told her that “Kayleigh isn’t just my friend, she is my GIRLFRIEND, as in my partner”. My mother was like “oh, you mean you are together, romantically?” I said yes and then she just said “oh, ok then” and then that was it really! I feel a bit like it didn’t sink in properly, five minutes later Mistress was there being all sweet to my Mother and it was just like nothing had changed.

We went out for a meal that night, Mistress and my Mother (that sounds like a movie!) got on really well, it was weird for me sitting there while they talked about me like I wasn’t there.

Mistress managed to be respectful to my Mother without ever seeing to lose Her dominance, I don’t know if that’s just the way I saw it and was influenced by the fact that She is my Domme but it just felt like She as respectful and courteous but that it was clear She wasn’t going to be told what to do or bossed around. And my Mother, who is always bossy to me and had me running around doing errands for her didn’t ask Mistress to do anything except have another glass of wine!!

Anyway, so it went well and I feel really good now that She knows although I think there will be another talk any day now once she has fully processed the information. I’ll keep you posted on that too.

Two other posts are in the works by the way, the party post has stalled a little but WILL get finished eventually and a brief write up of my latest dice game is almost done so check back soon.

Not what I expected

I have to be honest, when I opened this poll I did not expect this outcome!  I always had dog in my mind, although the humiliation of being registered as a cow did make me a little wet, but I definitely didn’t have Poodle in mind.

I was thinking Labrador, I have no logical reason why my mind would go there straight away but that is what it did. Obviously the majority of your minds went to Poodle although it only won out over Cocker Spaniel by one vote so that was also a popular choice. I’d be interested to know why people chose the way they did if anyone cares to add a comment and explain.

Anyway, so that is that, once I get my microchip implanted I will be registered on the national pet database as a Poodle named Lois and then if I get lost and someone finds me they can scan me and return me safely to my Mistress.

The chip has been ordered but it is coming from America so I will have to wait for it to arrive and then will have to wait for Mistress to arrange a good time with the vet. W/we are hoping the vet will agree to do the implantation in the veterinary surgery which I think will make it even more humiliating/exciting!

We still haven’t decided where on my body it will go, I am leaving that up to Mistress to decide. It is a more difficult decision then you might think because She has decided almost certainly that I will be getting a paw print tattoo over the location of the microchip. It can’t, therefore, be anywhere too visible and if it is at all visible I will have to have a reason for getting it because I will get asked. Also, Mistress revealed to me, that She has plans for certain parts of my body and that a tattoo in certain places might get in the way of those plans in the future.

I pressed Her for more information on that after the third time of asking She locked a ball gag on me for four hours which I think was a fairly comprehensive way of telling me to stop asking!

In other news, rather big news, Mistress and I are going to visit my Mother this weekend. This will be the first time she has met Mistress but I intend to warn her in advance that She isn’t just a friend, I haven’t plucked up the courage to do so yet though! There is nothing in her/my past to suggest that my Mother will react badly to the news other than that she is quite straight laced and I can’t see how she would see it coming at all. I think it is going to be a shock!

p.s. the latest poll won’t seem to close properly so you still seem to be able to vote, don’t bother though because your vote won’t count but you may still be charged!


I was in the cage, alone, in the dark, all night, Mistress finally turned up, naked, and let me out at around 10am on Sunday by which time all my joints were aching and seized up and my nipple and pussy lips were totally numb but sort of throbbing, it was a weird sensation.

I can’t remember the last time I have been clamped for so long, especially with such strong clamps. I don’t know how many of you have had binder clips attached to your more sensitive areas but let me tell you those things are STRONG! and it hurts like crazy when they are put on, they really crush the flesh and pinch something rotten!

Once She let me out of the cage She left my hands cuffed and took me over to the bed, once I was laid on my back She knelt over my head, facing my feet, and then lowered Her wet pussy onto my face so that I could “thank” Her properly.

Whilst I was thanking Her, She very slowly removed each of the clamps. She started with my nipples, first one then the other, it was total agony as the blood rushed back into them and She rubbed them between Her fingers but I loved it and She loved me moaning into her.  Once my nips were free She leant over pushing Her pussy harder into my face, then She took a clamp in each hand and pulled them stretching my lips away from my body. She pulled them taut and then released both clamps at once and I half scream half moaned into Her pussy as I felt the blood pulsing once again through my swollen cunt lips.

I was very wet and I got a real treat, whilst She continued to grind her pussy into my face, She held my lips apart and began sucking on my clit. This was a massive surprise to me as She never goes down on my, She pleasures me in plenty of other ways but never like this. I was coming within sixty seconds and then I made Her cum as well, all over my face and She tasted delicious.

Later on I asked Her why She had put me in the cage, She simply said “because I can”, so that was that!

Locked up

Here I was, minding my own business catching up on watching The Walking Dead when Mistress turns up out of the blue.

No “hello”, She just tells me to follow Her and leads me into the bedroom, then into my closet. I think I’ve mentioned this before, I have a sort of walk in wardrobe but that makes it sound a lot fancier than it is! Anyway, in the closet she tells me to take my clothes off whilst she rummages in my toy chest, she hands me cuffs and tells me to put them on, wrists first and then ankles.

Then she pulls out some binder clips, one goes onto each nipple and the I spread my legs and she decorates each of my pussy lips with one too. Lastly she tells me to “open wide” and in goes a ball gag which gets fastened behind my head.

Then she tells me to get in my cage which I do as gracefully as is possible, backing myself in so that I’m not facing a wall. She bends down and kisses my gag and then puts a padlock through the d-rings on my wrist cuffs and locks it. She takes my phone out of my jeans and hands it to me then shuts the cage and puts a padlock through it.

The last thing She says is “I’ll see you later” and then She closes the door throwing me into darkness and then I hear the key turn in it and then nothing.

I’ve been here for about two and a half hours now. I’ve no idea what I did to deserve this, my nips and lips are somewhere in between agony and numbness, it’s hard to describe! I’ll let you know if Mistress turns up any time soon.

Change of plans

Yesterday was not a good day, I don’t really want to go into the main reason why but there were various things that all seemed to get the better of me at once! I swayed between furious and on the verge of tears for several hours and by the time I got home I was physically and mentally exhausted.

Fortunately Mistress dropped everything (called in sick) and came round, She listened to me, held me and then dominated me. It felt really good to just let it all go and just be Her sub and nothing more. Wearing only my collar I bathed Her, I fed Her, I massaged Her, I basically did whatever She told me to do and I didn’t think about any of it, I just did it, it was amazing and just what I needed. Eventually She put me to bed in my cage at the bottom of my bed (which She slept in) and I slept better than I have in a long time, I was totally content.  This morning I felt much better.

One of the things we did agree on last night is that I will no longer be serving as the “toilet attendant” at the party tomorrow night.  I’m not entirely sure what my role will be at this point but I am still going and I doubt I will just be another guest, we will see.

Sorry if this turn of events disappoints anyone but I will still let you know what we get up to.

Party treats

I completed my first dice task at the weekend and have started the write up of it, I promise to have it online by this weekend. I also promise to try and update you more often, even if it is just small “on the train” updates like this one.

Next week I expect to have some interesting to write about, although it may not be to every bodies taste (that’s a pun, you’ll get it later!). In fact parts of it will very likely not be to my taste either but I wasn’t really given a choice in the matter.

For some time Mistress and her friend, another Domme have been trying to organise a BDSM party and it has finally come to fruition. The party will be held at a rented farm house which is out on its own (no one to hear us scream!) but is not too far away from civilisation.

The guests have been carefully selected (Mistress assures me that no one will know me) from their collective friends and acquaintances within the community. There will be 20-25 people there comprised of Dommes, Doms, subs and slaves so it should be a really interesting party. It is the first time I have been to a large BDSM event in a very long time so I am quite nervous about it really.

I had expected to be at Mistresses side at the party but on Tuesday She explained that I would have a “job” instead. My job with be “Bathroom Attendant” and my duties will be to provide any assistance the guests require in the bathroom, a fairly vague remit!

I have performed a similar role at a party before where i was a “human toilet” for the evening but that was a very long time ago and i have to say i am not entirely sure that i am looking forward to it this time!

Mistresses friend’s sub got into serious trouble recently, I’m not entirely sure what for but I know that she almost lost her collar over it and is currently being punished indefinitely. It was planned that she would be a waitress at the party but now, as part of her punishment she is going to be a “living statue”.

I’m not sure of the specifics but Mistress told me that she is going to be blindfolded, gagged and wear ear plugs and will then be tied into a tight Shibari tie and placed on a table in the middle of the main room for the duration of the party.

After Mistress told me about that I was glad I got the bathroom job I think. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the middle of a room full of people in total sensory deprivation, I think it would drive me crazy! I’ll try and find out what she did if I get chance to speak to her.

I have been worried and excited about this party for a couple of months ever since Mistress first mentioned it. Worried because it is the most exposure I have had of this side of my life since I left London and excited because, well, it is the most exposure I have had since leaving London! I was expecting Mistress to show me off though so I’m a little disappointed at being stuck away from the main party 😦

I shall let you know how it all goes!

Preparing for the games

Thank you for your suggestions for the dice game, I’m just deciding if I should collate all the ideas into one set or keep them all as they are and either have a vote for the best one or play a game using each one. Your opinions would be gratefully received.

On Saturday morning Mistress revealed to me that we were going to see a man who teaches people to tie shibari, which is Japanese rope bondage in case you don’t know. I don’t know if I was more excited when I thought I was going to be learning to do it or when I found out I would be the “model” for the training!

I thought it was going to be one on one training with the guy and Mistress but when we arrived their was a Dom and another Domme there already. I found out later that the two others had paid for the lesson but Mistress had got it free by providing the model!

I had to remove my clothes in front of all of them (very red face!), the teacher said that I could leave my underwear on if I wanted but Mistress “suggested” that it would be better if I didn’t so I ended up stood in front of them stark naked staring down at the floor.

He did a crotch rope on me, a full body harness, a “shrimp tie” (very uncomfortable) and a half suspension. Sorry I don’t know the proper names for them yet. They left me in the half suspension, pussy on show and complete with a rope gag, whilst they all sat around me and had coffee!

Anyway, a good part of Sunday was then spent practicing what Mistress had learnt and apparently I will be used to pay for several more lessons in the near future!

Fifty Shades of Lois

I know I’ve been away for a while but I am going to jump straight in where I left off and then talk about things at the end…

It was the last day of my punishment and I as I’d said in my last post I was REALLY ready for it to be over and I had definitely learned my lesson, no more lies! I’d like to say this is just for moral reasons but in actual fact it’s just not worth another week like that to keep ANYTHING from her!

Before she came round I had a long soak in the bath and did my best for everything to be clean when the belt came off, then I put on some stockings, some big heals and a nice LBD ready for her arrival. She got to my house at about 7.30pm and I was waiting for her knelt behind the door, this has become a bit of a custom now and I think she likes it so I always try to be there if I know she is coming.

When she let herself in I kept my eyes on the floor submissively and just waited, she walked straight passed me and into the bedroom, my heart was beating like crazy and I didn’t know what to do.  Eventually she came back out having left her stuff in there and she squatted in front of me, finally she used her finger under my chin to lift my head to look at her.

Before I knew what was happening her lips were on mine and she kissing me with an urgency more than anything I have felt from her before, in fact she kissed me so hard that I fell backwards onto my arms (ouch!) but she just came with me, straddling my body with her thighs and keeping her lips pressed against mine.

I pulled my arms from under me and hugged her close as we kissed for a good five minutes, eventually she pulled away and said “I missed you” and I said “Oh god I missed you so much Kay” and we kissed a bit more, I was wet again already!

I didn’t want her to ever get off but she got back up and helped me do the same, unfortunately she lead me into the lounge, not the bedroom, holding my hand and we sat together on the sofa. She said that it felt like she was punishing herself this week not being able to see me, I blushed with shame and told her how sorry I was and that it will never happen again and she just smiled at me which made me feel amazing and I knew all was forgiven.

Kayleigh went for a shower then and I sorted us out a nice food, candles, music…a really romantic meal for us both.

When she came back she was all clean and wearing a sexy little dress of her own with her hair back and bare feet, I handed her a glass of wine and we sat down.

Over dinner we talked about the week, she asked me how I liked sleeping in the cage and I told her honestly that I didn’t like it because it was very uncomfortable to sleep in but that it had got easier and I got quite a bit of sleep the night before. Then she asked about the chastity belt and I tried to keep my composure but it all just kind of came out.

I told her how crazy I’ve been feeling and how I couldn’t concentrate and have been in a terrible mood, she just found it all hilarious and was literally laughing out loud at some of the things I was telling her about, I told her it wasn’t funny but that just made her laugh more, then she started playing with the belt key between her fingers while I told her all about THAT night with the MP3 file, just thinking about that makes me frustrated!

After dinner we cuddled on the sofa for a while, me laid with my head on her knee, her running her fingers up and down the metal covering my damp pussy.

I know you love hearing about the BDSM aspects of our relationship but sometimes I just enjoy being a couple, sitting together and talking and looking into her wonderful eyes! She really is an amazing person, she has two jobs and she is putting herself through a PRINCE2 course as well as being with me. Plus she is passionate, compassionate, mature, friendly…….lovable, if somewhat short tempered on occasion! I just wanted to say that as I think people sometimes forget that we are really people, not just characters in BDSM scenes.

Anyway, after a while I couldn’t stand it anymore and begged her to take the belt off, eventually she said “OK I’ll take it off if you promise not to cum until I say so” which I obviously agreed to without even thinking about it!

I followed her into the bedroom and she told me to take off my dress, I slid it over my head and dropped it to the floor then stood and waited in just my stockings and heels. She told me to fold my arms behind my back and spread my legs which I did obediently.

You have no idea how happy it felt to hear the lock click and then feel the belt open and be removed from between my legs, I really don’t know how to describe the feeling of having it removed, the only thing I can compare it to is having a plaster cast removed, except with the relief multiplied by about a thousand!

I was desperate to look down, to see my long lost pussy again but I maintained my composure and my position whilst she removed the belt and laid it on the floor. She then ran a single finger gentle up the length of my slit and I gasped and I swear I almost came just from the sensation as her finger started my clit tag swaying.

She told me to get on my knees and as I obeyed she went over to my dresser and returned with a paddle brush, like you (probably) I assumed I was in for a spanking but instead she knelt down behind me and began to brush my hair pulling it back tightly, then she said “play with yourself”.

I hesitated, unsure if I had heard her correctly, then I got a sharp stinging slap on my ass with the back of the brush so I moved one hand from behind my back and tentatively ran it down my pubic mound until I touched my engorged clit and gasped. My clit was much larger than I remembered it, swollen and massively sensitive.

I touched it again and it felt like nothing I can describe, the sensation was like an electric current passed between my finger and clitoris and I had to pull it away immediately for fear I might cum involuntarily. As soon as I pulled my finger away I felt the back of the brush impact my other ass cheek and her voice came over my shoulder saying “play with yourself NOW”, she was trying to sound threatening but I could hear the smile in her voice.

I skipped past my clit and ran my fingers down my slit, I was soaking wet when I found my hole and quickly pushed two fingers into myself using all of my self control to obey my orders and then began to very slowly thrust them in and out.

I didn’t notice when she stopped brushing my hair but I did notice when she reached underneath me from behind and my fingers froze inside me as she pushed one of hers into me along side them.  I moaned loudly and the words “Oooohh please” escaped my lips as I struggled to contain myself to which she replied with “Don’t” and quickly pulled her finger back out of me.

She got up and walked around me towards the closet but as she did she looked back over her shoulder, a big grin on her face, and said “Carry on”. I closed my eyes and continued to finger fuck myself very slowly so as not to cum despite being hornier than I’ve ever been in my life.

When she came out of the closet she was sucking the finger than had been inside me and she looked so sexy, she was carrying two pairs of handcuffs and a riding crop. She reached me and held out the cuffs saying “On the bed, on your back, wrists to ankles” which a big happy smile on her face.

I looked up at her, flushed and horny, took my fingers out of myself and reached up to take the cuffs but she pulled them back and said “Clean your fingers! Dirty Girl!” as if she was talking to a child.  I blushes and then looked her straight in the eye as I placed my wet fingers in my mouth and sucked on them filling my mouth with the taste of my pussy.

With my fingers clean I climbed onto the bed positioning myself knelt near the bottom of it, then I laid back so my legs were bent underneath me. Kayleigh watched as I attached the cuffs to my ankles and then reach down and attach one to my wrist, I struggled with the other so she helped me finish restraining myself.

Being restrained like that feels very submissive, I have to spread my legs and bow my body and it feels and looks like I am presenting myself to her and it feels amazing! I think she is quite fond of it too!

As I lay there she slid her dress over her head and she was naked beneath it, my eyes drank in her sexy smooth skin remembering the curves of her body that I had missed more than I realised over the previous week. She picked the crop back up and began running it over my body, every now and then giving me a little smack with it.

She ran the tip of the crop over every part of my body and then finally let it rest of my clit, my eyes were closed and I was biting my lip so hard trying to contain myself, she moved the handle so that the crop was balanced on my stomach with the leather tip still resting on my swollen clitoris and told me to keep still.

She climbed onto the bed and straddled my head facing the bottom of the bed, her legs were spread wide and her sweet pussy was just inches from my face. She took my nipples between her fingers and began to roll them and pinch them as she gave me my orders, “You’re going to make me come with your tongue and when you do I will signal you to come to.” and with that she lowered her pussy onto my hungry mouth.

My mind was spinning a little, she was pulling and twisting my nipples and it was driving me wild and I had only been half listening to my orders! I didn’t have to much time to think about it though as my tongue went to work circling her clit and then plunging into her tasting her for the first time in too long.

She was wet, very wet, and I could feel her juices coating my face as I pleasured her and it just made me more horny. I could hear her moaning and suddenly she let go of my nipples and her body pushed down harder on my face and I realised I couldn’t breathe and then the crop smacked my clit so hard and I screamed and came all at the same time and my mind when somewhere completely new and I was in a total daze.

I didn’t pass out but I was completely out of it and when I started to come to Kayleigh was no longer on top of me, she was laying beside my with a slightly concerned look on her face.  The cuffs were still on my wrists but they weren’t attached to my ankles anymore and my legs were stretched out below me.  Kayleigh was stroking my hair and as I focused on her she said “Are you Ok baby?” and I slowly nodded my head.

It was a totally weird experience but an amazing one, I don’t know what made me go so weird, it might have been the built up tension or the lack of oxygen or….I don’t know what! I can say though that it was probably the best orgasm I have ever had!

Kayleigh was amazing afterwards, really loving and caring, she got me a drink and then cuddled me and it was exactly what I needed.

After a while we started to discuss the TPE week and she laid out the rules that she wanted me to stick by for that week, they were:

  1. She will live in my house with me
  2. I will do all of the cooking, cleaning and bill paying
  3. I will obey her every command without question
  4. she will respect my safety and wellbeing
  5. I will ask permission before eating
  6. I will ask permission before using the toilet
  7. She will choose what clothes I will wear at all times
  8. I will not engage in any sexual act without her permission
  9. I will not write about our TPE week on your blog
  10. I will wear a token of her ownership at all times

We discussed each of these rules at length, she explained what she meant by them and I asked questions which she was more than happy to answer.

When it came to the last one I showed her the collar I had bought which she was very happy with and told me I must wear it at all times when I am in the house, then she produced a white gold necklace which was made up of a thin gold band that goes around my neck and then it has a white gold padlock that fastens it as the front and hangs down like a pendant but it is a working padlock.  It’s a really beautiful necklace but I can’t take it off when its locked! I loved it.

Unfortunately I cannot write anything more about that week due to rule number nine, we discussed this rule for a while because I really wanted to write about the week but she said she wanted it to just be about the two of us and eventually I agreed.

I can say that I really enjoyed the week, it brought us even closer together despite my being very frustrated with it at times! Another thing I can say is that since the TPE week I now have layered blonde rather than brown hair!  I’m not sure if I will keep it like this or not although it has grown on me somewhat since it was done.

I guess I should explain the previous post a little. After the TPE week we went back to living in separate houses and things conspired against us and I didn’t get to see Kayleigh too much, we went from me living in her pocket to hardly seeing each for a week and for some reason I got really down about it.  I can’t really explain how I was feeling except to say that I was pretty down and then at the end of the week when I finally got to see Kayleigh she dropped a bomb shell, she wants to collar me!

This should have made me happy I think but in actually fact it filled me with fear and confusion, my reaction was not what Kayleigh was expecting or hoping for and she got quite upset about it and I don’t blame her!  I don’t want to go into too much detail about it because at this point it doesn’t really matter.

Eventually I got out of my depression and realised that this is actually something I want, I love Kayleigh and I can’t imagine not being with her and I don’t want to be without her and she loves me! I think that was part of the problem, I didn’t trust that she loved me and that this wasn’t just a bit of fun for her.

So when it came to her birthday, along with all the “normal” gifts that I gave her was my collar from the TPE week and a note saying “Please accept me as yours”.  She was shocked but very happy and so was I!

We have discussed it quite a bit since Monday (her birthday) and I think we have agreed how it will work but I will save that for another entry I think.

I’m sorry for my absence but I am back writing now, only now I’m going be owned for the first time in a long while, exciting times! I am looking forward to your comments on this surprising (for me anyway!) turn of events!

Oh, and to explain the title, I’m reading a certain trilogy of books at the moment (isn’t everyone!?) and I think Kayleigh might have already read them and starting getting ideas from them! e.g. Riding crop to the clit!

Cruel and unusual

A short time ago I received an email from Kayleigh, which I can’t reply to obviously. The email had no salutation, it literally just had a set of instructions which were as follows:

  1. Download the mp3 file from here
  2. Load the mp3 onto your iPod and put it in a playlist on its own
  3. Make sure the iPod is fully charged
  4. Set an alarm on your iPod for 6am
  5. Cut two square pieces of duct tape and leave them in your cage
  6. Just before 10pm, leave your iPod just outside your cage but pass the headphones though the bars near the door end
  7. Start the playlist and put it on repeat
  8. Put your leather wrist cuffs on
  9. Get into the cage feet first and lie on your back with your legs bent up
  10. Do not take your phone, laptop or iPad into the cage tonight
  11. Insert the earphones and then place a piece of tape over each one to keep it in
  12. Reach behind your head and fasten the door and your two cuffs together with the timer lock
  13.  Sleep tight

I’ve just downloaded the file and listened to it for five minutes, I need a cold shower now! It’s basically just 24 seconds of a girl having sex and almost having an orgasm, I don’t even know why it makes me horny, but it does! I didn’t get much sleep last night but I can’t see myself getting any tonight! I think I’ll go and have a lie down now.

Crime and punishment

Kayleigh came round after work last night to discuss the plans for my week of TPE, we discussed it for a while and I think we are both happy with the plans for it. However, I had also decided to tell her about this blog which is something that I have been wrestling with for some time as most of you will know.

I started this blog as a substitute for discussing things with my friends because discussing being a lesbian with then, never mind BDSM, was really out of the question for reasons that I have gone into in detail before. Since then I have “come out” as bi-sexual to those friends and am building up to doing the same with my family, which is a much scarier undertaking!  So you could say that the blog has served half of it’s purpose already really. However the other half is probably even more important to me, I will never “come out” to of them about the BDSM side of my life so this blog is really the only outlet, apart from Kayleigh herself, that I have to express my feelings and get input from like-minded people.

I decided to tell Kayleigh about it for a few reasons, none of them new. For a start she is my Domme and I shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her, especially when I have already been punished for keeping secrets and agreed not to keep anymore, a blatant lie! Secondly, I don’t want to keep secrets from her, I am serious about being a submissive and I want to carry out my role as well as I possible can.

So anyway, I was decided on that course of action so when we finished talking about the TPE plans I told her about it. She was furious!

I completely understand her reaction and I didn’t try to defend myself until she asked me why I hadn’t told her about it.  Then I explain basically what I have said above, that it is an important outlet for me and I was worried that she would either make me stop or want to be involved in it or read it which would change the dynamic of it completely and I would lose it as an outlet.

To her credit, despite her anger, she understood and accepted that but stated in no uncertain terms that it was no excuse for flat-out lying to her, I felt extremely ashamed of myself.

When she had calmed down a little bit she explained to me why she was so angry, that trust was had to be absolute with her and that she could not and would not tolerate any more lies from me. She asked me flat out if I had any more secrets and I said no, which is true, she said that she should just leave me but that she thought we had something that shouldn’t be thrown away because of my stupidity, I was crying at this point, I thought she was going to leave me.

Eventually she said that I was on my last chance, if she found out about one more lie from me she would be gone and it would be my own fault. I apologised, a lot and thanked her for giving me another chance.

She surprised me then by saying that she could see the blog was important to me and that she didn’t really care about me writing the blog, though she said it would have been nice to be asked, and that she will allow me to continue writing it and that she would make no effort to read it or to find out the details of it. I was feeling very grateful then but also even more stupid and ashamed for not telling her about it sooner!

Then she told me the punishment for lying and my heart sank.

Starting last night I must be in my cage by 10pm each night, I have to send her a text showing me locked in the cage at exactly 10pm each night and it must be locked with a timer lock set to eight hours, so I am allowed out at 6am. She also put me in my chastity belt, locked it and took the keys. This will last for seven days during which time I am not allowed to contact her in any way except to send the pictures.

I slept in the cage last night and let me tell you, it isn’t at all comfortable and it is extremely boring! Tonight I think I will put the cage in the lounge so at least I can watch TV!

The punishment lasts until next Thursday, it’s going to be tough. For one I don’t generally go a day without masturbating, especially since getting the piercing and I can already feel a need building up inside me that I am not going to be able to satisfy at all (I can only really cum from clitoral stimulation). Then there is the eight hours a day in the cage which is going to be complete hell, it’s so cramped and horrible being in there! And worst of all is not being able to contact Kayleigh, I text her all the time and not being able to contact her in anyway is going to be impossible! I think I would have preferred it if she had just broken my fingers!

After I have served my punishment we are going to start the TPE on the Friday so at least I have that to look forward to. Although I say look forward to it, it might be even worse than the punishment!

I am starting to think this TPE week will be make or break for me and Kayleigh, I think we have got to a point in the relationship where we are ticking along quite nicely and I think this might be her way of testing to see if it will go where she wants it to. She is still young and I think she wants to know if she is wasting time with me that she could be spending meeting new people.  She hasn’t said any of this, it’s just what I have come up with on my own but I think it makes sense.  My plan is to make sure she doesn’t want to live without me after that TPE week is over.

Last thing, it’s her birthday on 2nd July, she’ll be 22. I need to think of some good presents to get her, normal ones and of course kinky ones. I think I’ll be OK on the normal ones but I would appreciate help with the kinky ones! She likes things that lock as you know, I’d lie to get her something really different, something that you don’t see in your average BDSM store but I’m coming up blank in my Google searches! Help please?!

I was asked in a chat message about my timer padlocks. This is a picture of one, I have two. They work just like a normal padlock except once you push it down you turn the timer to lock it. One full turn is an hour and you can turn it up to eight times. I have no idea where they came from, I was given them by my ex Mistress when she moved to Australia and I have never found them anywhere despite spending a long time looking. I think they may have been custom-made but I don’t know for sure. They are fun anyway!