Safe Sex


In my last post I mentioned some of the things my Mistress is training me in, some of which push the boundaries of my existing limits and someone expressed concern for my safety in the comments so I wanted to address that in this post.

I have always had a strange relationship with limits, yes I do have them despite what people might think but I really REALLY enjoy when they are pushed and broken, it’s part of who I am. That said I would only ever allow someone that I had complete trust in to go beyond those limits.

I’ve been into the BDSM scene for quite a long time now and in the past it was very much focused on the latter two letters of that acronym and if I’m perfectly honest it wasn’t always done safely and it’s only as I’ve got older that I am very much more aware of the need for things to be done safely.

To list just some of the ill-advised things I’ve done in the past:

  • Had unprotected sex with complete strangers on multiple occasions
  • Had unsterilised needles, skewers and fish hooks pierced through my flesh
  • Been left tied up for long periods when the person tying my had no idea how to bind someone safely
  • Been burnt more severely than is safe for play
  • Injected substances into my body without being fully aware if it is safe to do so

Fortunately for me I came through all of the above intact and more or less healthy but I am well aware that things could have been different and the older me is a little ashamed of the younger me for not taking better care of myself.

I’ve suffered fractured bones, infected cuts, severe bruising and more urinary infections than I can count through BDSM but despite of this I don’t regret doing anything I have done over the years, maybe only the lack of precautions I took whilst doing some of it.

My Mistress has a lot of experience in the things we are doing now and I have full trust in her ability to keep me safe whilst she expands my limits in the way that she wants to, for instance you mentioned there are health concerns with “full toilet service”? We are well aware of this and Mistress has already altered my diet and is giving me strong (and expensive!) pro-biotic supplements to improve the condition and resilience of my digestive system well in advance of beginning that activity.

As for the play partners, they may be random strangers to me but they are absolutely not strangers to my Mistress. I am precious to her and she would only loan me to someone that she trusts absolutely to take my safety into account as much as she would herself.

My eye is pretty much healed now so slapping training will be continuing soon and Mistress has also expressed to me that she will soon be giving me a week during which time she intends to torture me daily using nothing but my own orgasms. It sounds both exciting and terrifying!

25 thoughts on “Safe Sex

  1. peteDom

    Thanks lois it’s good to hear about your past as well as your future. I’m glad Fiona is pushing your boundaries as from your many posts over the years it’s something you need and desire and I’m sure within the boundaries that she sets you will be safe and looked after by her 🙂
    Looking forward to you being used for full toilet service how are you feeling about it? Excited yet?

  2. upstatenysub

    Glad to know you are keeping it safe and getting your limits pushed… A good slave has to walk the line between keeping themselves safe and knowing their place… good luck, i don’t know if i could do full toilet service…

  3. Simon

    For me the safety concern was less about being a human toilet, as the bacteria invovled is human and therefore not foreign to your tummy. (I am assuming these people are healthy to begin with) No, the concern I had was you being on all fours when taking a pussy busting kick. This position allows the majority of the power from the kicker to transfer to you, so it is no wonder your pelvis fractured and could do so again. At least if you are standing, the power in the kick is lessened as the leg has further to travel, and the power would be go up the length of your body, not the width as when on all fours, and your body will naturally lift, again disapparting the power.
    So moral of the story, if pussy busting, do it standing on kneeling.

    • Lois

      It depends on the angle of the kick as well I think, where it hits and with what part of the foot. When Mistress has done it to me it has felt different, more of a superficial pain rather than a deep inside “real” pain, I don’t know how else to describe it. I’ve no idea what she does differently though.

  4. PeteDom

    Hope you have a good wkd but just asking I’m very intrigued to know sometime what happened on the other days of your week of submissive random activities when you feel upto letting your avid readers know. Particularly
    •Tuesday – An very overweight male in a hotel bar
    •Thursday – A mature slightly overweight lady in a very run down hotel
    As these two sounded like you would have done some interesting acts for them and been pretty humiliating?

    • Lois

      Those blog posts are half finished in my drafts folder. I’m trying to avoid the really long posts that I used to write as that is what got me down before. Spending literally days writing for only a few people to read it is very soul destroying, for me anyway. Maybe I will rewrite those posts in a shorter form though, when I get the chance.

      • peteDom

        Thanks for the reply and we certainly wouldn’t want you to get down by writing the posts – interactive is good and Fiona’s idea of letting us decide what happens to you is a great idea perhaps that could be extenteded??
        Hope you get a chance to publish the drafts that would be great – just an idea how about publishing some of the stories you went to so much effort on a site like bdsm library? You could have a lot more readers and signpost them to this blog?

  5. masterjohn130

    Good to hear your eye has recovered hope nothing happens to it again.

    Always had the impression your Mistress looks after you well and glad that you don’t have to put yourself at risk like you have in the past

  6. Marc

    As a sadist I used to battle with the morality of SM; it is difficult to reconcile the act with not being an ‘abuser’. For me it is important that the masochist is both consensual and informed enough to know what they are entering into. Having well defined limits implies have a good understanding of what is happening. So I am all in favour of limits even if they are sometimes transgressed.

    • Lois

      Consent is the deciding factor between S&M and abuse and I imagine it can be a difficult line to traverse for a sadist. As a submissive the most important thing is trust in my opinion although it is something that I for one didn’t consider too much in my early days in this lifestyle, which I regret. If the sub trusts the Dominant to respect their limits and to know when to push them and when to back off, and the Dominant trusts the sub to communicate how they are being effected by what is being done then it shouldn’t be a problem.

  7. John Grey

    Good to see you are writing about your experiences again. I am looking forward to hearing more about your training. Glad to see you now have a mistress who will be training you with safety in mind. I would be interested in hearing more about how you will be toilet trained safely.

    • Lois

      When it happens I will almost certainly be writing about it, for now, like I mention in this post, I am taking vitamin and nutrient supplements to increase and improve the fauna in my stomach and make it more resilient to future “meals”.

  8. Jazzie (Strict-but-Fair)

    Thanks, Lo… it’s a bit like being forced to read the terms & conditions of a not-so-much-fun website.
    It wouldn’t be edgy if it wasn’t edgy.

    • Lois

      Well yes but it was in response to a comment left on a previous post. I don’t want my blog to just be a long monologue, I want it to be interactive and so if things are brought up in the comments I will try and respond in an interesting way. Sorry if this one was boring.

  9. Hut

    Thanks for replying to my concerns, i feel honoured. The reason I posted about shit eating (let’s be honest) is that it is one of the few BDSM activity that are actually dangerous even if you take all reasonable precautions. This is because truly horrible things are excreted in fecal matter. You can get incurable diseases like various forms of hepatitis through coprophagia, and it is particularly bad for women:

    My thoughts on this is this is not a safe activity even if you think you know what you are doing. The risk of permanently damaging you is real and not that small if you do it with people you do not have a full health bulletin on. To me the idea of inducing even mild diarrhoea in someone is repulsive enough, With this in mind, risk is a part of life if you do go ahead with this, then you are truly a brave sub. Also you have been forewarned 🙂


  10. Philip Korkus

    Just wondering who comes up with your tasks? Only your Owner? Does She encourage you to offer advice? What about your fans advice? In particular, was it your Mistress who said She wants to make you into Her human toilet or was this your idea? What about dog or horse sex? Not sure if this was ever mentioned?

    • Lois

      Mistress comes up with everything I do. If I have something to suggest she will happily listen and then usually build it into something of her own design.

      She does read my blog, all the comments and my replies, my tumblr and a lot of my chats. So if my readers suggest something she will almost certainly read it. Whether she acts upon it is up to her though.

      • Philip Korkus

        Thanks, Lois. Hope I don’t see you in court here in the states. As a lawyer since 1986, how you sometimes “weave” your legal rhetoric into your life of slut and slave, is admirable and sexy.

  11. IflyHG

    A pilot friend of mine says, “good decision making comes from experience, experience comes from making bad decisions”. I think we all can relate to reflecting on things we did when we were younger and realizing we could have gotten hurt and feel fortunate to have survived intact. I’m glad to hear you are with someone that you trust but that will also play with you in a manner which scratches your itches.

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