Finger discipline


I’ve mentioned on plenty of occasions how I believe my body betrays me at every available opportunity. To be honest I’m not entirely sure if it is my body itself or if it is my subconscious that is doing the betrayal and my body is just jumping on the band wagon or following orders, it’s hard to tell. It’s a little scary to be honest because I do think that my subconscious has a little too much control over my body.

Normal people leave bodily functions such as breathing and their heart pumping to the parts of their brain that can act without conscious thought and that is fine but I am starting to believe that my own version has slightly larger aspirations than just keeping me alive.

For those that don’t know what muscle memory is I’ll give a definition:

the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement.

So things like typing or driving use muscle memory heavily so that you don’t have to think about what your hands and feet are doing, you can just concentrate on what you’re writing or where you are going.

Over the past year or so Mistress has been teaching me, more like training me really, to act in the way that she wants. I relish this and take genuine pride in behaving how she expects with very little input required from her especially when I can see that it pleases her. I’ve mentioned before that she can tell me to open my legs and by the time my brain has registered what she has said my legs are already open and recently she told me why.

For months now every time she told me to open my legs (which is quite often by the way!) she has opened them for me as she said the words. Not before, not after but as she spoke the words she pulled my knees apart. I honestly didn’t notice at the time, I’ve long since become used to her touching me and moving my body and just accept it, and it never occurred to me that she was building an association in my subconscious between those words and that action.

Mistress also told me that there are other associations that she has built or is in the process of building in my brain but she refused to tell me what they are, she said it is none of my business. I’m not convinced that is technically true but anyway…

There are other things that I have learnt which are less ingrained but I still believe she has indoctrinated into me. For example if she points at the floor that is a subtle signal for me to kneel at her feet, if she points with the left hand I kneel on the left and vice versa. This sort of thing is very useful for her to assert her control in vanilla settings. At Christmas we were all at my mother’s house, Mistress sat on the sofa and subtly pointed at the floor in front of her. Despite there being several seats free I knelt by her legs much to the confusion of my mother who asked why I didn’t sit on a seat, I just replied that I liked it on the floor which fortunately she accepted without much argument.

Whilst kneeling isn’t something my body does without my input (thankfully!) there is a subconscious element to it. It’s not just following a predefined command, when I see her make that gesture I want to kneel there for her and there is a certain amount of compulsion for me to comply.

Anyway, this is all background and not the point of this post. The reason I went off on this tangent is to demonstrate that I, the neural pathways that constitute the Lois personality, cannot always be held responsible for my actions and therefore it is not my fault that I was awoken on Saturday morning by my own moans with two fingers pushed inside my dripping wet pussy!

Mistress was well and truly awake, propped up on her elbow and had been watching my unconscious masturbation for several minutes when I started to come around (pun intended!). Her first words to me that morning were “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”, which sounds mean but she did have a huge grin on her face when she said it.

I quickly pulled my hand out from under my slip but didn’t know what to do with it, my fingers were coated in juices. Mistress grabbed my hand and wiped my fingers over my face and then she jumped out of bed still holding my wrist and pulling me across it until I almost fell onto the floor out of her side.

I managed to get my feet on the floor and she pulled me around to the foot of the bed and bent me over to lean on it, I knew what was coming and in the hope of winning some favour I reached back and lifted my slip over my ass. This is Mistresses favourite punishment caning position.

In case you weren’t aware I have a bit of a masochist streak so getting whipped, cropped, paddled, flogged and caned isn’t usually an effective punishment or deterrent for me, In fact in less disciplined times I may have intentionally earned such “punishments” however they have usually started with maybe some flogging, then a few paddles and then once I’m warmed up the hot sting of the cane.

Mistresses punishment canings are somewhat different in that they begin with twenty or so full forced swats to my unprepared ass and then end. Whilst I’m usually wet when she’s finished (I refer you back to my opening statement regarding my bodies constant betrayals) they are definitely a punishment and neither the act itself nor trying to sit down at any point in the following few hours is enjoyable…….well maybe a tiny bit! Sssshhhh!

So my Saturday started with a bang, twenty bangs, but then the whole incident seemed to be forgotten. Mistress and I went to Miss Hannah’s house that evening (I may write about that later) and then had quite a relaxing Sunday. However that evening I learn the real punishment for my transgressions.

Mistress claims that this isn’t a punishment but rather an aid to assist in my training to be a better submissive and to control my “wanton sluttiness” better. Every night since Sunday at 10pm I have been locked in my chastity belt until 7am the next morning.

Apparently I have put on a little weight (although I am still within the narrow weight guidelines that Mistress has prescribed for me) because the belt feels quite tight, especially around my pussy which feels sort of “squashed” when I have the belt on. This is a custom-made, very effective chastity belt so it definitely preventing my wandering fingers in the night but it certainly doesn’t allow a comfortable sleep.

Mistress says that if I’m good I will only have to wear it a week but if “the issue” recurs then “we” might need to look at a longer term solution. She left it at that which kind of scares the crap out of me and leaves me massively turned on to be honest!

So, to you the jury, can I honestly be held responsible for the actions of my so-called subconscious? Is it really me who is culpable for the nocturnal masturbation’s of my unconscious body? Or should these charges be thrown out with prejudice?

The defence rests Your Honour.


21 thoughts on “Finger discipline

  1. Richard

    To be completely honest I should have voted not guilty, but I voted guilty simply because I like to read about you being punished, so the more reasons Fiona has got to get the cane out the better. 😀

  2. Simon

    I voted guilty. As you wrote, your actions are a result of having built up muscle memory, so your years of masturbation have simply caught up with you and needs training back out as your Mistress wishes. I presume your Mistress owns your pussy so your unconcious mind needs to be trained to accept that as readily as your concious one does.

  3. skinowner

    I say Guilty, but will also offer two proposals to assist with your education and keeping you out of the chastity belt. The morning reaction is subconscious but I think you can train the mind to discard it.

    The first I have never tested. So a science experiment if you will. Before you go to bed apply tabasco sauce to your fingers much like you do hand cream. Let it dry and in that morning twilight as your brain tells your hands to go there….. If the theory works out you will wake up alert fast.

    A second option is to have your hands handcuffed behind you in mittens while you sleep. The mind will wake up, send that signal to your arms and…….nothing happens. Well, you will wake up hornier and frustrated but as long as Fiona is ok I think you will agree that it is not really important.

    Hope these suggestions help.

    • Mistress Fiona

      Thank you for the suggestions, I think I would be concerned about circulation with the second and I don’t want to have to keep waking up to check on her. The first might be an option but she has a tendancy to put her arms around me in the night and I don’t want her tainted fingers anywhere sensitive. I’ve had tabasco in those places before and wouldn’t choose to have it there again.

  4. masterjohn130

    Mistress Fiona why not go with the mittens idea and leave the cuffs after all as you say the alternative is for you both to have an almost sleepless night if you want to leave the belt off?

    However saying that it sounds like the belt as well as keeping naughty fingers at bay will also encourage the weight to be kept at the required amount so further use of it sounds like a good idea.

    I loved reading about how the muscle memory has been introduced to you so your body responds how Mistress Fiona requires it to. I know all too well how muscle memory works both within a Master slave relationship but also in a much more scary way which is why I have to be escorted everywhere if possible.

    Yes I realise how much you enjoy being punished that way and I know how you would go out of your way at times to receive it.

    As for the charges hmm. I can only speak from my own experience with my own slave. Controlling her orgasms and when she touched herself was funnily enough introduced as a punishment as like you she loves being spanked and paddled so I didn’t feel it was the right way to discipline her. It took me 6 months to break her of the habit of both touching herself without permission as well as learning to wait for permission to cum. Was it easy for her no especially as I was determined that there would be no belt used she had to learn to control herself no matter what.

    So do I believe a slave can learn when it is and isn’t permissible to touch herself conscious or not I do believe they can so guilty as charged I’m afraid

  5. A Dom

    A vote. Hmm. If lois is a submissive I suppose she can have a vote. But her Mistress certainly does not have to abide to any outcome of the vote. If lois is a slave, then a vote is ridiculous and she should be punished for thinking she had the right.

  6. Another Dom

    Not guilty.
    All your past experiences and actions made you who you are today.
    Who you are today is what your Mistress liked in you in the first place.
    Why would someone change what she/he liked in the first place? Of course, in the name of the game, a Domme/Dom can play as she/he wishes with her/his sub and find all kind of reasons to punish her/his sub because simple She/He can. However, and it is only my opinion, why would I possibly want to drastically change what initially attracted me and make it something else from what it is and what has become over the course of the years?

    • Mistress Fiona

      I cannot speak for other dominants but for myself one of the main attractions is moulding the submissive into exactly what I want. Yes Lois was already an amazing person when we met, yes she was a masochist and submissive and everything else I look for in a partner, but she was untrained, undisciplined and frankly out of control.

      Submissives like Lois crave to be controlled, they NEED to be controlled and when they spend a long time without that like Lois did before we met they can go off the rails somewhat. When I met Lois she was a bit of a mess psychologically and through my guidance she has become stable, happy and focused.

      So do I want to change her personality or fundamentally “who she is”, no I don’t, but I have and will continue to change her behaviour to what I want it to be and because she wants to be controlled that way I will succeed. I have chosen to remove Lois’ sexual pleasure from her control and her masturbating without permission is not acceptable behaviour no matter whether she was awake or not and so it is on the list of behaviours I will correct in her.

      • masterjohn130

        I totally agree with you Mistress Fiona that it is obvious that your not changing the person she is. I follow this blog because I love how you both have been developing together and how much you have managed to get Lois into a better head space then she was and stop the self destructive behaviour.

        As a result of you entering her life Lois does come across as a lot happier and a better person as you take control of her.

        Rather then changing who she is your encouraging her to be a better person and develop and flower to her full potential both in her service to you as well as out in the real world.

        As for the masturbating asleep or otherwise it’s against one of the rules you set for her so punishment is needed. Having taken my own slaves sexual pleasure away from her own control I know it isn’t an easy thing to stick to especially someone who has a high sex drive and is used to being able to satisfy their need as and when they need to. But I am confident she will gain the control she needs the more you encourage her and train her

  7. IflyHG

    I’m still trying to wrap my head around the part where you were masturbating in your sleep. I certainly have had sex dreams and both my wife and I have started each other up while we were sleeping but we each have woken up before the real fun begins.

    At no point in your description of events did you say that you didn’t want to masturbate, in your sleep or otherwise. This just sounds like a legalese way to try to get out of the punishment that is coming to you.

    I love the part when Fiona says “what the fuck do you think you’re doing!” with a big grin on her face.

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