Crime and punishment

Kayleigh came round after work last night to discuss the plans for my week of TPE, we discussed it for a while and I think we are both happy with the plans for it. However, I had also decided to tell her about this blog which is something that I have been wrestling with for some time as most of you will know.

I started this blog as a substitute for discussing things with my friends because discussing being a lesbian with then, never mind BDSM, was really out of the question for reasons that I have gone into in detail before. Since then I have “come out” as bi-sexual to those friends and am building up to doing the same with my family, which is a much scarier undertaking!  So you could say that the blog has served half of it’s purpose already really. However the other half is probably even more important to me, I will never “come out” to of them about the BDSM side of my life so this blog is really the only outlet, apart from Kayleigh herself, that I have to express my feelings and get input from like-minded people.

I decided to tell Kayleigh about it for a few reasons, none of them new. For a start she is my Domme and I shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her, especially when I have already been punished for keeping secrets and agreed not to keep anymore, a blatant lie! Secondly, I don’t want to keep secrets from her, I am serious about being a submissive and I want to carry out my role as well as I possible can.

So anyway, I was decided on that course of action so when we finished talking about the TPE plans I told her about it. She was furious!

I completely understand her reaction and I didn’t try to defend myself until she asked me why I hadn’t told her about it.  Then I explain basically what I have said above, that it is an important outlet for me and I was worried that she would either make me stop or want to be involved in it or read it which would change the dynamic of it completely and I would lose it as an outlet.

To her credit, despite her anger, she understood and accepted that but stated in no uncertain terms that it was no excuse for flat-out lying to her, I felt extremely ashamed of myself.

When she had calmed down a little bit she explained to me why she was so angry, that trust was had to be absolute with her and that she could not and would not tolerate any more lies from me. She asked me flat out if I had any more secrets and I said no, which is true, she said that she should just leave me but that she thought we had something that shouldn’t be thrown away because of my stupidity, I was crying at this point, I thought she was going to leave me.

Eventually she said that I was on my last chance, if she found out about one more lie from me she would be gone and it would be my own fault. I apologised, a lot and thanked her for giving me another chance.

She surprised me then by saying that she could see the blog was important to me and that she didn’t really care about me writing the blog, though she said it would have been nice to be asked, and that she will allow me to continue writing it and that she would make no effort to read it or to find out the details of it. I was feeling very grateful then but also even more stupid and ashamed for not telling her about it sooner!

Then she told me the punishment for lying and my heart sank.

Starting last night I must be in my cage by 10pm each night, I have to send her a text showing me locked in the cage at exactly 10pm each night and it must be locked with a timer lock set to eight hours, so I am allowed out at 6am. She also put me in my chastity belt, locked it and took the keys. This will last for seven days during which time I am not allowed to contact her in any way except to send the pictures.

I slept in the cage last night and let me tell you, it isn’t at all comfortable and it is extremely boring! Tonight I think I will put the cage in the lounge so at least I can watch TV!

The punishment lasts until next Thursday, it’s going to be tough. For one I don’t generally go a day without masturbating, especially since getting the piercing and I can already feel a need building up inside me that I am not going to be able to satisfy at all (I can only really cum from clitoral stimulation). Then there is the eight hours a day in the cage which is going to be complete hell, it’s so cramped and horrible being in there! And worst of all is not being able to contact Kayleigh, I text her all the time and not being able to contact her in anyway is going to be impossible! I think I would have preferred it if she had just broken my fingers!

After I have served my punishment we are going to start the TPE on the Friday so at least I have that to look forward to. Although I say look forward to it, it might be even worse than the punishment!

I am starting to think this TPE week will be make or break for me and Kayleigh, I think we have got to a point in the relationship where we are ticking along quite nicely and I think this might be her way of testing to see if it will go where she wants it to. She is still young and I think she wants to know if she is wasting time with me that she could be spending meeting new people.  She hasn’t said any of this, it’s just what I have come up with on my own but I think it makes sense.  My plan is to make sure she doesn’t want to live without me after that TPE week is over.

Last thing, it’s her birthday on 2nd July, she’ll be 22. I need to think of some good presents to get her, normal ones and of course kinky ones. I think I’ll be OK on the normal ones but I would appreciate help with the kinky ones! She likes things that lock as you know, I’d lie to get her something really different, something that you don’t see in your average BDSM store but I’m coming up blank in my Google searches! Help please?!

I was asked in a chat message about my timer padlocks. This is a picture of one, I have two. They work just like a normal padlock except once you push it down you turn the timer to lock it. One full turn is an hour and you can turn it up to eight times. I have no idea where they came from, I was given them by my ex Mistress when she moved to Australia and I have never found them anywhere despite spending a long time looking. I think they may have been custom-made but I don’t know for sure. They are fun anyway!

15 thoughts on “Crime and punishment

  1. Simon

    Pleased that Kayleigh was ok with the blogg, just cross with the lie and impressed with the punishment.

    I am actually picking up thoughts and ideas from reading your blogs on non corporal punishments and how effective they are.

    I am hoping this week albeit a punishment week and the TPE week will bring you closer together, mentally as much as physically as I suspect there is history with Kayleigh that would be useful for you to know. Communication is the most important aspect in any/every relationship.

    With regards to present ideas, I did come across this…

    • Lois

      Thank you for the present suggestion but I already have one of those, it’s in my toy chest if you look at the link on the main page I like were your head is at though!

  2. Onohara

    Lois, good on you for coming clean about the blog. I’m enormously relieved on your behalf – I actually think you got off pretty easily, since I’d lay odds that at some point Kayleigh was planning to use both the cage and the chastity belt in this manner anyway. The not contacting her is the only “new” punishment she wouldn’t have done otherwise, and it’s a small price to pay for both her giving you another chance AND your being able to keep the blog.

    I also suggest re-reading Dante’s comment from the last blog, it strikes me as very wise.

    (And yes, being caged is really boring. Try learning meditation techniques. Seriously. It helps. I suspect you’re going to be spending more of your future there.)

    I think you’re right about both the make/break nature of the TPE trial and about what Kayleigh is looking for. Assuming you both come through the week well (and I suspect you will) I think she very much wants a permanent M/S relationship. That’s where Dante’s words really matter – as a young domme she is going to make mistakes (I’m really surprised she hasn’t made more, though I agree that the sugar/tea punishment was an overreaction) and you need to be as forgiving of her as she has so far been of you. Once the infatuation of the new relationship wears off it will be your daily compatibility, not the mind-blowing sex, that will define the relationship’s success – be thinking of that as you evaluate the TPE trial.

    Oh, and as for a gift, assuming the trial is successful, that’s easy. You’re the gift. All of you. Indefinitely. Give her the key.

    • Lois

      I always enjoy reading your comments Onohara, I am glad you take the time to post them so thank you.

      It does feel like a weight has been lifted now that I have told her about the blog and the fact that she has been so “fair” about it, putting aside the punishment which isn’t really about the blog, makes me feel even more silly and ashamed for not telling her earlier.

      I will look into meditation techniques, thanks for the tip, maybe it will help me get some sleep in the damn thing!

  3. Dante

    I wasn’t going to post this having JUST seen you (Lois) log offline at 12:40 AM or so Cambridge time while in your 2nd night of punishment, but figured what the hell and here it is below…

    Bravo for the punishment (isn’t that what everyone wants to hear?) however I do have one caveat…Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock ..oh I do like stirring the pot! I’ve never seen a malfunction in a clock…what will you do if happens to your lock? Tick, Tock, Tick Tock… How’s that for non-corporal punishment? Or how about this…how many spiders will crawl into your cage with you while you lay there on the floor at night? and then there’s this… you bring something to eat inside your cage while you are up watching the idiot box and suddenly you begin choking from misswallowing what you just ate…or…you start convulsing with multiple seizures and are rendered helpless (I know, sounds extreme yet today my cousin Dana was just operated on removing a brain tumor the size of the surgeons fist which, the doctor stated had been growing for some time…imagine that…just 3 days ago my cousin Dana was walking around healthy as can be for ALL appearances sake with NO symptoms until; that is, she went into convulsions later that evening. Had her husband not been there, she would surely be dead. Yes this is extreme, but anything is possible…how many of you have heard of Murphy’s Rule/Law? Alot can happen in 24 hours…think of it this way..the 10:00 snap shot takes 1 second plus 10 seconds, 20 seconds to send it out of the 86,400 seconds in 24 hours. That leaves 86,379 seconds for something to go wrong).

    The point I am making is that anything, make that ANYTHING can happen as we humans have yet perfected crystal ball technology to allow us to see into the future…like the house catching fire due to faulty wiring (yes another extreme yet happened to my neighbor’s house 2 Christmases ago at 3:00 in the morning while they were sleeping)… and Lois is left unsupervised in a compromised situation.

    As a Dom you assume full responsibility for your sub’s well being in exchange for their trust and submission. Keeping that at the forefront of any D/s relationship is of utmost importance. As a Dom, you are a mentor to your sub. Need I say more?!! Of course I should!

    I read comments here and realize some people just don’t think! …and Lois..there are a thousand trees in front of you yet you can’t see the forest. Start thinking first before going off whimsically along your way because you are much smarter than you’ve been acting being overly infatuated with your situation which tends to blur your vision (don’t feel bad it happens to all of us, including me).

    You feel relieved that she is going to give you ONE more chance???…how many more chances are you willing to give a young individual the POSSIBILITY to fuck up your life would be something to consider.

    We all think we know somebody right off the bat…how long was that girl in London with whom you had drunken “relations”, your friend?

    There are several points here in this comment…as “food” for thought; more importantly, your thought(s)…the thing you have the courage to confront them in your mind?

    Watch out for the spiders!

    • Onohara

      Unsupervised bondage of any kind (including self-bondage involving timed locks, keys frozen in ice, etc.) has risks of the kind you describe. I assume Lois knows this, but…yeah.

    • Lois

      You wait ages for a Dante comment and then two come along at once! (That’s a bus joke, it may be an English only thing I’m not sure!)

      I appreciate what you’re saying about being locked in the cage overnight, I’ve read many a comment on various sites about safe, sane and consensual and don’t think that it didn’t occur to me before “agreeing” to this punishment, I think I mentioned I was intelligent? The thing is though, as you say a fire could start at any time and in that situation being locked in a cage is probably not a good situation to be in, but if I thought about “what if’s” all the time I would never do anything. For a start, in the “fire starting in the night” scenario I would never go to sleep!

      I live my life in a certain way and for me living life involves taking risks, some of them are small risks like getting in my car and hoping I’ll avoid all the idiots on the roads. Others are bigger risks like jumping out of a plane and hoping a thin piece of material will stop be going splat or locking myself in a cage and hoping I don’t have a house fire! I’m very sorry to hear about your cousin, I hope she is recovering. You said that if her husband hadn’t been there she would likely have died? I live alone, in a bed or in a cage if my time is up then I guess, it’s up!

      Yes Kayleigh is young, yes we have only known each other for less than six months and yes, I am infatuated with her still. I’m under no illusions that this may wear off, that we may tire of each other and that the relationship may ultimately fail. Should I then live my life expecting it to fail? Planning for the eventuality of failure, or should I give it everything I have got and deal with failure if it happens. You mentioned Murphy’s Law, well Murphy’s Law is a pessimistic outlook on life and that is not how I want to live mine, even if it means I die young and locked in a cage.

      p.s. Spiders need to stay the f*ck out of my cage!

      • Dante

        You didn’t get the point Lois…it is NOT YOUR job or RESPONSIBILITY to think of the “what if’s” it’s the dominant’s to do so. The point is for the dominant to be RESPONSIBLE enough to supervise their punishment to make SURE nothing HAS GONE AWRY. It’s about the responsibility of the dominant, not yours!

        Why do homeowners buy smoke detectors for their houses? a) to warn them in case of fire b) because they are a pessimist and think their house will burn c) because it’s a safety thing which is a SMART thing to do d) to protect their house as the asset it is e) because they are a pessimist…oh did I say that already (probably because somebody thinks that’s the real reason people purchase smoke detectors for their house is because… ya know…when their time is up, it really wouldn’t have mattered if there was a smoke detector or not – oh ..was that whismical of me?).

        Murphy’s Law is NOT a pessimistic outlook on life, it is only situational within the confines of life…it is something a dominant should be considering. The dominant needs to have the foresight to say what could possibly go wrong with this punishment and then put in strategies to PREVENT or be able to address them SHOULD they occur.

        With respect to the flippant remark of “even if it means I die young and locked in a cage” …I hope you never have to face that situation for you will surely be wanting those words back!

        Oh well…better go back into my cage…I seem to stir the pot up too much…. Tick, Tock

        • Literalman

          The answer in this case is to have a key available, inside of a sealed glass container. In emergency, break glass.

          But you couldn’t use the key and then deny it later.

    • Lois

      Oh, and I take my laptop into the cage with me, hence being online at 12:40, I need to have something to do! I only mention this as your message implied that you believed me to not be in the cage!

      • Dante

        Wrong assumption, I wasn’t implying anything…just noting the time as to the relevance of my post I was contemplating on posting.

  4. jeeprat

    I think your mistress showed a good deal of maturity by allowing you to keep your blog ….Im glad she did too….The next week or so will be interesting

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